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Just starting my journey

K

Karenina

Member
Hi I am brand new to the site. I have been looking for a site that has positives and negatives about surgery, and I hope this one is it. Also have been looking for a site that didn't flash and have popups and other distracting things. Jeez!
I feel calm and in control since I first saw the surgeon a month ago. Then I read the blogs and think, am I nuts? There are a lot of things to worry about!
But I know that I can do this. I have maintained the same weight for 25 years, so I am pretty sure I can maintain at 100 lbs lighter. But, there is no way to get there, for me, besides surgery. I have always thought that yo-yo dieting was much worse than just maintaining what you have.
I also have an exercise plan in place. I had both knees replaced about 5 years ago. When I finished with my Physical Therapy, the therapist said, now you should join a gym so you can maintain the strength in your legs. I instantly thought "well, that's not going to happen". Then I thought, why not? I've been through all this painful surgery after at least 10 years of painful misery, and now I have a shot at being active again. I want to be able to walk and shop and work in my (hilly) yard. I want to be able to walk my dog and take the stairs and get on the floor with my grandchildren.
So for the last 5 years I've been able to maintain 1-1/2 hours at the gym 3 days a week. It is such a high! And all those thin people I thought would stare at the fat girl--- well guess what--they are too interested in looking at themselves in the mirror to look at me.
So what advise do you all have for someone who is in so much denial she isn't smart enough to be scared?:
 
welcome Kareninea
sounds like you've been doing the "right thing" gym, you'll do well also after your w/l surgery. I have seen surgeon and did all my test still waiting to hear back from dr. was a month this pass fri. I love this site everyone is willing to answer? and tell you there story. some things I have read have caused me great concern and made me second quess if I want to go through with it,. but I am so tired of yo you diets, weight loos and then it comming back. I want my life back, not getting any younger so i plan to proceed and get the surgery,. I need to exercise daily, doing alot better with my food choices, one bite at a time, somedays it's like food seems to be all that's on my mind. I know others have had this experice too, can't wait to have surgery and not feel hungry, yeahhhhhhhhhhhhh, I know it's a "tool" and not a miracle thing I have to work at it for life in order for it to truly work.
welcome you'lll find some great people on here, they've been so kind to me and very helpful too.
Donna
 
Hi Karenina, Welcome. I have to say you will find both the up side and the down side to WLS. You will do well with WLS since you already have a fitness routien you have maintained your weight for 25 years, I have been so up and down with my weight it is not funny but I always gained more back than I would lose, yup a yo yo dieter. Have you been to a seminar yet or talked with your primary doctor yet. I know I didn't start getting nervous, anxiouse or scared until I got approval to start the prosses and started doing all my tests , then reality hit and I knew it was all real:eek: The only thing that kept me from chickening out was that I had tried everything over and over again, I have been exercising for an hour to an hour and a half a day 3-6 times a week for the past 10 years and I could not keep weight off unless I stepped up my program and went on a liquid starvation diet and that only lasts so long:(

So far I am very pleased with my surgery and have only had one bump in the road, I was wrned to be careful with alcohol and I didn't pay much attention and 9 months after surgery I had a few glasses of wine which in short order turned into such a desire to drink I was in a terrible state, I was able to get help and quit drinking. Let us know how you are doing and feel free to ask questions, ther are people here from many years out to waiting for surgery and we are all here to support each other through the better times and rougher times. :cool: Tom
 
Hi TwoMas. I have not talked with my primary doctor yet, but I have been to 2 seminars and 1 visit with WLS surgeon. The seminars made it sound so easy I figured there had to be a catch. I want to hear both sides the good and the bad. I think my surgery won't be until early 2013, which is a bummer since after thinking about it for so long I'm ready to go!
Did your problem with alcohol stem from the WLS surgery-- I mean, is it because you couldn't absorb alcohol? Not trying to be nosy, I just like a glass of wine or a mixed drink or 2 from time to time
 
Karenina said:
Hi TwoMas.....
Did your problem with alcohol stem from the WLS surgery-- I mean, is it because you couldn't absorb alcohol? Not trying to be nosy, I just like a glass of wine or a mixed drink or 2 from time to time
Click to expand...

Well I would have to say that my affair with alcohol started years ago, but it was something I had some control over, but in retrospect I always was able to drink more and stay out longer than most of my friends and family. The past ten years (my wife passed away with cancer 6/9/2002 and I self medicated for a few months) I would have a few glasses of wine or a couple of cocktails in the evening and on the weekends I would hang out with friends, do yard work or go golfing and drink beer, superbowl sunday 4th of July and a few other holidays were times I would really over do it, so in short I was a daily drinker but if I was really busy and working a lot it wouldn't bother me to go without and I had never missed a day of work in the last 20+ years because I was too hungover or drunk to work.

During my psych eval my drinking habits were related to the WLS coordinator and on my visit with her for the final paperwork she told me that given my history I should wait at least a year before I drink any alcohol and to be careful because some people develope a dependance to alcohol history similar to mine. Well my first mistake was I did not wait a year, I think I made it 6 months and had a few glasses of wine no big deal however it affected me real quick and wore off real quick, by Christmas I was at a bottle of wine a day and after my on year check up I was starting to hit the bottle more and more, I blamed the stress at work then by May of last year I was screwing up at work missing days because I was too sick to go in completely losing weekends and days but I was unable to stop without getting sick, I tried to quit on my own but to no avail I was completely overtaken and in the depths of alcoholism, it is a scary place to be:(, my job was in jeoprody because I was screwing up left and right, missing days at a time and finally inj August I found AA and through AA I was able to get the help and support I needed, I thought it was a religious program but it is a spiritual program, found my higher power again (who I will call God) and was able to quit blaming my wifes passing on him. That was a big turning point in my life.

You know even if my doctors told me I could not drink ever I am noy sure if I would have listened to them because I thought I had control. I do know now I can never drink again a thought that scared the heck out of me a year ago but not now and I am still working through the aftermath of my troubles I caused for myself at work and will not know if I still have a job until after next Monday, but hopefully they will take into account my 20+ years of a spotless record and commited service to the organization, and that I have made amends and saught treatment, but if they choose to let me go I will also be fine with that, I may not like it but I have lived on this earth for over 45 years and my God has provided me the things I need no reason to think he will give up on me now:D

So I don't know if I answered your question but it is defenately something to keep track of on your journey. I am very happy I had the WLS and I wouldn't change a thing even with the mess I created it has made me a stronger person. :cool: Tom
 
Tom thanks for being so honest and willing to share your story. I am well-acquainted with AA and its principles, as my husband was involved since 1979. The progressiveness of the disease is scary, since he had one slip about 10 years after he first got sober, and the disease had progressed like he had never quit. He managed to get on track again, but it took a full year, and was much harder for him than the first time.
I'm sorry about your wife. I lost my beloved husband in 2010. The whole widow-thing really sucks.
 
Hi Karenina thanks, one thing AA has taught me is honesty and another is to help the alcoholic who still suffers so if me being open with my story will help another then I am more than willing to help because it can be a dark place when one is deep in the throws of alcoholism. And yes being a widow or widower really does suck:( I am sorry to hear you lost your husbandit can be very difficult at certain times of the year. Finally this year through sobriety I am able to deal with it much better. :cool: Tom
 
Karenina, I'm glad that you found this site. It has been a great place for support. I have gotten a lot of good advice here, so take things one step at a time and you will be fine. I'm sorry to hear about your husband passing. I know it's hard when you lose a loved one. My mom passed away last October 3 days after her 65th birthday. I know how you feel about wanting to play with the grandkids and do stuff in your hilly yard, mine is the same way and I have 2 grandkids that live with me.

Tom, I'm sorry to hear about your wife. And it is hard to get over an addiction to alcohol. I was a binge drinker especially when I hung out with my best friend. We are no longer best friends and I no longer hang out at their house. I may take a sip of my husband's beer once in a while, but that is it. I do like to have a few when I am out fishing, but I know that I won't be able to have any and I am fine with that. My health is more important to me than anything else.
 
NanaG67 I think I replied to your friend request successfully. I'm still trying to navigate the site.
I see you are having a duodenal switch. Can you tell me more about your decision to have that surgery? And it looks like its going to happen in less than 2 weeks! How exciting!
 
Karenina, this started for me technically a few years ago. I had always given some thought to having weight loss surgery, but my husband said I would never make state or chapter queen, let me explain this...I belong to a weight loss support group called TOPS (take off pounds sensibly) which has chapters nationwide and canada and such. Anyway, when you reach your goal weight, and you have lost the most weight in your chapter you can become chapter queen or king. If you lost the most in the state then you can become state queen or king. Anyway, my health is more important than becoming state queen. I have diabetes, high blood pressure, fibromyalgia, high cholesterol, depression and a prolapsed bladder. And recently was diagnosed with a 2mm disc protrusion at my L5-S1, so with all these things my doctors want me to have the WLS so I can have the bladder surgery.

When I went to the surgeon, they said the DS was the best one and with my insurance I could have this because my BMI is over 50. They said it was better long term with no to minimal weight loss even after 15-20 years down the line.
Gloria
 
This particular thread is the most amazing and open hearted one yet. All who have shared their deep inner issues are so brave to do so. I think it does take such courage to overcome big losses and tackle addictions.

All I could add add is my story. When my father, who was and still is the champion in my heart, passed away very suddenly, it tore me apart. I can still remember being at the memorial, all the voices and milling people. Spotting a carrot cake and diving in, burying my sorrow by eating. So began my road, my stress release.

I cannot imagine how to go through all of this surgery, and giant diet, with keeping journals, etc., will work for me. I am not the most organized thinker in the world. But this forum does give me hope. After reading the posts contained here has given me insight into what I may accomplish. God willing.


I have to keep my eye on the prize. Freedom from the weight that holds me doen from the things I want to do, freedom from the pain I have in my back, and more. You are all so strong! I am humbled.

Bless you all for sharing and good luck on your respective journeys.
 
CarolElaine: When I went for my first visit with the surgeon, the nurse recommended starting to journal my food intake now, even though my surgery is many months away. I got on MyFitnessPal.com and started. It is very easy to search for foods and only takes a few minutes a day.
Even though I am not dieting or limiting calories right now, it makes it very easy to see what is good and bad about your food intake. The first thing I noticed was that any day I ate ANY fast foods, I went way up in calories and fat grams. Even at Subway where that guy supposedly lost a couple of hundred pounds eating only Subway sandwiches! It gives me an idea of how to eat and avoid things that are not good for me.
I also thought it was a good time to start eliminating things from my diet. The first thing I gave up was my nightly pile of M&Ms. Surprisingly, after a few days my sweet cravings went away. I no longer keep anything in the house like cookies or cakes, candy or ice cream. And I can't believe that I don't miss it.

I'm sorry about the loss of your father. I lost mine about 9 years ago. He was obese for as long as I can remember, then about 14 months before he died he had a medical emergency where they removed most of his colon. So before he died he got back to the weight he had been when he was in his 20s. I joked to my family and friends that being skinny killed him, because he lived such a long full life being obese! Just another excuse for me not to lose weight. But he loved being thin, and I'm sorry he could only enjoy it for a year or so.

So please, just take baby steps on your journey right now and start getting into habits you know you will have to do after surgery.
 
CarolElaine & Karenina, I'm sorry to both of your for your losses. In October, I lost my mom 3 days after her 65th birthday. She had been in a nursing home for 4 years...originally just in there for rehab on a diabetic ulcer, then she just went down hill. I am like she was....diabetic, high blood pressure, fibromyalgia, but she also had degenerative joint disease and macular degeneration from her diabetes. She lost her sight and was wheelchair bound the last 2 years. She was unable to do anything for herself...I don't want to end up that way too.
 
Hi Karenina, welcome to our awesome site. Very friendly and informative people here. Had my roux-en-Y surgery on Monday. I'd be happy to answer any questions that you may have. And again, welcome!
 
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