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Has anyone hid their surgery from family/friends?

Discussion in 'Pre-Surgery Questions, Requirements, & Testing' started by FireRSQmom, Jan 25, 2017.

  1. Marty G

    Marty G Member

    Messages:
    14
    Trophy Points:
    8
    Surgery Type:
    RYGB
    Surgery Date:
    June 6, 2017
    Start Weight:
    295
    Current Weight:
    277
    Goal Weight:
    200
    Location:
    The Dalles, Oregon
    I have been going through the pre surgery process since August 2016 and have told a few people, but have generally no advertized it to all my friends and family. I don't talk much about it, but now that my surgery is approved and scheduled for June 6th, I am thinking I should tell at least my close family and friends. Most of my wife's family knows and a few of her close friends because she has told them... i guess women tend to share things like this more then men. It doesn't bother me much that my wife's family and friends know. Anyway, it is, what it is, and I'm going to do it. As far as people finding out, it's going to be fairly obvious in six months to a year.
     
    Judith Williams likes this.
  2. Judith Williams

    Judith Williams Member

    Messages:
    28
    Trophy Points:
    20
    Surgery Type:
    Gastric Bypass
    Surgery Date:
    August 10, 2017
    Start Weight:
    296
    Current Weight:
    235
    Goal Weight:
    135
    Location:
    Brooksville FL
    It's your journey and you should do whatever feels right to you. Ì feel like this step is something to be proud of. My kids and family all live thousands of miles away. I have told them but didn't get much of a reaction. Maybe they think I won't really do it, I don't know. Next time they see me,they will be amazed lol.
     
    Tracy Lindenmuth likes this.
  3. Lucky

    Lucky New Member

    Messages:
    7
    Trophy Points:
    4
    I too have not shared my journey with everyone. I also have a tumor that is being removed at the same time. In the past whenever I tried to lose weight and madequate any noticeable progress, my friends always wanted to celebrate with lunch. Quickly I would fall off the wagon. I had lost 50 pounds before deciding to have the surgery. My friends are noticing the loss and some are not happly about it. I have learned to firmly decline all food offers and keep my meals with me to help me stay strong. I am an older newbie. I am 67 years old. My husband and sons are supportive and that is enough to keep me strong. If a friend thinks that me trying to be a better me is a problem -- maybe thet aren't really a friend. I don't need naysayer on my team. It is Ok to just be cordial with some people. My results will be my reward.
     
    Memex5 and Judith Williams like this.
  4. Judith Williams

    Judith Williams Member

    Messages:
    28
    Trophy Points:
    20
    Surgery Type:
    Gastric Bypass
    Surgery Date:
    August 10, 2017
    Start Weight:
    296
    Current Weight:
    235
    Goal Weight:
    135
    Location:
    Brooksville FL
    Lucky, be proud that you have been able to take your life into your own hands and make healthy choices for yourself. I can't even imagine why anyone would not be happy for you in loosing 50 pounds! That is so awesome! Stay strong, you are the one to reap the benefits in so many ways. I am excited for you and know you can do this! I just turned 66 myself last week, so I had to finally make a choice, go into my older years strong and healthy, or be lazy and keep gaining weight til I hurt with every move and get sicker than ever. All my ailments will either go away completely with my surgery, or they will drastically get better. Every one of them is made worse by my weight. There comes a time that its time to STOP the cycle and turn things around. I wish you all the best in your surgery and your journey onward from there. Its an exciting time, don't let your friends ruin it for you.
     
  5. Lucky

    Lucky New Member

    Messages:
    7
    Trophy Points:
    4
    Thank you for your support. I will keep your encourging words close to my heart as I progress along my journey. Take care and live by your words.

     
  6. Joyseb

    Joyseb Active Member

    Messages:
    13
    Trophy Points:
    13
    Surgery Type:
    Gastric sleeve
    Surgery Date:
    May 18,2017
    Start Weight:
    295
    Current Weight:
    290
    Goal Weight:
    190
    Location:
    Wilkes Barre, pa
    I started the process with only my husband knowing , he was very supportive because he was concerned about my health issues. I started to tell some friends at work and they were also supportive, however hadn't told my children or close friends that when surgery was scheduled I told my best friend and children and they were supportive ,I told them I am not looking to be skinny I am doing this for my health! And it my body my decision!
     
  7. Mary Kay

    Mary Kay Active Member

    Messages:
    31
    Trophy Points:
    16
    Surgery Type:
    Hoping on the gastric sleeve
    Surgery Date:
    unknown as yet
    Start Weight:
    245
    Current Weight:
    231
    Goal Weight:
    150
    Location:
    St Paul, MN
    My family is not for the most part going to support me. However I have back issues with pain and am not able to exercise as I used to and I feel it is healthy for me. I have a lot of health problems with frequent infections as I have a IGA deficiency however the Doctor feels otherwise I am healthy and she feels it will be fine. I am sure I will be on antibiotics for surgery and afterwards. All my tests were good. It is just the psychological things I need like plenty of support and I hope you all will be a help with the information on what happens with surgery and afterwards. In reading what you all have posted it looks like there are supportive people here! So what kinds of things have you gone through emotionally considering surgery, having surgery and how has support been for you?
     
  8. Maggie C

    Maggie C Member

    Messages:
    62
    Trophy Points:
    14
    Surgery Type:
    Gastric Sleeve
    Surgery Date:
    05/19/2017
    Start Weight:
    190
    Current Weight:
    182
    Goal Weight:
    130
    Location:
    Austin, Texas
    Hi guys! New to the forum. Had my surgery 5/19/17, so just a few days out. I chose to hide the surgery from friends and family. Only a select few friends and my husband that I am seperated from (still friendly just not together) know. I told everyone I had my gallbladder removed. My family doesn't even know I had surgery at all. They are not the most supportive bunch and I've always been independent. The friends I choose to tell were ones I knew would support me 100%.
     
  9. Blanca Alvarado

    Blanca Alvarado New Member

    Messages:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Surgery Type:
    Gastric Sleeve
    Surgery Date:
    None yet
    Start Weight:
    238
    Current Weight:
    246
    Goal Weight:
    150-175
    Location:
    Fresno, Ca
     
  10. Blanca Alvarado

    Blanca Alvarado New Member

    Messages:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Surgery Type:
    Gastric Sleeve
    Surgery Date:
    None yet
    Start Weight:
    238
    Current Weight:
    246
    Goal Weight:
    150-175
    Location:
    Fresno, Ca
    I started my testing last year and I wanted to share with my parents and siblings what my plans were, I was so excited...but the outcome was not what I expected, they instead said that i needed to try harder and that I may even die, that would happen to my children, I was so upset that i let everything go for about 3 months and then I started up againin March and here I am with surgery scheduled for June 6, I have to keep it to my self, my coworkers know but not my family. I feel guilty but I need to do this for me.
     
    Maggie C likes this.
  11. Maggie C

    Maggie C Member

    Messages:
    62
    Trophy Points:
    14
    Surgery Type:
    Gastric Sleeve
    Surgery Date:
    05/19/2017
    Start Weight:
    190
    Current Weight:
    182
    Goal Weight:
    130
    Location:
    Austin, Texas
    It's sad that people will put their judgements over your health. People in my life see my struggle daily. I work out harder than anyone I know. I eat decently (don't get me wrong, I had my binge moments like everyone else). I'm an overall healthy person. But, still I'm overweight. I'm ready for my outside to match the work I've been putting into losing weight. This was my last option. I'm glad I did it even if most people close to me have no clue. You go do you so you can be around for your children in the future. Every procedure has risks, but so does obesity (even more so). Good luck!!
     
  12. rdy4chngAZ

    rdy4chngAZ New Member

    Messages:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    2
    Surgery Type:
    VSG
    Surgery Date:
    01/2018
    Start Weight:
    280
    Current Weight:
    269
    Goal Weight:
    135
    Location:
    Phoenix, AZ
    I am in the beginning stages, currently working on MSWL right now. I have decided not to tell anyone other than my husband and my best friend. I don't want to be judged by friends and family. Also keeping it from my kids. I might have been willing to tell them, because I know they will notice big changes in my diet, but my husband doesn't want our kids to think that there is something wrong with being overweight. He doesn't want them to have self esteem and body image issues like I do. It's hard though, because I want to talk about it more than I get to.
     
  13. Kentucky

    Kentucky New Member

    Messages:
    3
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Surgery Type:
    Sleeve
    Start Weight:
    230
    Goal Weight:
    150
    Location:
    Kentucky
    I feel the sAme way I don't want to tell anyone because I had the lapband and it didn't work so everyone seen me fail at that.
     
  14. Donna Steinman

    Donna Steinman Active Member

    Messages:
    62
    Trophy Points:
    15
    Surgery Type:
    Gastric bypass
    Surgery Date:
    05--02-2017
    Start Weight:
    227.0
    Current Weight:
    201
    Goal Weight:
    120
    Location:
    Framingham, MA
    Me and my sister both had surgery I had the RNY gastric bypass and my sister had the sleeve. We have not told anyone else in our family. Because I do not believe it's the easy way out because we still have to do the work!! We could eat all the wrong things in tiny amounts so we still have to make the right choices. But it helps before on 1200 calorie diet by end of day I was straving!! Now I am not!!
     
  15. Donna Steinman

    Donna Steinman Active Member

    Messages:
    62
    Trophy Points:
    15
    Surgery Type:
    Gastric bypass
    Surgery Date:
    05--02-2017
    Start Weight:
    227.0
    Current Weight:
    201
    Goal Weight:
    120
    Location:
    Framingham, MA
    I just did mine and I'm 62
     
  16. Judith Williams

    Judith Williams Member

    Messages:
    28
    Trophy Points:
    20
    Surgery Type:
    Gastric Bypass
    Surgery Date:
    August 10, 2017
    Start Weight:
    296
    Current Weight:
    235
    Goal Weight:
    135
    Location:
    Brooksville FL
    I am 66 now and am so excited to be able to get the surgery. I figure if I get it done and get this extra weight off me, I will be so much healthier and energetic for years to come!
     
  17. Clara8

    Clara8 New Member

    Messages:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    2
    Surgery Type:
    Sleeve
    Start Weight:
    240
    Current Weight:
    232
    Goal Weight:
    130
    Location:
    El Paso txFIRENZE
    Hi there, I'm also new to this. I'm with you in that I too cannot trust my family. My only sister is already trying to discourage me. I had to tell her since I need her to take and pick me up after surgery. She says she won't judge me but I'm already feeling judged by her.
     
  18. HEALTHYME

    HEALTHYME Active Member

    Messages:
    35
    Trophy Points:
    12
    Surgery Type:
    Gastric Sleeve
    Surgery Date:
    10/12/2017
    Start Weight:
    409
    Current Weight:
    299
    Goal Weight:
    175
    Location:
    Louisiana
    I've enjoyed reading everyone's input about sharing the news. I've haven't told many people myself. Just less than a handful that are very close to me. I agree with another member, it's my choice and my journey.

    Best wishes to you all and cheers to good health.
     
  19. Tracy Lindenmuth

    Tracy Lindenmuth Bariatric Guru

    Messages:
    836
    Trophy Points:
    59
    Surgery Type:
    Bariatric bypass
    Surgery Date:
    December 22, 2016
    Start Weight:
    270
    Current Weight:
    144.5
    Goal Weight:
    135
    Location:
    Snydertown Pa
    She will come around, don't let her stop you, it is your decision, and it will be worth it in the end
     
  20. Sunnyday

    Sunnyday Member

    Messages:
    15
    Trophy Points:
    6
    Surgery Type:
    Revision from Lap band to gastric bypass
    Surgery Date:
    10-9-17
    Start Weight:
    306
    Current Weight:
    298
    Location:
    Southern California
    I have told some and I haven't told others I think it just depends on the stage you are in and where you are at in those relationships. For example I have not told my grandparents because their is a lot of undue stress in all of this and its not worth putting them through that will I tell them yes but right now for them is not the time.
     
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