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Has anyone hid their surgery from family/friends?

I was concerned of that to. The doctor was able to address it and it made it easier for me to tell my family and friends I got that the easy way out, I told them something the doc told me, I was ready for the (haters) downers with info and told them if they had other questions or doubts come to an appointment and get them answered. Or find a support group for them to go to with you. There is always going to be at least one doubter, that will not feel any different.. Be strong and ignore them... I am lucky my whole family is good with my choice, at least supportive when I'm around.. lol and the downer in my friend circle is a stubborn Marine fit as a fiddle... But all is good we just don't talk about it when we get together... Plus I am the type to not care what others think, love the support. They all will come around sometime... They don't have to like it just accept it...


I too am having a hard time telling my family and friends about my decision to have vsg surgery. I have told one parent and my best friend and that's it to people know of this huge decision making. Why don't I have the courage to just tell everyone? It's not like they're going to know something has changed in me come January well maybe by March not do a change
 
Ok everyone I'm interested if anyone else had hid their surgery from family and friends? I currently only have two people besides my Dr that knows I'm having the surgery. My concerns are if people know even family that they will think I'm taking the easy way out and will treat me differently. This is open for discussion and would love your feedback.. thanks
I wish I kept it more private! A couple people already putting a negative spin on it. Instead of saying supportive comments I'm hearing about the complications they've "heard" about from other people who knows someone who knows someone's sister's friend's cousin had! I am aware of the "possible" but not certain complications...that's all a part of the research you do and information your doctor goes over!! All I ask is to be positively supportive! Good luck to you!
 
Thanks for everyone sharing. I’m in the testing and insurance waiting stage so no surgery date yet. I’ve heard so many success stories and I’m excited and hopeful to have the same results.
I have only shared with a couple of people because I am paranoid of not being approved. Once I get my surgery scheduled I will tell more friends and family. I am pretty sure most will be very supportive because they know how my weight is holding me back from being my best and causing several health problems.
I have my final nutritionist visit and one more test in February, so praying I will be scheduled soon after those are completed.
 
Thanks for everyone sharing. I’m in the testing and insurance waiting stage so no surgery date yet. I’ve heard so many success stories and I’m excited and hopeful to have the same results.
I have only shared with a couple of people because I am paranoid of not being approved. Once I get my surgery scheduled I will tell more friends and family. I am pretty sure most will be very supportive because they know how my weight is holding me back from being my best and causing several health problems.
I have my final nutritionist visit and one more test in February, so praying I will be scheduled soon after those are completed.
Good luck, I'm sure you will be approved, your life is going to be awesome
 
I am still trying to decide if I should tell anyone it not. My spouse, 5 children, Dad, and a few friends are all that know. When the time is near, I will probably tell my adopted mom,dad, and siblings because I have been upset at them for having surgery and not telling me about it. I know they will be supportive, but they all are gossipers and I am scared to death if the extended part if that family because most have already said that they wouldn't have surgery because it is the easy way out... However it's those people who have diabetes, heart issues, etc who are happy with doing nothing... I am not that way, I am active even with the extra 150 lbs, and now that my kids are starting sports and such I am really struggling to just sit back and watch...
 
I am still trying to decide if I should tell anyone it not. My spouse, 5 children, Dad, and a few friends are all that know. When the time is near, I will probably tell my adopted mom,dad, and siblings because I have been upset at them for having surgery and not telling me about it. I know they will be supportive, but they all are gossipers and I am scared to death if the extended part if that family because most have already said that they wouldn't have surgery because it is the easy way out... However it's those people who have diabetes, heart issues, etc who are happy with doing nothing... I am not that way, I am active even with the extra 150 lbs, and now that my kids are starting sports and such I am really struggling to just sit back and watch...

There is nothing easy about this surgery, and it is most definitely not an easy way out. It's hard, it's life changing, and it takes strength and commitment to achieve your goals. It is a tool to help you succeed, but you will have to do it on your own. I approve of supportive people knowing, but if you feel like they will be negative in any way, feel free to let them know after you've lost some weight are feeling great. :)
 
I was concerned of that to. The doctor was able to address it and it made it easier for me to tell my family and friends I got that the easy way out, I told them something the doc told me, I was ready for the (haters) downers with info and told them if they had other questions or doubts come to an appointment and get them answered. Or find a support group for them to go to with you. There is always going to be at least one doubter, that will not feel any different.. Be strong and ignore them... I am lucky my whole family is good with my choice, at least supportive when I'm around.. lol and the downer in my friend circle is a stubborn Marine fit as a fiddle... But all is good we just don't talk about it when we get together... Plus I am the type to not care what others think, love the support. They all will come around sometime... They don't have to like it just accept it...
I agree with your statement .... who cares.
 
Ok everyone I'm interested if anyone else had hid their surgery from family and friends? I currently only have two people besides my Dr that knows I'm having the surgery. My concerns are if people know even family that they will think I'm taking the easy way out and will treat me differently. This is open for discussion and would love your feedback.. thanks


Only my mom, best friend, therapist, and another person who I talk to for support know. I have yet to tell my brother. The only reason why I need to tell him is because I live in his house and it would be weird not saying anything and then he sees me laid up in bed lol. And he needs to sign my Will. I feel like those who are close to me, and who truly care and have been supportive from day one should know. Everyone else it's either none of their business, or I don't want them to try and discourage me. My son doesn't know, but I feel that is a discussion that I will have with him when he's older and better equipped to understand. And I feel perfectly content with my decisions!
 
Has anyone felt awkward about telling their supervisor why you need time off from work? I have to file FMLA papers to get sick time off from work. Those papers make you specify what kind of surgery you are having. :oops:
 
Has anyone felt awkward about telling their supervisor why you need time off from work? I have to file FMLA papers to get sick time off from work. Those papers make you specify what kind of surgery you are having. :oops:

I actually did not tell my boss. I said I needed time for surgery but did not specify what kind. He asked if everything was ok? I said yes. I asked if he wanted me to push it out, since it was not the best time, and he said of course not. It is medically necessary and more important. I am still hesitant to tell him now what surgery it was. My employees know what kind it was and they are very supportive. I am not sure why I felt a need to hold back on that.
 
Yes my daughter just feels I shouldn't do at 58.
I’m 61 and starting the journey. I do have diabetes and hypertension. So my feeling is that i’m Saving my life and reducing the numerous consequences of diabetes. I used to judge those about the surgery when I was young but after looking at what i’ll Go through in the coming year and rest of my life if anyone thinks it’s the easy way they are uninformed. As my doctor said “what do you care what they think?”
 
My concerns are if people know even family that they will think I'm taking the easy way out and will treat me differently.
My son and my best friend/ex-husband and people who were directly related or needed to know were all informed about my decision to have Rou-en-y surgery. I kept it a secret deliberately from everyone else, including my huge family. If I had told them, they would have dismissed everything that occurred after that. Furthermore I lost the weight so I could be more active. I went to the YMCA 4 to 6 times a week and started hiking mountains in the North Cascades here in Washington State. I would hike up to 5000 or 6000 feet and see a view of the land for a hundred miles around. I became addicted to hiking and camping and it became a thing my son and I did together as often as possible. We still do. I used the surgery as a tool to assist what I was already doing, which was trying to keep myself from dying. My father died shortly before I had surgery, of diabetes and cardiac complications. That's what would have happened to me. So my 7 siblings and my 70 first cousins were all kept in the dark deliberately. I don't know if they could have ruined the results that I got, but I just didn't want them to have the opportunity. The life you live after surgery is filled with brand-new difficulties and you have challenges everyday. There are foods I can no longer eat and that's a sacrifice for me. I have lost a lot of hair and it has not grown back. Losing all that puffiness caused my skin to wrinkle and I suddenly started looking my age. And although I feel bad about all those things, nothing has ever felt better than losing 115 lb. I'm 67 years old, and 12 years post op. I recently had a sudden weight spike and am trying to figure that out with my doctor. I had thyroid disease long ago. Still wearing 33W/30L 501s, still hitting the mountain peaks. I stopped speaking to my abusive family after settling the estate. And I am still happy!
 
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Ok everyone I'm interested if anyone else had hid their surgery from family and friends? I currently only have two people besides my Dr that knows I'm having the surgery. My concerns are if people know even family that they will think I'm taking the easy way out and will treat me differently. This is open for discussion and would love your feedback.. thanks
Good Morning,
I didn't tell anyone, about what I was preparing for. One because, it's no ones business, and two is because, this is something that I have to deal with on my own. It really shouldn't matter if they know or not, because you're doing this for yourself and no one else.
This is for the betterment of you, health wise, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. So, who cares if they were to think or say that you're taking the easy way out. The easy way out, is sitting and doing nothing about it, and continuing to go down that path of health destruction.
I told my sister and my best friend a week prior to the surgery, In fact I was already in the pre-op stage with the liquid diet. They were very supportive, and will be there to support me through this journey.
I don't know you, but I'm here for that support if needed.. It's up to you, to live your most, best life! Stop worrying about what others may say.
It's all about you, from this day forward!
 
I say its your journey. I have shared it with a couple of close friends and my mother who had G-bypass two years ago. I told the folks that I told with the disclaimer it was not up for discussion. My husband has been extremely supportive and cannot wait till we can work out and get fit together even though he lost 70 lbs without even trying!! Like I said its your journey you don't owe anyone an explanation and if you feel comfortable just keeping it to yourself right now or forever thats ok!
Well said!
 
Yes my daughter just feels I shouldn't do at 58.
Good Morning Gjean,
I came across your message this morning and wanted to reply.
I can understand your daughters concern, for the fear of loosing you. But what your daughter needs to understand is by you doing this procedure, you're actually prolonging your time to be around.
No one wants to loose there Mom. I lost mine almost 20 years ago. And I miss her to this very day!
As a child we want our Mother's to be around for all the Forever's in eternity. You're doing this to feel better, be healthier, and to not be in any pain, of any sorts. This is truly for the betterment of you..
I would tell your daughter, to just try to understand your point of view on things, it's never to late for new beginnings. No one knows how your feeling on the inside. I would tell your daughter to just think of all the beautiful and fun times that are to come once you're healed, and feeling better. She has the greatest gift of all, by you still being here! My mom didn't even live to see 50.
As I type this I'm trying hard to not let my tears flow.. I honestly believe that it's not the fact the she doesn't want you to do this... It's just the thought of living life without you.. Is what she fears the most.
I pray that you will receive this in the right spirit, and I hope that the two of you will be able to talk this through and that you will be able to have your daughter's blessings.
I hope that you will have a wonderful day, and know that I genuinely praying for you...
 
I have been open with everyone EXCEPT my Mom. She is type that goes overboard with worry, with her health issues, dont want to add to her stress. I will let her know after surgery is complete and I am doing well. Well also people that I think would tell my mom, I am keeping them in the dark too. Everyone else is super supportive.
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I'm supportive of you too! Peace and Blessings!
 
I am going through the same thing right now, even though I have not set my surgery date as yet, I have not told anyone that I will be doing it and I do not think that I will telling any of my family about it.
It's no one's business! I felt the same way. I told 3 people the week before I had the procedure. So, I know the feeling.
 
I started my testing last year and I wanted to share with my parents and siblings what my plans were, I was so excited...but the outcome was not what I expected, they instead said that i needed to try harder and that I may even die, that would happen to my children, I was so upset that i let everything go for about 3 months and then I started up againin March and here I am with surgery scheduled for June 6, I have to keep it to my self, my coworkers know but not my family. I feel guilty but I need to do this for me.
Hi Blanca,
It's been almost a year for you now, I'm hoping that this message will find you in Good Health.
I am so happy that you took this step for yourself! I am happy you decided to do this for yourself, because at the end of the day, no one can live your best life but you. It's so easy for someone to say try harder or you're not doing your best.. And what I have to say to that is Girl, please! I'm new to this group. I had my procedure 2/28/19 a week ago today, to be exact.. And I already know, that I made the best decision for me! You have babies to live for, and I would've told them, Yes, I am having this done to assure that I'll be around to take care of my kids, when the question came up of dying and your babies..
I really hope that you're well, healthy, beautiful, and feeling absolutely amazing!
 
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