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Limericks

Discussion in 'Hobbies & Interests' started by Dcepello, Mar 1, 2013.

  1. Dcepello

    Dcepello Member

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    A bawdy and humorous poetic expression of what you are going through in your journey of losing weight or just plain fun. There are many on line sites to help you learn the form. Good luck.

    Limerick (poetry)
    From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

    A limerick is a kind of a witty, humorous, or nonsense poem,[1] especially one in five-line anapestic or amphibrachic meter with a strict rhyme scheme (AABBA), which is sometimes obscene with humorous intent. The form can be found in England as of the early years of the 18th century.[2] It was popularized by Edward Lear in the 19th century,[3] although he did not use the term.

    The following limerick is of unknown origin:

    The limerick packs laughs anatomical
    In space that is quite economical.

    But the good ones I've seen
    So seldom are clean

    And the clean ones so seldom are comical.[4]

    Gershon Legman, who compiled the largest and most scholarly anthology, held that the true limerick as a folk form is always obscene, and cites similar opinions by Arnold Bennett and George Bernard Shaw,[5] describing the clean limerick as a periodic fad and object of magazine contests, rarely rising above mediocrity. From a folkloric point of view, the form is essentially transgressive; violation of taboo is part of its function.
     
  2. Dcepello

    Dcepello Member

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    There was a large man named Bruno
    Who paid for two extra seats to Fontainebleau
    He arrived just fine
    at the end of the line
    For he could afford to go no farther than Juneau
     
  3. Dcepello

    Dcepello Member

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    No spiting on the floor, it's unappealing
    Read the sign by the man from Darjeeling
    They should have had a bucket
    For this fellow to chuck it
    For he started to spit on the ceiling
     
  4. Dcepello

    Dcepello Member

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    Ina Garten, a sexy wench with a flair
    The ultimate guy's dessert with a pair
    My Creme Brulee is
    said this sweet ms,
    Make it and he'll follow you anywhere
     
  5. Dcepello

    Dcepello Member

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    The family doesn't like steak and kidney pud
    The dogs and I love it more than we should
    Dogs and I at the dinner table
    without a solitaire vegetable
    The wife and kids should stay, if only they would
     
  6. Dcepello

    Dcepello Member

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    man o man if you want to get hosed
    try a bottle of my Wild Irish Rosed
    give Manishewitz
    to old man Lipschitz
    Gaelicing good time, mix them juxtaposed
     
  7. Dcepello

    Dcepello Member

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    Reality TV is all there is to reconnoiter
    Enough crap to turn you into a vomiter
    How many slugs can you eat
    or hey watch me pick my feet
    Cheaper when you don't pay for a scriptwriter
     
  8. Dcepello

    Dcepello Member

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    There was a man who lived in fancy digs
    A fortune wrapping prosciutto around figs
    He had the depression
    wore a sad expression
    All he ever wanted to do was raise pigs
     
  9. Qaterra

    Qaterra Member

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    There once was a girl huge of tummy
    Said she, well that's just not funny
    She went under the knife
    no woe no strife
    now her outlook is really quite sunny
     
  10. Dcepello

    Dcepello Member

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    Billy drank vodka and milk of magnesia
    which hit him like a general anesthesia
    Called a Phillips' screwdriver
    His name he couldn't remember
    It was clear case of Honkytonk amnesia
     
  11. Dcepello

    Dcepello Member

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    Anyone tells me who they voted and why
    I tell them they have all gone a rye
    I cough up phlegm
    And tell them,
    I voted for the other guy!
     
  12. Dcepello

    Dcepello Member

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    Pick pocking a dwarf on skid row
    He thought he could get some dough
    He got some lint
    and a peppermint
    How could anyone stoop so low?
     
  13. Dcepello

    Dcepello Member

    Messages:
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    As I drive to my Tower of Power
    The limo has a built in shower
    Whiskey older than sin
    Cigars that are Cube-in
    Grey Poupon, and I get paid by the hour
     
  14. Dcepello

    Dcepello Member

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    Pluto dog's playtime park
    Underworlds time to bark
    Three headed Cerberus
    Hair lipped Epicurus
    Chimes in mark! mark! mark!
     
  15. Dcepello

    Dcepello Member

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    She is mine, on her behalf
    Our autumn years to graph
    Her parts to thicken
    She's no spring chicken
    But she still knows how to laugh
     
  16. Dcepello

    Dcepello Member

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    His fleas think they own him
    A territorial dispute, prelim
    Chiggers have a claim
    Mosquitoes have no shame
    The bed bugs just want his hind limb
     
  17. Dcepello

    Dcepello Member

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    On my path to Nirvana without fear
    I met a yogi with no veneer
    He taught me mystically
    and statistically,
    "You can't get there from here."
     
  18. Pat99

    Pat99 Member

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    There once was this guy from the Bay
    Who sat and wrote limericks all day
    He showed little decorum
    And got locked out of the forum
    So everything ended OK, ole
     
    Last edited: Mar 19, 2013
  19. Qaterra

    Qaterra Member

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    I borrow from Pat99 on another thread
     
  20. Dcepello

    Dcepello Member

    Messages:
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    Surgery Date:
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    Start Weight:
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    Current Weight:
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    Goal Weight:
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    There once was a woman from Argentine
    Who ate only legumes and the fava bean
    she refused to love to me
    unless I gave her a pea
    The meanest woman to ever benzene