Welcome to the group, Sailor. I had the full surgical open procedure 16 years ago and they took my gallbladder at that time, so I can't speak expertly about the sleeve. But most of us have had very similar concerns to yours, so I hope I can offer you some reassurance. I'm also 5'3" and my highest weight pre-op was in the 260s. I lost 115 pounds in my first 14 months with a long stall for about 8 months. I'm a few days shy of my 72nd birthday.
I did get pretty skinny for a while, but your body adjusts to what you should weigh after a while. I was like your husband, really concerned about how my eating lifestyle would change, and I was positive I couldn't bear the mental anguish or stop eating high-calorie foods I loved. I didn't have to deal with someone else's anxiety, but I had a LOT of my own anxiety. This surgery is awesome, but it is far from the easy way out some people think it is.
My weight has fluctuated slightly, but it's pretty easy to take it off if I gain a few pounds. I was carrying all that weight on my tiny frame for years and my joints were affected, not to mention my self-esteem, which was as bad as it could be, to the point of being self-destructive.
But don't borrow trouble. You're worrying about things that may not come to pass, or won't be as bad as you think. You will be able to keep up your wine-tasting, but this process is holistic, so you'll do best to focus your fears and behavior on your mental obsessions and anxiety. You can start exercising regularly in small amounts, or even do seated repetitions while watching television. You'll figure it out. You may have some hormonal shifts and you may have some stress on your marriage, for sure, but it's important to you, right? You're aware of your husband's needs and already you're concerned about how he might be affected. That's so great.
Consider the fact that these thoughts you're having are all part of the eating disorder that got you here in the first place. Your struggle is as mental as it is physical. In fact, it's the mental battle you're having that's trying to sabotage you with irrational fear right now. I say it's irrational because just reading what you're thinking, you're obviously pretty well-informed already, and you've already had a surgical procedure because you're THAT serious about getting your health back and open up your options to healthy living.
Congratulations on getting your surgical date. Now you just have to go through the emotions and behaviors that are bugging you and make it to your date. You WILL get there and you will succeed. Let yourself relax and see if you can swap positive thinking for your anxiety until you have your surgery. You have a lot of time and you're very motivated. As they say, Welcome to the Losers' Bench.
