20 years post-op rny how to manage menopause definicies and weight gain

[spareti]

Advice to tackle excess weight gain in last 4 years having quit smoking, recovery from post depression from grief losing of 3 immediate family within 80 and anxiety over current economic struggles and struggling with menopause brain fog, body aches, no sex drive, restless sleep, vitamin and mineral deficiencies, stubborn weight gain inspite of eating less often and smaller portions and trying multiple doctor prescription strength vitamin supplements, appetite suppressants and depression meds

 

[missyinacage]

I'm sorry to hear you're having so many struggles right now. However, big congrats to you for quitting smoking. That is so hard to do. and almost always causes some weight gain. Menopause also makes it more difficult to lose weight.

Have you considered visiting a nutritionist? Or even making an appointment with a bariatric doctor. They are versed in the complicated long term struggle of maintaining weight loss after surgery.

 

[dianeseattle]

Advice to tackle excess weight gain in last 4 years having quit smoking, recovery from post depression from grief losing of 3 immediate family within 80 and anxiety over current economic struggles and struggling with menopause brain fog, body aches, no sex drive, restless sleep, vitamin and mineral deficiencies, stubborn weight gain in spite of eating less often and smaller portions and trying multiple doctor prescription strength vitamin supplements, appetite suppressants and depression meds

You have a lot on your plate--probably literally. There are things you can't do anything about, so the next step is to sort those out and that will make your list smaller.

But emotions can feel big, whether joy or pain or grief or happiness. Sort through your shorter list and ask yourself how you feel about each item. Right now it's a big jumble and it's running through your head like it's on a hamster wheel. YOU have the power to change that and stop the wheel.

Get a notebook or a journal or just a pad of paper, but best of all, some kind of binder you can sort into sections. Put them in order under the headings your emotions are driving: one for grief over death and loss, another for money problems, another for menopause, and another for "failure," or weight regain.

Then just start writing your feelings down, no censorship or editing. Let it pour out of you like water out of a dam. Grant yourself an unlimited amount of time to do this and don't listen to any little voice in your head that tries to argue with you about your feelings or maybe things you SHOULD be doing or thinking instead. Write and cry and yell and scream and pound on the table, or even better, get a pillow and beat it with a tennis racket.

You're locked in a rage cage and it's imprisoning you as if it were a real cell. Luckily, you have the key in your pocket and you can let yourself out.

First, unless you have a diagnosable medical condition, you ARE eating too much. You don't gain weight from being sad. You gain weight from inactivity and eating too much. And food is a beloved crutch most of us turn to when things go bad. It's beautiful and delicious and comforting. And it piles up on you in pounds.

Now, this is all good stuff, but there's one thing that's more important than any of it: GIVE YOURSELF TIME. Especially where grief is concerned, it seems people are always wondering when you're gonna get over it. The answer is: You'll get over it when you get over it, and not one damn second sooner. I was talking to a friend today about a friend of mine who died 10 years ago and I started crying and had to leave so I could go have a cry privately.

But once you make a list of how you're feeling, writing down each emotion and each reaction to emotion, you've taken the first step to the end of the road of pain. It's going to hurt for a while. That's okay. Just keep that journal and write those things down. The more you write, the more they'll fade away. You can write in poetry or prose, first-person or third, fiction or nonfiction, and it all will give you power.

I should have stressed up front that the biggest challenge you'll face is BEING HONEST. You are here asking for help, but we can't really help you. Only you can help you.

But we'll be happy to give you support while you work on your many difficult tasks. And believe me, I've read posts like yours over and over since I came here in 2008. That's life. That's being human. That's suffering. But there's a rainbow around the bend, shining through the rain. You have to walk through the rain to see it, but that's where you are today--in a storm of pain.

But look. You came here. You wrote all that down. You are SO brave. You are so honest. You have power. You will get better and better, and you'll be stronger and smarter and more sympathetic to others as a result. You now know how so many other people feel. They all want to reach out and hug you. They all want you to live a happy life again.

You have to write those things down, and you have to be ready to fight each obstacle that's trying to make you fail. You can do it, you really can. I wouldn't tell you this if it wasn't true. I could tell you my sad story and you wouldn't believe any of that ever happened to me if you saw me today. I'm not just talking about losing weight. I'm talking about feeling joy in my own body. I still feel sad and I still go through bad depressive episodes, but years of keeping journals have taught me how strong I am, and that even the worst pain is temporary.

I'm sending you a rainbow right now.