Food addiction

[Jniz]

My self-diagnosis is food and alcohol addiction sadly I have earned this the hard way. I have been involved with AA and OA and have 20 + years recovery in AA and have opened hundreds of meetings in AA.

I joined OA about 10 years ago and made some good friends and with the help of the program and staying connected with fellow OA members and lots of exercise lost over 60 lbs and kept between 30 and 40 LBS off for about 6 years. When my knee failed me and I needed to have it replaced I gained back almost all of the weight. Knee recovery was not great and it has taken years and lots of PT to have better mobility and I do walk every day.

I met with Bariatric Psychologist required for my surgery and she was concerned about my addictions. I met with her again and due to covid (most not accepting new patients) she was unable to recommend anyone who deals with food addictions. After scouring the internet, the psychology today had some eating disorders specialist I left dozens of messages with two return calls. One who had very little time in the field and the other who I made an appointment with was doing FTF and was in practice over 40 years I was excited. This person was interesting to say the least we met in person and they were heavier than I am and told me they couldn’t see me needing surgery. I was then asked if I had ever practiced mindful eating or low carb diets and, also ask if I was open to hypnosis. Needless to say, I’m not going back. I also called a number of the bariatric centers around the state to see if they could recommend anyone with no success. I have not found people who treat other forms of addictions to be helpful around my eating compulsion.

My BMI is around 37 and just want to have a more normal relationship with food. And have hope that the surgery will help with the compulsion but I know it won’t be easy.

Can anyone relate and or have any feedback for me on my journey?

J

 

[dianeseattle]

I hit bottom at some point, which meant i just kept eating, binging, purging and hating myself to the point of suicide. I did all the groups. Al-Anon had saved my life but i didnt want to be in the addict position. that denial just about killed me. its too painful to detail.

Long story short, it wouldt leave me alone. i went to OA but found it a palace of enablers. id dash out when the meeting ended and hit every drive-thru on th way home.

The 12 Steps just didnt translate to food addiction. I tried and failed at everything. After a while i gave up.

Started looking into RYGB, three different hospitals, three different presentations. Finally, after acquiring a near-encyclopedic knowledge of everything, i found my surgeon and VOILA! Im living happily ever after.

Diet books and programs are not intended to cure obesity. If you were cured, their market would die. Its all very sneaky and i have no problem saying i think there is a huge wave of crticism and humiliation directed at us that civil rights would not allow if the issue were gender or race. We are the last bastion of 2nd-class citizens where public shaming is encouraged

Forget all the "advice." They say that so they can feel virtuous while they pity you.

It took me years. YEARS. i kept thinking it wasnt worth it if i had to wait so long. I used to have a body where a bikini top and a pair of cutoffs was my uniform. One day i woke up at 182 pounds and wearing a size 20.

Getting back was a mental agony. But i did it. Because of all my failures, i admitted i needed a permanent cure, a physical alteration to the body id nearly ruined. If not for RYGB, i might be dead instead of a grateful member of this group. (I also had a knee replacement)

Tell those detractors to talk to the hand. Walk away proud. Accept your body but make plans to heal it. There are no shortcuts. If you need a tool, search my posts for THE ONLY DIET THERE IS. It has nothing to do with food. Its a diet from negative thinking.

 

[Jniz]

Wow! I really appreciate Your thoughtful deliberate reply. So much of what you spoke of in your response rang true for me.

Even a year ago wls surgery was not even in my hemisphere. I more or less thought it was for other people and fill in the blanks. I keep hearing that statistic the diet industry does not want the public to know. Studies show that less than 5% of people who lose 50lbs keep it off more than 5 years. Which I have done 3 times in my life and I don’t have it in me to do exercise bulimia and yet another diet once again.

I have come to realize whatever I resist persist. I am going to do my best to let go and quit beating myself up. And, trust what so many who have had this surgery say that it is not easy but doable with the right knowledge and effort on my part.

I have to admit OA did not work well for me but I did make some good friend. I’m quite sure that a number of them had WLS and never spoke of it.

I will check out THE ONLY DIET THERE is on this forum.

 

[Angel Mom]

I can only share what my experience with OA has been: tremendous! I've been a member for 10 years and I have worked the 12 steps at least 3 times. I have a wonderful sponsor and tried and true friends. They all keep me accountable. I lost about 75 lbs. in OA and have kept 50 lbs off. But it was the emotional and spiritual support that saved me. I have come to understand my emotional connection with food. I have found a Higher Power I can relate to and connect with. I truly believe OA has saved my life. But I have worked my butt off in this program. Lots of writing. Lots of amends. Lots of tears. But with each healed relationship I felt better about who I was becoming. I've learned to keep myself on MY path and let everyone else walk their own. It is none of my business what everyone else is doing. All I have to do is worry about my own journey with HP - whom I call Papa. I'm sorry OA failed you and I wish it had helped you. It's changed me from the inside and allowed me to love myself and find gratitude in every single day! With OA supporting my emotional and spiritual selves and the surgery helping with the physical---I feel I am on the right path. I hope so! I wish you many blessings in your life!