Personality changes in pre-surg hubby?

[sleepysarah]

My husband is going through the Lebanon PA Veteran’s Admin. bariatric surgery program. We’ve finally gotten a date for surgery (which may change: March 3, ‘20).
He needs to lose wait pre-surgery though.

But he won’t tell anyone why. And he won’t let me tell anyone either. He says I’m being selfish, that he’s the one who needs support! He’s never said things like that before! We’re Christian and I’ve always been his “helpmate”. We pray together and he’s told me about his weight struggles and food addiction. But now he has clammed up. Won’t talk to his family or mine about the surgery.

I need support too! I’ll be his caregiver after surgery. He has a rotten memory... if he wants me to “help” him, I’m going to need some back-up for when I need to rant or just talk about how I feel because he struggles with me, as a woman, being more emotional than he is.
I tried to explain this to him. “You’re not alone in this.” “This effects both of us.” “Why can’t I talk to anyone about this? What if I have struggles too?”

Is this a normal attitude for guys who are pre-surgery? Will he treat me, his wife, like this after the surgery too?

 

[dianeseattle]

Hi Sarah, and welcome to our group. There's a forum on the first page for families of bariatric patients that you might like to read. It's rarely used and the posts are old, but the emotions are real and many feel like you feel.

This is a frequent topic: tell or don't tell? Putting aside your ethos and spirituality & commitment to each other, you have to accept that this is his business. It's private. He's not trying to keep a secret. He's trying to maintain a very private issue without everyone in your circle of friends and family bombarding him with questions and opinions.

Most likely, he's ashamed that he's let himself get to the point where this is his only option. If he were here instead of you, we'd be telling him we've all been there and it's perfectly okay. Then we'd encourage him to remove the cloak of shame and accept what's going on. But we would all advise him to continue to maintain his privacy, because if his veil is rent, his life will fall apart.

There are many Christians here, as well as others of other faiths, and those who believe in something that does not involve god-centric worship. We respect them all and we don't get into theological discussions. But among the Christians, I believe we can all point to moments in our lives when we were shamed or made to feel like we were unworthy of God's love or our parents' love. Religion is one of the many driving forces behind obesity.

Can you give some examples of why you need to tell everyone in order to get support? I told only my son, my ex-husband and his wife, and only because I lived with them and they truly were involved. But of those people, only my ex ever physically supported me. I didn't ask for help from his wife or from my son. And I really didn't need much help. What do you imagine life will be like after surgery?

Is it possible that what is really bothering you is the fact that you maybe feel like you'll be keeping a secret, or even lying to, the important people in your life? And on that note, remember that Christ instructed us to pray privately, in our closet, not raving like pharisees in the town square or the synagogue. As yourself the really important question: what would Jesus do?

Your husband has the right to privacy, and if and when he shares this big news is his choice, and his alone. By wanting to bring others into it, you might breach his trust, and he really really needs you right now. The fact that he doesn't talk about it is a strong statement that something really bad happened to him and even now, he can't face it. He needs time. And he needs to do this his way.

You can't help him if you want him to do things your way. This is not a moral decision. He won't feel better if he just comes out with it & exposes himself to everyone. Do you know what your friends will say? Believe it or not, some will say it's his fault. Some will say he's lazy. Many will ask why he just doesn't go on a diet or get more exercise. Some will tease him. Feeling like a grotesquely fat monster is not unlike feeling you should just kill yourself and get it over with, because you don't deserve to have what everyone else has.

I've been very blunt with you, Sarah, but believe me, I can tell you love him and that your marriage is so important to you. But can you just, for a moment, take all the "shoulds" out of it & think about what he wants and what you can give him? Offer him your confidentiality. Figure out what you're going to say when he starts dropping dozens of pounds. Figure out a way you don't have to lie. When someone asks what's going on, simply say, "Well, he made a decision to change his life. You should ask him about it."

Then get him to start exercising by getting a gym membership, and go with him. Study nutrition and cut his calories 20 percent, then 25, then 50. All the while make sure he continues to work toward a goal of losing weight, because that's what the doctor wants. If he has comorbidities like heart disease or diabetes, those conditions easily explain why he's trying to lose weight. And that IS what he's trying to do. Weight loss is key to arresting disease that will make you a widow.

I had 18 pair of aunts & uncles and 70 first cousins. Do you think I was going to tell them? My cousin's wife had the surgery and that was a freak show. I was so glad they had her to look at & talk about (her failures & weirdness) so they didn't suspect that I had had RYGB surgery (Roux-en Y). They would have said it didn't count, because I cheated and had surgery. And they are mostly fat people who celebrate every occasion with food.

I'd be happy to share my privacy tips with your husband and I support his need not to talk about it 100%. He has to have someone in his life who will do that for him and it should be you. You pledged him your fidelity til death. Can't you make another pledge where only the two of you are involved?

Please stick with us. You'll get a lot more opinions on this. We want to support you, too but this group is really for him. We're on his side all the way and we will praise him when he succeeds and comfort him when he fails. We are mostly women, but there are other men here, and I'll bet he'd love to know that he's not alone in his gender. The men we've had here didn't keep secrets because of some sexist bias that it's "a man thing." It's not. It's America's biggest health crisis because it causes heart disease, diabetes and often, forms of cancer. Set him free from stigma, Sarah. He deserves to live life fully, and this surgery can make that possible for him.

Please click on my photo and go look at my before & after pix. And believe me, I tried hundreds of things before I had surgery and my life only kept getting worse. For some of us, surgery is the only option. And we don't need to feel like some kind of specimen or object of gossip because we took that route.

Stick around. We're gonna love you.

 

[sleepysarah]

I don’t have many people supporting my own struggles with chronic illness. It’s an invisible illness, no one knows unless I tell them. I’ve struggled with depression & suicidal thoughts because I had NO ONE to back me up. Even my husband didn’t understand me.
It took time, but now I know when I go through a struggle, I need support. My husband is a “typical guy”, he doesn’t seek support until he’s desperate. But as a woman, wrestling with a woman’s emotions, I need support.
I never said I want to “tell everyone.” I’m just frustrated that he doesn’t want me to even tell ONE person who can hug me when I cry, listen when I rant, and give me advice.
My husband doesn’t understand why I need support. Ctotally focused on his own struggle, and it blinds him to how it effects me. We are one, as a married couple. What I do effects him, and vice versa, whether we see it or not.
I’m trying not to be selfish. But he has a history of not sticking to things. He has ADD and is very forgetful. He is a delivery trucker so he has crazy hours and poor food choices.
He admits that I have helped him make better choices and keep a routine. But by turning his back on me now, I’m afraid he’ll “relapse” and not be able to stick to the very strict routine facing him.
But I can’t tell him that. How do I deal with this struggle alone? Some Christians would say “just give it to God.” But I believe God has given us friends for support and comfort as we go through the chaos in life. How can I respect my husband’s needs without support? I’ve seen so many comments that say I’m the one being selfish, I need to respect him, I need to focus on his needs... don’t they see that if I crumble, he will too? We married because we saw that we needed each other. Right now he’s acting like he doesn’t need me. I know he’s overwhelmed. I respect his privacy. I don’t want to blab, I just want his permission to have ONE friend that he trusts too, to back me up so I can back him up at my best.

 

[dianeseattle]

Hi again, Sarah. You revealed a lot more in your second post than you did in your first. The fact that you have a chronic illness is very important. I also have chronic depression and suicidal ideation and gestures for which I have been hospitalized 5 times.

I didn't say that you wanted to tell everyone, like taking out a billboard or something. But I did say "everyone in your circle of friends and family bombarding him with questions and opinions." If that is an incorrect assumption, please accept my apologies. I did assume that those would be the people you talk to about this.

And for the record, I do not think that you are being selfish. Anyone who tells you that obviously doesn't know you very well, because you are not selfish. That's just something people say when they are mudslinging.

But those good old standard marital vows keep coming to mind. For better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part. It seems like these vows are necessary for both of you right now.

I think you are too enmeshed to make the kind of decisions you need to make. I believe it would do you some good to practice detachment. I once had a friend who had a husband who went camping with an ex-girlfriend. I couldn't believe it. I asked her how she could handle it She said, I just call four five of my best girlfriends and complain about it and then I go back to my life.

She wasn't worried about it because she knew that they were both committed to each other. They actually spent their anniversary every year deciding if they wanted to stay married for another year. So they were only married one year at a time. But last time I checked they were married for 25 years.

Her stuff isn't exactly my cup of tea, but I have to admire her strength and most of all, how much Faith she has in her husband.

What I Hear in your description of his deficiencies is that you are enabling him. It's like you're covering for him. But I think a wife or a husband can practice empowerment instead of enabling.

An example is that of a toddler who can walk but falls down once in awhile. Do you run over to him and pick him up and pity him? Or do you wait and watch as he rights himself until he is standing again and then takes his next step?. Encouraging him to get himself back into a standing position is an act of empowerment.

He wants his privacy. There is nothing wrong with that. The decision to tell or not to tell is his and his alone.

If a thing that he does affects you directly, then I think you need to stop letting him do that to you.

But his memory problems, his ADD, and his poor diet are all his problem, not yours. He should be working with a medical professional on these things and you should be receiving respite care, especially because you need health support too. You can talk to your pastor or minister or priest or rabbi, and they are bound by confidentiality. They won't be able to blab it around to all the other believers. You can also hire a therapist specifically 4 the purpose of taking care of yourself. That would include talking, crying, hugging, and everything else you need when you feel awful.

Men are just as emotional as women. We were all born with the same set of emotions. How a person expresses emotion is unique to his own personality.

If we take credit for someone's successes, then we have to take the blame when they fail. The fact is it does not work that way. I am thinking you're probably not going to agree with me about anything here, so I'm not going to belabor it. I just want to recommend that same book I recommended to mama bear, "how to survive the loss of a love." It's online and it's free. Also recommended is "codependent no more" by Melody Beattie. He's doing a very hard thing but 90% of what he is doing will be his responsibility. If he doesn't follow the doctor's advice and eat the diet that is going to be assigned to him after surgery, he will fail. And that will be his fault, not yours. If he succeeds, that will be his victory, not yours.

For Christmas buy him a food scale and download a bunch of bariatric friendly recipes online, or by one of the many bariatric recipe books you can find in bookstores. Then say, "Have fun feeding yourself because I am not cooking for you anymore."

I hope you are ready to let yourself off the hook and find a way to practice more self care. you need it and you deserve it.

 

[Brenda2010]

I'm single so can't contribute much to this topic but I agree with Diane that this is your husband's journey and responsibility. What are your fears? Why do you feel you need outside support? I'm just curious because this surgery, while life changing, is relatively routine these days. It is rare for any complications and he'll likely only need to stay in the hospital overnight. Once home, he'll just need to rest for a few days, as if he had a flu. I live alone and was perfectly fine to take care of myself. It will be much less burdensome than you're anticipating.

It's unfortunate that many people have opinions about this surgery, but it's a fact. Obesity is viewed as a choice, the person is lazy with no self-control. There is a lot of shame we carry along with the pounds. Some people view surgery as an "easy way out" which is not true but the stigma is there. So I can completely understand your husband wanting to keep this between the two of you. I only trusted a few people with this, most people in my life still don't know.

We're certainly here to support you. I understand that you love your husband and will worry but rest assured that this surgery shouldn't entail a lengthy, difficult recovery. He should be up walking everyday and should feel better than ever after a few weeks. He'll be on his way to being a much healthier man!

 

[sleepysarah]

Lots of misunderstandings here (expected).
My husband was a bachelor for decades after he divorced his first wife. And he still acts like it. So, until it becomes uncomfortable to the point of physical pain, I let him stew in his mess. Which means I can’t invite anyone over without saying “Ignore the mess... it’s not mine.”
He is not the kind of guy who sees the doc when he has a problem. This is truly his last ditch effort since he couldn’t control his own weight, can’t take meds or do diet plans because he quits half way through. I’m so cynical about him sticking to this, but he doesn’t know... can’t know that.
I believe in “J.O.Y.” For the most part. Jesus, others, you. But I’m floundering because no one believes I should need help when it’s “his issue”.
**My husband does not act like you say guys act. He doesn’t “do” emotions. Mine confuse him. Y’all who claim that guys are “just like us”, go read “You Just Don’t Understand” by Deborah Tannen. Men & women respond to emotion in VERY different ways.

Why do I need support? I’m an intorvert with a chronic illness. We live on fixed income (hence I can not buy books, hire a therapist, get a gym membership, etc.)
I hesitated to write here because few people understand that I’m dealing with my own struggles not to slide into depression and threaten to kill myself. If you’ve never been depressed, please do not respond. You need to be there to “get it”. There was a time when I had anxiety attacks and panic attacks at any trauma. I saw a therapist... all he did was listen. I needed advice, not just an ear. Now I’m trapped by my insurance (Medicaid PA) to who I can see.

There’s sooo much more I want to clarify because there’s so much you assumed that was wrong about me... I am not like someone you bump into on the street. And my relationship is special, close, spiritually & intellectually. We cherish this. We know it is unique.
This is the first time he hasn’t put himself in my shoes too, and he hasn’t even tried to compromise. He can’t do this on his own. The surgery is in Pittsburgh and we live in Lebanon. If you do research, you’ll see that his first post-op week of recovery will have to be spent miles away from home. He wants me to be there, but I can’t stay in their Family House unless he is there, which means when he’s in hospital, spending money for a hotel we can’t really afford.

We are wrestling with things happening months from now, but I can’t even do as the Bible says and “seek counsel” because I don’t want to betray my husband’s trust.
I’m sorry but I don’t think y’all understand the kind of marriage I’ve been talking about, and that is “Key”. You’ve made a lot of assumptions (remember what I’ve mentioned about my own illness and financial restrictions, plus hubby’s past inability to follow directions, stick to a routine, and remember simple things... he’s a not your average guy either... military, substance abuse, divorce, homelessness, finally opening his heart to the Lord ten years ago next year.)
Up into his 30s he was crazy about playing basketball and football. Now he shows symptoms of CTE, & definitely ADD. He won’t see a counselor. He doesn’t like seeing his doc. He stays away from pills (even OTC). He tells me I’m the only woman who ever stayed with him at the hospital when he ended up in the ER before we got married. He was used to one-night-stands, women he didn’t even know the name of, who could care less about him.
He’s finally seeing (after 6+ years) that a woman can sincerely be understanding, compromise, always be there when he gets home, listen when he needs to rant, be his “ezer” (Hebrew for “helper”: what Adam called Eve).

No, he’s not doing this alone. He doesn’t want to. He wants my help. But as my care-giver, he could talk to my dad (my mom has similar health issues to mine.). But as his “care-giver”, don’t I get someone to talk to?

Update: Tonight he let me mention to my mom via email that he’s started a diet “instructed by the doc to prep for bariatric surgery next year”. My mom’s not my ideal support person as she has a myriad of health and personal problems and I don’t want to add to them. But this email shows that at least he’s willing to open up a bit to my parents (his have passed). I mentioned it takes a while (if at all) for hubby to figure out what I’m trying to communicate if I use emotions foreign to him (he says guys like him don’t need a “support group”... but I’m not a guy!). So I need to quit stating my emotions when he asks “why”... I’m going to demonstrate why... by using his own experiences as an example.
“Honey, a few days after you realized how much detailed work and required routine this diet & future surgery will need, did you feel the desire to “tell someone” how it made you feel?” If I know him well he’ll agree. Slowly, with associations to his own feelings, I can help him analogically see what I feel too.
I’ve done this before successfully but not for anything this... big.

Thanks for caring!

 

[dianeseattle]

We really do care and we really would like to help you. At the bottom line, we will support you. That's what we're here for. I can now understand that you are in an extremely complicated situation and I can certainly relate, being a disabled senior citizen on the tiniest of incomes and having health problems of my own.

You have all my respect and that includes the fact that I won't be jumping in and trying to give you any new suggestions on how to deal with your situation. I will simply hope that over time you're able to untangle it so everyone wins.

 

[sleepysarah]

That is exactly what I need! Thank you so much! I pray God will give you strength in your struggles and peace to keep you from being overwhelmed!

 

[dianeseattle]

I am sorry you're having so much trouble with this. It is possible to do. I have done it many times. But it may be that once a member is banned, his profile goes away but his posts do not. This is a job for our administrator, Kevin. If you enter his name into the search box on the main forums page oh, you will find his profile and you can send him a message privately.

In the meantime here are a couple of captures from my phone showing you that the ability to ignore someone does, in fact, exist:

 

[dianeseattle]

I could not send both pictures because I got a message saying the file was too large. So I put both of them on my profile. Just click on my picture and when it comes up click on my name and when that comes up look at the bottom of the frame and you'll see a scrolling bar that says pics on it. Click that and you will be able to see all the pictures I have uploaded, including those two.

 

[Brenda2010]

Many of us here can relate to your plight of deep depression. I have suffered with depression and anxiety since I was a child. Since I choose to self-medicate, I am also a recovering alcoholic. So I completely understand that every person has their own set of circumstances to deal with. I tell you this because you mention your husband has substance abuse in his past. Have you ever looked into Al-Anon? It's a wonderful program to support loved ones of those affected by substance abuse. Even though your husband may not struggle with the substance anymore, it sounds like he has walls up that may be tied to his past. I just wanted to mention the program.

 

[Tauheedah S Hasan]

My husband is going through the Lebanon PA Veteran’s Admin. bariatric surgery program. We’ve finally gotten a date for surgery (which may change: March 3, ‘20).
He needs to lose wait pre-surgery though.

But he won’t tell anyone why. And he won’t let me tell anyone either. He says I’m being selfish, that he’s the one who needs support! He’s never said things like that before! We’re Christian and I’ve always been his “helpmate”. We pray together and he’s told me about his weight struggles and food addiction. But now he has clammed up. Won’t talk to his family or mine about the surgery.

I need support too! I’ll be his caregiver after surgery. He has a rotten memory... if he wants me to “help” him, I’m going to need some back-up for when I need to rant or just talk about how I feel because he struggles with me, as a woman, being more emotional than he is.
I tried to explain this to him. “You’re not alone in this.” “This effects both of us.” “Why can’t I talk to anyone about this? What if I have struggles too?”

Is this a normal attitude for guys who are pre-surgery? Will he treat me, his wife, like this after the surgery too?

I understand your husband that's how I did I didn't need the added stress from and on my Children. I had my Fears my Children found out after I woke up from my Surgery!! We moved forward and never looked back!!!

 

[ebonymc]

I understand your husband that's how I did I didn't need the added stress from and on my Children. I had my Fears my Children found out after I woke up from my Surgery!! We moved forward and never looked back!!!

I'm planning on having surgery as well and also feel the same way. I don't want to tell family or friends. But I do wonder what to say when I start losing weight and they know that I had been hospitalized. I don't want them to think that I'm seriously ill. So what could I say?

 

[dianeseattle]

You can tell them that you are going to start a new eating plan and that is it is medically sound and should result in a significant weight loss.

They took my gallbladder out along with my RYGB. So I just told people the truth. I had my gallbladder removed.

People don't usually want to know the details of your physical changes. They just want to know how you lost weight. Offer to share your eating plan with them.

That's what I did with one of my sisters who was obese and I was hoping it would help her also. Ultimately, she was not able to lose the weight and she died 2 years ago. She was only 5 years older than me.

There's a difference between secrecy and privacy. We are all entitled to engage in both practices. And we are not required to tell anybody anything. But it is a good thing to have a plan.

If I had told them I had surgery, they would have done everything they could to ruin my accomplishments and make me feel like I had cheated to reach my goal.

 

[WazzuCoug]

A note from a guys perspective. Although many guys don't want to admit it, both pre-surgery and post-surgery can carry a lot of strange emotions that some men try to suppress. I can't speak for your husband, but sometimes it's a feeling of being defeated...you (meaning "guy getting surgery") were weak and unable to beat something as "simple" as obesity. A guy might think it is going to "spread from here" now that I've been proven as "weak." There can be a lot of illogical feelings about it. I'm not saying you should confront him and dig into to how he is feeling...that is probably not the best thing to do and would probably just upset him more by exposing his "weakness." There are various forms of this sort of self bashing that guys might go through. It's not every guy, for sure, but I know I went through something like that to the point that I felt at times like I should back out of the surgery and "try to lose weight 'naturally,' again" to prove my masculinity. It's a weird thing. Again, I can't say that's what's going through his mind, but it wouldn't shock me if there weren't things at play along those lines.

He may see himself as the person who is suppose to be "strong" and "providing" and now he may feel he is being put in a position that is completely foreign to him.

In my humble opinion, as a guy, he needs some time and space to sort through these feelings. It's weird, and after surgery it may be weird, but most likely as he starts to lose weight, regain health, get more energy and feel better, it's likely that he will be a better husband and a better person overall. Once he can let some of those things go and really be happy with his decision, he'll start feeling better. It's not something you an do for him, he's got to get there on his own, which may be frustrating at times, for sure.

Of course, you desire to help, support, nurture, and you'll still be able to do that. I don't think you should let him shut you out. That's not healthy either, but I think there is a balance of "supportive distance" when it comes to some guys, especially when they are likely dealing with emotions they aren't sure about.

I talked to my wife a lot about what I was feeling...pre surgery regrets, feeling weak or "unmanly" and on and on, but some guys just can't let themselves go there right away.

I suspect he'll come around. You may need to poke and prod here and there to encourage him to talk about what he's feeling, but he'll also need time to ruminate on this himself, most likely.

I hate painting broad strokes about men or women or anyone, and all I can do it speak to some of the things that ran through my mind, which may not be what he's going through at all, but there might be some similarities.

Best wishes moving forward, I'm hopeful that things will work out as he gets more comfortable with the decision and starts getting healthy after surgery.

 

[ebonymc]

A note from a guys perspective. Although many guys don't want to admit it, both pre-surgery and post-surgery can carry a lot of strange emotions that some men try to suppress. I can't speak for your husband, but sometimes it's a feeling of being defeated...you (meaning "guy getting surgery") were weak and unable to beat something as "simple" as obesity. A guy might think it is going to "spread from here" now that I've been proven as "weak." There can be a lot of illogical feelings about it. I'm not saying you should confront him and dig into to how he is feeling...that is probably not the best thing to do and would probably just upset him more by exposing his "weakness." There are various forms of this sort of self bashing that guys might go through. It's not every guy, for sure, but I know I went through something like that to the point that I felt at times like I should back out of the surgery and "try to lose weight 'naturally,' again" to prove my masculinity. It's a weird thing. Again, I can't say that's what's going through his mind, but it wouldn't shock me if there weren't things at play along those lines.

He may see himself as the person who is suppose to be "strong" and "providing" and now he may feel he is being put in a position that is completely foreign to him.

In my humble opinion, as a guy, he needs some time and space to sort through these feelings. It's weird, and after surgery it may be weird, but most likely as he starts to lose weight, regain health, get more energy and feel better, it's likely that he will be a better husband and a better person overall. Once he can let some of those things go and really be happy with his decision, he'll start feeling better. It's not something you an do for him, he's got to get there on his own, which may be frustrating at times, for sure.

Of course, you desire to help, support, nurture, and you'll still be able to do that. I don't think you should let him shut you out. That's not healthy either, but I think there is a balance of "supportive distance" when it comes to some guys, especially when they are likely dealing with emotions they aren't sure about.

I talked to my wife a lot about what I was feeling...pre surgery regrets, feeling weak or "unmanly" and on and on, but some guys just can't let themselves go there right away.

I suspect he'll come around. You may need to poke and prod here and there to encourage him to talk about what he's feeling, but he'll also need time to ruminate on this himself, most likely.

I hate painting broad strokes about men or women or anyone, and all I can do it speak to some of the things that ran through my mind, which may not be what he's going through at all, but there might be some similarities.

Best wishes moving forward, I'm hopeful that things will work out as he gets more comfortable with the decision and starts getting healthy after surgery.

you're right but it's not just men some women feel the same b/c their girlfriends get jealous and try to sabbotash them. And most husbands feel that other men would give us attention and that makes them jealous too. I also wanted to opt out of having the band years ago and thought I could try a little harder and do it on my own. gastric sleeve wasn't an option during those times, I wish it was an option

 

[ebonymc]

You can tell them that you are going to start a new eating plan and that is it is medically sound and should result in a significant weight loss.

They took my gallbladder out along with my RYGB. So I just told people the truth. I had my gallbladder removed.

People don't usually want to know the details of your physical changes. They just want to know how you lost weight. Offer to share your eating plan with them.

That's what I did with one of my sisters who was obese and I was hoping it would help her also. Ultimately, she was not able to lose the weight and she died 2 years ago. She was only 5 years older than me.

There's a difference between secrecy and privacy. We are all entitled to engage in both practices. And we are not required to tell anybody anything. But it is a good thing to have a plan.

If I had told them I had surgery, they would have done everything they could to ruin my accomplishments and make me feel like I had cheated to reach my goal.

Well, I have had my gall bladder removed several years ago, So if I said that I wouldn't be lying. well, maybe a little white one. My daughter lost 40 lbs in 3 months on the keto diet, I tried it but too much fat for my already high cholesterol and with no gallbladder too many trots.

 

[ebonymc]

Hello! I pondered a bit but have now decided to go through with it. I had my first consult today and Doc made it seem so simple. they do have steps I have to do like all the others including an expensive phyc evail and other things. Now I need 2 fulltime jobs to make this happen although I have 2 insurance coverages

 

[dianeseattle]

Go girl! I'm inspired by your determination.