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Has anyone hid their surgery from family/friends?

Discussion in 'Pre-Surgery Questions, Requirements, & Testing' started by FireRSQmom, Jan 25, 2017.

  1. FireRSQmom

    FireRSQmom Active Member

    Messages:
    20
    Trophy Points:
    11
    Surgery Type:
    Sleeve
    Surgery Date:
    Feb 10,2017
    Start Weight:
    260
    Current Weight:
    250
    Goal Weight:
    130
    Location:
    Raleigh , NC
    Ok everyone I'm interested if anyone else had hid their surgery from family and friends? I currently only have two people besides my Dr that knows I'm having the surgery. My concerns are if people know even family that they will think I'm taking the easy way out and will treat me differently. This is open for discussion and would love your feedback.. thanks
     
  2. Keith Wells

    Keith Wells Bariatric Guru

    Messages:
    273
    Trophy Points:
    59
    Surgery Type:
    Bypass
    Surgery Date:
    Feb 14th
    Start Weight:
    298
    Current Weight:
    210
    Goal Weight:
    180
    Location:
    Richlands, NC
    I was concerned of that to. The doctor was able to address it and it made it easier for me to tell my family and friends I got that the easy way out, I told them something the doc told me, I was ready for the (haters) downers with info and told them if they had other questions or doubts come to an appointment and get them answered. Or find a support group for them to go to with you. There is always going to be at least one doubter, that will not feel any different.. Be strong and ignore them... I am lucky my whole family is good with my choice, at least supportive when I'm around.. lol and the downer in my friend circle is a stubborn Marine fit as a fiddle... But all is good we just don't talk about it when we get together... Plus I am the type to not care what others think, love the support. They all will come around sometime... They don't have to like it just accept it...
     
    HeidiRose05 likes this.
  3. Gjean

    Gjean Member

    Messages:
    7
    Trophy Points:
    8
    Surgery Type:
    Sleeve
    Surgery Date:
    Na
    Start Weight:
    217
    Current Weight:
    212.5
    Goal Weight:
    135 140
    Location:
    Calif
    I'm now in class 11,I'm 58 214 pounds. Like everyone up and down with w/ loss all my life. I had a full knee replacement in June before surgery took off 30 pounds then put it right back on. Can't work with this weight on anymore so my doctor and myself decided sleeve surgery. Family not happy about it at all. Worried I will die . Daughter very upset with me.
     
    HeidiRose05 likes this.
  4. Keith Wells

    Keith Wells Bariatric Guru

    Messages:
    273
    Trophy Points:
    59
    Surgery Type:
    Bypass
    Surgery Date:
    Feb 14th
    Start Weight:
    298
    Current Weight:
    210
    Goal Weight:
    180
    Location:
    Richlands, NC
    Have you tried presenting with the facts... That really is a low risk that there would be complications. I think I heard like less then 1% have something happen... Try and get all the info from the doc and show everyone that... Maybe take your daughter to an appointment so she can ask questions.... Hope things work out.....
     
    Gjean likes this.
  5. Gjean

    Gjean Member

    Messages:
    7
    Trophy Points:
    8
    Surgery Type:
    Sleeve
    Surgery Date:
    Na
    Start Weight:
    217
    Current Weight:
    212.5
    Goal Weight:
    135 140
    Location:
    Calif
    Yes my daughter just feels I shouldn't do at 58.
     
  6. Keith Wells

    Keith Wells Bariatric Guru

    Messages:
    273
    Trophy Points:
    59
    Surgery Type:
    Bypass
    Surgery Date:
    Feb 14th
    Start Weight:
    298
    Current Weight:
    210
    Goal Weight:
    180
    Location:
    Richlands, NC
    I know a couple of people about your age that had this type of surgery and all went great.... You still have a lot of life left and you are trying to live the rest as healthy as you can. We are here for you. I'm sure once is said and done your daughter will come around...
     
    Gjean likes this.
  7. FireRSQmom

    FireRSQmom Active Member

    Messages:
    20
    Trophy Points:
    11
    Surgery Type:
    Sleeve
    Surgery Date:
    Feb 10,2017
    Start Weight:
    260
    Current Weight:
    250
    Goal Weight:
    130
    Location:
    Raleigh , NC
    Ok so update!
    I decided to tell close friend of miNE and she is super supportive it feels so good to have some one I can talk to that knows me. Other than her and my husband and kids I'm not telling anyone else.
     
  8. Keith Wells

    Keith Wells Bariatric Guru

    Messages:
    273
    Trophy Points:
    59
    Surgery Type:
    Bypass
    Surgery Date:
    Feb 14th
    Start Weight:
    298
    Current Weight:
    210
    Goal Weight:
    180
    Location:
    Richlands, NC
    thats right surprise everyone with the new you and be the envy of everyone.. They will want to know your secret and you can just smile....Glad you found some support near home
     
  9. Tracy Lindenmuth

    Tracy Lindenmuth Bariatric Guru

    Messages:
    836
    Trophy Points:
    59
    Surgery Type:
    Bariatric bypass
    Surgery Date:
    December 22, 2016
    Start Weight:
    270
    Current Weight:
    144.5
    Goal Weight:
    135
    Location:
    Snydertown Pa
    It's your business no one else's,. I was the opposite, told the whole world and only had two people tried to talk me out of it, but I didn't let that stop me, it's my life not theirs and I'm glad I did it
     
    Kentucky, rainyann and Keith Wells like this.
  10. Anna( Lady Truck driver )

    Anna( Lady Truck driver ) Member

    Messages:
    143
    Trophy Points:
    33
    Surgery Type:
    Sleeve
    Surgery Date:
    January 31
    Start Weight:
    315
    Current Weight:
    285
    Goal Weight:
    180
    Location:
    Shelbyville,Indiana
    Once I opened up and told people at work, I was surprised at how much support came my way. There are a lot of people that have thought about having this surgery. I was surprised at how many wanted me to keep them updated on my progress. I wouldn't be surprised if a few more had this surgery by next year. As for family, most don't know because if I'm the fatest one in the family than it makes them feel better about there weight. Usually when my family finds out I'm on a diet, they like to pop over with my favorite food that just happens to not be the diet. I'm going to wait until I am healed and back to work before telling my family because this is a crucial time for me. I don't need them trying to force food at me. It's sad but this is my chance to start a whole new life without the burden of dragging around an extra 100 pounds.
     
  11. Debbyg

    Debbyg Member

    Messages:
    170
    Trophy Points:
    22
    Surgery Type:
    gastric bypass
    Start Weight:
    278
    Current Weight:
    204
    Goal Weight:
    150
    Location:
    St. Peters, MO
    When I decided to have the surgery, I talked to my husband and my best friend about it. Once the surgery was approved and surgery date set, I told my boss since I was going to have to take some time off work. Also told the 2 women I work with. They were happy for me. I told one of my cousins about it, as well. She wants to do it but her insurance won't cover it. I haven't told my brother yet. I will tell him when I go to visit him in May. He'll be upset with me for not telling him about it before I did it but I didn't want to worry him. He has never had a weight problem so he doesn't understand how hard it is to lose weight.
     
  12. Sharron

    Sharron New Member

    Messages:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    2
    I am going through the same thing right now, even though I have not set my surgery date as yet, I have not told anyone that I will be doing it and I do not think that I will telling any of my family about it.
     
    Kentucky likes this.
  13. ladypoohbear

    ladypoohbear Member

    Messages:
    14
    Trophy Points:
    11
    Surgery Type:
    rny
    Surgery Date:
    june172013
    Start Weight:
    297
    Current Weight:
    157
    Goal Weight:
    155
    Location:
    washington
    Nope. If they ask...I'll answer them. I'm very proud of my journey.
     
  14. Alioop

    Alioop Active Member

    Messages:
    53
    Trophy Points:
    13
    Surgery Type:
    Gastric bypass
    Current Weight:
    243
    Location:
    St louis, Missouri
    Gjean, I am 64 and am in the process of getting approved for gastric bypass. My Surgeon has assured me that my age is not a deterent to having the surgery. As far as sharing my decision with my children, I have decided to talk to them with full disclosure stressing that the surgery will help make it possible for me to have a longer..healthier..and happy life. Their support is important to me and hopefully they will understand, but, I also am prepared for them to possibly not agree. As far as other people knowing, I have lived long enough to realize that opinions of others should not impact the decisions I make about of personal life. I Know I am making the right decision and to me that is all that matters..
     
    Tracy Lindenmuth and rainyann like this.
  15. Cindy Thomas

    Cindy Thomas Active Member

    Messages:
    25
    Trophy Points:
    14
    Surgery Type:
    Gastric Sleeve
    Surgery Date:
    4/4/2017
    Start Weight:
    273
    Current Weight:
    210
    Goal Weight:
    140
    Location:
    Bowling Green, Ky
    I have been open with everyone EXCEPT my Mom. She is type that goes overboard with worry, with her health issues, dont want to add to her stress. I will let her know after surgery is complete and I am doing well. Well also people that I think would tell my mom, I am keeping them in the dark too. Everyone else is super supportive.
     
  16. rainyann

    rainyann Active Member

    Messages:
    18
    Trophy Points:
    13
    Surgery Type:
    gastric sleeve
    Surgery Date:
    3/13/17
    I just had my sleeve done 4 days ago... I will be 66 next month
     
  17. Jo Miller

    Jo Miller New Member

    Messages:
    3
    Trophy Points:
    2
    Surgery Type:
    Sleeve
    Surgery Date:
    03/28/17
    Start Weight:
    276
    Current Weight:
    255
    Goal Weight:
    145
    Location:
    Porum, Ok
    I am 69 and will be having a sleeve done a week from Wednesday! Better late then never!
     
  18. laydiebuug

    laydiebuug New Member

    Messages:
    3
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Surgery Type:
    Sleeve
    Surgery Date:
    Unknown
    Start Weight:
    260
    Current Weight:
    260
    Goal Weight:
    150
    Location:
    Baltimore, MD
    I say its your journey. I have shared it with a couple of close friends and my mother who had G-bypass two years ago. I told the folks that I told with the disclaimer it was not up for discussion. My husband has been extremely supportive and cannot wait till we can work out and get fit together even though he lost 70 lbs without even trying!! Like I said its your journey you don't owe anyone an explanation and if you feel comfortable just keeping it to yourself right now or forever thats ok!
     
  19. Judith Williams

    Judith Williams Member

    Messages:
    28
    Trophy Points:
    20
    Surgery Type:
    Gastric Bypass
    Surgery Date:
    August 10, 2017
    Start Weight:
    296
    Current Weight:
    235
    Goal Weight:
    135
    Location:
    Brooksville FL
    I am 66 this month and am working on getting insurance to approve my gastric bypass too. I am hoping for surgery sometime in July. I am excited and looking forward to enjoy being active, getting rid of health issues caused by my weight, being able to wear NORMAL size clothes. So many things to look forward to. I just don't want to spend the rest of my life loosing and gaining weight like I have done for years. Its a vicious cycle that I am determined to end finally. Keep on keeping on and don't worry about the ones who try to talk you out of it. Most of the ones who have been so against the surgery that I have known have never had to fight weight loss themselves and think its so easy to just eat right and exercise. Some of us just need a little help. Also I have found complete strangers like to tell horror stories. Support is what we all need and to do what feels right for us.
     
  20. TheSleeveLady

    TheSleeveLady New Member

    Messages:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Surgery Type:
    VSG
    Surgery Date:
    4/01/17
    Start Weight:
    220
    Current Weight:
    200
    Goal Weight:
    135
    I hid my surgery date and location for a few months :) I went to Mexico but never told anyone. As I travel very often from my place in California to many parts of the world due to work, I just told my family and friends I was going on another business trip, but never told them Mexico. Most people just know what they hear from the news.

    I had the most wonderful experience. I can't say enough good things about the staff and the doctors :)
     
    Tracy Lindenmuth likes this.
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