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Has anyone hid their surgery from family/friends?

FireRSQmom

Active Member
Ok everyone I'm interested if anyone else had hid their surgery from family and friends? I currently only have two people besides my Dr that knows I'm having the surgery. My concerns are if people know even family that they will think I'm taking the easy way out and will treat me differently. This is open for discussion and would love your feedback.. thanks
 
Ok everyone I'm interested if anyone else had hid their surgery from family and friends? I currently only have two people besides my Dr that knows I'm having the surgery. My concerns are if people know even family that they will think I'm taking the easy way out and will treat me differently. This is open for discussion and would love your feedback.. thanks
I was concerned of that to. The doctor was able to address it and it made it easier for me to tell my family and friends I got that the easy way out, I told them something the doc told me, I was ready for the (haters) downers with info and told them if they had other questions or doubts come to an appointment and get them answered. Or find a support group for them to go to with you. There is always going to be at least one doubter, that will not feel any different.. Be strong and ignore them... I am lucky my whole family is good with my choice, at least supportive when I'm around.. lol and the downer in my friend circle is a stubborn Marine fit as a fiddle... But all is good we just don't talk about it when we get together... Plus I am the type to not care what others think, love the support. They all will come around sometime... They don't have to like it just accept it...
 
Ok everyone I'm interested if anyone else had hid their surgery from family and friends? I currently only have two people besides my Dr that knows I'm having the surgery. My concerns are if people know even family that they will think I'm taking the easy way out and will treat me differently. This is open for discussion and would love your feedback.. thanks
I'm now in class 11,I'm 58 214 pounds. Like everyone up and down with w/ loss all my life. I had a full knee replacement in June before surgery took off 30 pounds then put it right back on. Can't work with this weight on anymore so my doctor and myself decided sleeve surgery. Family not happy about it at all. Worried I will die . Daughter very upset with me.
 
Have you tried presenting with the facts... That really is a low risk that there would be complications. I think I heard like less then 1% have something happen... Try and get all the info from the doc and show everyone that... Maybe take your daughter to an appointment so she can ask questions.... Hope things work out.....
 
Have you tried presenting with the facts... That really is a low risk that there would be complications. I think I heard like less then 1% have something happen... Try and get all the info from the doc and show everyone that... Maybe take your daughter to an appointment so she can ask questions.... Hope things work out.....
Yes my daughter just feels I shouldn't do at 58.
 
Yes my daughter just feels I shouldn't do at 58.
I know a couple of people about your age that had this type of surgery and all went great.... You still have a lot of life left and you are trying to live the rest as healthy as you can. We are here for you. I'm sure once is said and done your daughter will come around...
 
Once I opened up and told people at work, I was surprised at how much support came my way. There are a lot of people that have thought about having this surgery. I was surprised at how many wanted me to keep them updated on my progress. I wouldn't be surprised if a few more had this surgery by next year. As for family, most don't know because if I'm the fatest one in the family than it makes them feel better about there weight. Usually when my family finds out I'm on a diet, they like to pop over with my favorite food that just happens to not be the diet. I'm going to wait until I am healed and back to work before telling my family because this is a crucial time for me. I don't need them trying to force food at me. It's sad but this is my chance to start a whole new life without the burden of dragging around an extra 100 pounds.
 
When I decided to have the surgery, I talked to my husband and my best friend about it. Once the surgery was approved and surgery date set, I told my boss since I was going to have to take some time off work. Also told the 2 women I work with. They were happy for me. I told one of my cousins about it, as well. She wants to do it but her insurance won't cover it. I haven't told my brother yet. I will tell him when I go to visit him in May. He'll be upset with me for not telling him about it before I did it but I didn't want to worry him. He has never had a weight problem so he doesn't understand how hard it is to lose weight.
 
Ok everyone I'm interested if anyone else had hid their surgery from family and friends? I currently only have two people besides my Dr that knows I'm having the surgery. My concerns are if people know even family that they will think I'm taking the easy way out and will treat me differently. This is open for discussion and would love your feedback.. thanks
I am going through the same thing right now, even though I have not set my surgery date as yet, I have not told anyone that I will be doing it and I do not think that I will telling any of my family about it.
 
Yes my daughter just feels I shouldn't do at 58.

Yes my daughter just feels I shouldn't do at 58.

Gjean, I am 64 and am in the process of getting approved for gastric bypass. My Surgeon has assured me that my age is not a deterent to having the surgery. As far as sharing my decision with my children, I have decided to talk to them with full disclosure stressing that the surgery will help make it possible for me to have a longer..healthier..and happy life. Their support is important to me and hopefully they will understand, but, I also am prepared for them to possibly not agree. As far as other people knowing, I have lived long enough to realize that opinions of others should not impact the decisions I make about of personal life. I Know I am making the right decision and to me that is all that matters..
 
I have been open with everyone EXCEPT my Mom. She is type that goes overboard with worry, with her health issues, dont want to add to her stress. I will let her know after surgery is complete and I am doing well. Well also people that I think would tell my mom, I am keeping them in the dark too. Everyone else is super supportive.
 
I say its your journey. I have shared it with a couple of close friends and my mother who had G-bypass two years ago. I told the folks that I told with the disclaimer it was not up for discussion. My husband has been extremely supportive and cannot wait till we can work out and get fit together even though he lost 70 lbs without even trying!! Like I said its your journey you don't owe anyone an explanation and if you feel comfortable just keeping it to yourself right now or forever thats ok!
 
Gjean, I am 64 and am in the process of getting approved for gastric bypass. My Surgeon has assured me that my age is not a deterent to having the surgery. As far as sharing my decision with my children, I have decided to talk to them with full disclosure stressing that the surgery will help make it possible for me to have a longer..healthier..and happy life. Their support is important to me and hopefully they will understand, but, I also am prepared for them to possibly not agree. As far as other people knowing, I have lived long enough to realize that opinions of others should not impact the decisions I make about of personal life. I Know I am making the right decision and to me that is all that matters..

I am 66 this month and am working on getting insurance to approve my gastric bypass too. I am hoping for surgery sometime in July. I am excited and looking forward to enjoy being active, getting rid of health issues caused by my weight, being able to wear NORMAL size clothes. So many things to look forward to. I just don't want to spend the rest of my life loosing and gaining weight like I have done for years. Its a vicious cycle that I am determined to end finally. Keep on keeping on and don't worry about the ones who try to talk you out of it. Most of the ones who have been so against the surgery that I have known have never had to fight weight loss themselves and think its so easy to just eat right and exercise. Some of us just need a little help. Also I have found complete strangers like to tell horror stories. Support is what we all need and to do what feels right for us.
 
I hid my surgery date and location for a few months :) I went to Mexico but never told anyone. As I travel very often from my place in California to many parts of the world due to work, I just told my family and friends I was going on another business trip, but never told them Mexico. Most people just know what they hear from the news.

I had the most wonderful experience. I can't say enough good things about the staff and the doctors :)
 
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