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Pema's Thoughts

Today I am going to introduce a new feature to our group. These are the words of the Tibetan Buddhist nun, Pema Chodron.

"Pema's Thoughts" will be the opposite of JudyNY's daily inspirations. You may find them thought-provoking or curious. Simply put, they are her words and you can digest them as you wish.

68

Perfection is like death

We think that if we just meditated enough or jogged or ate perfect food, everything would be perfect. But from the point of view of someone who is awake, that's death. Seeking security or perfection, rejoicing and feeling confirmed and whole, self-contained and comfortable, is some kind of death. It doesn't have any fresh air. There's no room for something to come in and interrupt all that. We are killing the moment by controlling our experience. Doing this is setting ourselves up for failure, because sooner or later, we're going to have an experience we can't control: our house is going to burn down, someone we love is going to die, we are going to find out that we have cancer, or somebody's going to spill tomato juice all over our white suit.
The essence of life is that it's challenging. Sometimes it is sweet, and sometimes it is bitter. Sometimes your body tenses, and sometimes it relaxes or opens. Sometimes you have a headache, and sometimes you feel 100% healthy. From an awakened perspective, trying to tie up all the loose ends and finally getting it together is death, because it involves rejecting a lot of your basic experience. There is something aggressive about that approach to life, trying to flatten out all the rough spots and imperfections into a nice smooth ride. To be fully alive, fully human, and completely awake is to be continually thrown out of the nest. To live fully is to be always in no-man's land, to experience each moment as completely fresh and new.
 
101
Right there in the moment of sadness

When you wake up in the morning and out of
nowhere comes the heartache of alienation and loneliness, could you use that as a golden opportunity?

Rather than persecuting yourself or feeling that something terribly wrong is happening, right there in the moment of sadness and longing, could you relax and touch the limited space of the human heart? The next time you get a chance, experiment with this.
 
98

Living without an agenda

Could our minds and our hearts be big enough just to hang out in that space where we're not entirely certain about who's right and who's wrong? Could we have no agenda when we walk into a room with another person, not knowing what to say, not make that person wrong or right? Could we see, hear, feel other people as they really are? It is powerful to practice this way, because we'll find ourselves continually rushing around to try to feel secure again - - to make ourselves or them either right or wrong. But true communication can happen only in that open space.
 
98

Living without an agenda

Could our minds and our hearts be big enough just to hang out in that space where we're not entirely certain about who's right and who's wrong? Could we have no agenda when we walk into a room with another person, not knowing what to say, not make that person wrong or right? Could we see, hear, feel other people as they really are? It is powerful to practice this way, because we'll find ourselves continually rushing around to try to feel secure again - - to make ourselves or them either right or wrong. But true communication can happen only in that open space.
I struggle with this immensely. I have an agenda no matter where I go out of fear of being judged incompetent or ignorant. It’s tiring. I inflate or demean individuals in my mind to protect myself from rejection (they’re too good to think positively about me, conversely they are an idiot no wonder they don’t accept me). Not exactly 8-fold path “right thinking “ practice but I am trying. Reminder to keep practicing and try to be authentic. Thank you
 
I understand. It sort of leads to this other thought that rattles through my head. It's an AA trope, I'm sure, but I'll rephrase it to apply to food:

"Gluttony" is a poison I take, hoping to kill you.

Sums it up perfectly.

You don't have to follow a prescribed path. Religion and spirituality aren't one-size-fits-all. You're here, proof that you are on a path, seeking. I'm sure I'm not the only person whose grateful for that.
 
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