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Scared to death about upcoming gastric bypass surgery

B

Barbara J.

Member
My gastric bypass is scheduled for October 22, so I'm having the typical yo-yo emotions I figure everyone feels. However, I just received an E-mail from a good friend of mine. She told me a story about a close friend of hers who had all sorts of horrendous complications as a result of the surgery - years worth of complications, and it's not over, yet. She also said she'd heard about many more bad surgery's. In short, she's trying to convince me to not have the surgery. My husband says I'm worrying about nothing. I need your help, though. PLEASE let me know if your surgery was a success or a failure and why. I'd really appreciate it, because I don't want to make a mistake. If I'm worried about nothing, I need some reassurance. Thanks.
 
Dear Barbara,
I had my surgery (bypass) in Aug 09. I was just like you, scared to death. I actually chickened out 3 times before my surgery was scheduled. The only thing I can tell you is, yes it is scary and painful for the 1st few days (week). But I have had NO problems or trouble with mine. I have reached my goal weight but I have been going thru some strees and being cheating. I havent gained any back but have really slowed down at loosing. I tell every one that will listen, if you have good insurance that will cover it, DO IT! It is so worth it. I feel some much better than I did 3 years ago. I have lost about 90+ lbs. It is normal to be scared. If you follow docs orders and do what you are supposed to do following surgery, I dont think you will regret it! I have no rerets what so ever! I am loving the new me and for once in my life, I love being in the loosers club! Good luck to you! Claire :cool:
 
Scared to death about upcoming surgery.........

Hi Barbara, my name is Todd from Louisiana..I know EXACTLY how you feel..You've been hearing all the horror stories about failed surgeries, as I did..You don't hear success stories, until now..I was once 400 pounds, had uncontrolled diabetes, hypertension, sleep apnea, I had one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel..In 2004 Dr. Toby Broussard did the Roux n Y bypass on me and today, 8 years later, I'm weighing 188 pounds and have no more diabetes or sleep apnea, very mild blood pressure problems because of kidney issues..I was so big and unhealthy and Dr. Toby came in and saved my life..I lost 200 pounds by 2006(2 years after surgery) and boy it was in the nick of time..The damage wasdone to my kidneys(due to diabetes,hypertension), I had kidney failure in October of 2006 and had to begin dialysis..When my kidneys failed I became so sick that if I had still been overweight like I was I would've died..Not only did the diabetes damage my kidneys but I had bad problems with healing and my left foot had a small sore on it one day, that progressed to 2 surgeries on the foot that didn't heal well..I ended up getting a condition called "Charcot Foot" and that got progressively worse and I had to have a below knee amputation on my left leg this past May 21st..Today, September 21st(4 months later) I am walking well on my prosthesis..I would be dead by now if not for the weightloss..I'm telling you all of this to forewarn anybody reading this, if you have a problem with weight and you've tried dieting to no avail, have the surgery before diabetes ruins your life..I feel great and I'm happy and thankful for the bypass surgery Dr. Toby did for me..Good luck and don't worry, go for it and become healthy! Todd:)
 
Hi, Todd,

Thank you for sharing your story with us. You are an inspiration!

I hope you enjoy it here. It is a friendly and supportive place.

Let us hear from you often.
 
The surgery I had in May 2012 is a success. I've had no complications. I had complete trust in the doctors and their staff. I was well informed.

And I was still excited and scared. Anxiety was okay until they called me back to undress for the surgery.

The only serious complication OF the surgery that I am aware of is a certain kind of hernia, Petersen's Hernia. It may block the opening from your stomach to the small intestine. If you want details, as a professional. This is very rare indeed. and surgeons routinely close that area surgically so that Petersen's hernia does not occur.

Some people have complications that are not related to the gastric bypass at all: Gall stones, irritable bowel syndrome, etc. Many of us come INTO surgery with other problems, like diabetes and high blood pressure. They're not complications OF the surgery.

This is your body. What are the risks if you don't have surgery? As Todd said, he started out with health problems that improved with surgery. Mine have, too. My medication list is very short! I've lost 75 pounds since the milk diet started on April 9, 2012 with a surgery date of May 8, 2012. As Claire said, you can put it off if you're undecided. It is not reversible. No undo button. Your body, your decision.
 
Hi Barbara,

First off congrats on getting ready to take the first step in reclaiming your life and health. You're not worried "over nothing", you're going to have surgery...that's a big deal. But I've found that fear comes mostly from having insufficient information/unresolved questions. Talk to your surgeon about all of your questions/concerns...that's what he/she is there for. Also most programs have a psychologist as part of the team. Get in there and do the same. Same with support groups, talk to patients who've already gone through it. Shore up your support team...husband, family, friends...not the ones who send e-mails about all the things that might happen; but the ones who are genuinely happy that you're taking control.

And for the record, I was in the same boat that Todd was in at the beginning. From an all time high of 467 with diabetes, high blood pressure, poor circulation...all the usual suspects, including a diminished life-span. I went into surgery this past May 1st @ 412 lbs. Now I'm at 300 and heading south. Off all my medications and facing the biggest problem of which is keeping up with always having to buy smaller sized clothing...which I'm pretty sure I ( and you) will be able to deal with. And yes I did have a complication of my own from the surgery. But it wasn't too serious, and with the quick intervention of the surgeon we kept in front of it and it became nothing more than an annoyance. Point is, I'm far better off for having the surgery & would do it again even if I knew the complication was part of the deal. So research the surgery, ask your questions, and remind yourself that you ARE in fact doing this for your health....rah rah (cheering section)

Good Luck, Peter
 
Barbara J.-I had absolutely no complications after my RNY. My recovery was quick and any pain I had was controlled by medication. I actually felt good enough to go home the second day after surgery but my doctor insisted I stay 4 days in the hospital because I am physically handicapped and live alone so there was no one at home to help me for the first few days.

Ask your doctor about his / her surgery "record". Ask specifically for number of gastric bypass surgeries that he did, how many, if any, deaths as a direct result of those surgeries and how many ended up with serious long or short term complications. I asked my surgeon these questions among many other questions and he was more than willing to give me answers. He actually told me he lost one patient on the table because of a blood clot. This is something that is an inherent risk with any surgery and was not the fault of anything he did. I also replied to your PM regarding your friends E-mail. Hang in there Barbara, it's perfectly normal to feel apprehension as well as a plethera of other overwhelming emotions at a time like this.

Keep posting to let us know how you are doing.
 
I "was" just having (I guess you'd say) the yo-yo's expected leading up to the surgery. After receiving the E-mail from my friend last night, though, it totally blew me out of the water. She was pleading with me to cancel the surgery and went into great detail to explain why. I didn't sleep much last night, because I kept thinking of her note. In fact, I got up this morning feeling like I never went to bed. I've done lots of research and am comfortable with the surgeon who will be doing the surgery. Her letter, though, just messed everything up for me.

I'm so happy to hear positive messages of encouragement from all of you. She's not the one who is experiencing health problems due to excess weight. I'm not happy, either, with the body I'm currently trapped in. I long to be able to do the physical activities I used to be able to do. Thank all of you for your encouragement. I really needed it. In fact, I printed everyone's messages and will read them again each time I get the downs waiting for the surgery. The waiting is a problem, too. Once I received my surgery date, I wanted to have it NOW - not October 22. Thanks again.
 
Barbara, my daughter had gastric bypass surgery 9 years ago at the age of 32 and has done wonderful. You wouldn't be normal if you weren't a little nervous . I am scheduled for my gastric sleeve surgery on Oct 16th. Many of my friends tell me I am crazy but I have finally said enough is enough and I have to lose my weight . I am an Intensive Care Neonatal nurse who is on my feet for twelve hours a day and my knees/legs are screaming. My daughter thanks me over and over for allowing her to have the surgery because she too has a new life with her husband and little children. I know you will do great. If you need support you got it from me. I will be posting after my surgery which is a week before yours. So we will have the support of each other. The biggest thing to me is that you have confidence in your doctor who is doing your surgery. For every bad story there any many successful ones as you see on this support group. Good Luck, Jerseymom01
 
Barbara,

I'm so sorry you've been subjected to this and are now in emotional upheaval. Your friend, who loves you, thinks she is helping you, protecting you. She doesn't realize she is doing the exact opposite. WLS is such a personal choice. Few choices in life are as personal. Nobody else can know precisely how or why you've learned what is best for you.

You have confidence in your research and in your surgeon. You have confidence in your decision to gift yourself with wls. Yes, that's how I see it, a precious gift you -- and only you -- can choose appropriately to bless yourself with.

This is your life to live. Your life to live the best and fullest you can. Know that your friend cares for you . . . and no matter how much she does care for you, she will never, ever, be able to understand precisely how you feel. With your decision to have wls, you are demanding a better quality of life for yourself. You deserve it. Don't let anyone take it from you.

I hope you will take comfort and will find some peace in the support you are finding here. Stay strong and know, in your heart of hearts -- as you already do -- your decision is the right one for you.
 
Hi Barbara, Your friend doesn't sound very supportive but I am sure in her mind she is just trying to help you. We can find all kinds of horror stories on the internet about WLS and you can even read things here where people have had complications but most here said they would do it again. Surgeons have come a long way in WLS and complications and horror stories are few and far between but like with any major surgery there is risk, there is also a risk associated with morbid obesity, high blood pressure, high cholestorol, sleep apnea, and the list goes on with the co morbidty factors that come with obistity, I weighed my risk of dying of a heart attack or stroke or having complications with the surgery, the risk of surgery was far less than dying an early death or a dibilitating stroke or heart attack.

Just thank your friend very much for their concern and kindly ask them if they can't be supportive then you would rather not talk about it with them. So it is ok to be scared, nervous and excited because it is a surgery but you know what the risk is of not doing this and if there were another way it would have worked long ago. Just remember we are all here to support and help each other. :cool: Tom
 
I'm overwhelmed with the support I've gotten from each of you and consider each of you as friends. There's no way I can find the appropriate words to express what your support means to me. After reading my friends E-mail - and before hearing from all of you, I was ready to throw in the towel which would have been a big mistake. Your support has been what has pulled me over this bump in the road. I want to thank each one of you. You've put me back on track. I'm so tired of my back hurting, not being able to physically do what I want to do, feeling like I'm trapped inside this hideous body, feeling guilty every time I take a bite of food - the list goes on and on. Thanks again - Barb.
 
My husband didnt want me to have wls because he was afraid that something would go wrong. Since I have lost almost 100 lbs and feel so much better, he is very proud of the choice that I made. I told him that I was doing it for me and no one else. Like I said before, I am new to this site but I am glad I am here to give and get support to and from all of you. I love reading the success stories. Thank you all for sharing them with us. It is common to feel nervous and scared but I have no regrets. We can all do this together!!!!!!
 
i had my RNY july 5th 2006, before i had my surgery i found out everything i could so that i could be as informed as i could. i joined another site and still belong to it now. it helped a lot to talk to those who went thru it ...for better or worst! they gave me tips for the hospital and i was prepared for the absolute worst.
the day of my surgery i was ready . i did have a problem. i had a staple lift and i bleed out and was in ICU for a week, they had to revise my pouch and made it a bit larger than normal.
i would never go back and would do it again today! education is power , be prepared dont be scared be wary afterward and watch out for stupid hospital personal do the right things...they sent me a hamburger for lunch when i npo and just had the bypass. good luck and welcome to the losers bench.
 
Barbara,

I went through some of the same negativity prior to my surgery on August 30th. I have found some people are somewhat prejudice of Weight Loss Surgery. Even in the hospital I experienced some negativity, and some, "dont they tell you these things before you have a surgery like this" from medical staff. Seriously, some people are not for it. Phooey on them. I had gastric bypass on August 30, and I have done fantastic. I was very sick from the anethestic the day after surgery, which was very unpleasant, but I had zero pain. I didn't take one pain killer ever once I left the hospital. I followed the 10 day diet prior to surgery to a T, and have followed the recommended stages of eating after surgery. I no longer take insulin and my blood pressure is normal. I feel better with each pound I lose. As of today, I have lost 40lbs since I started liquids on Aug. 19. The worst part for me was, not being able to get my fluids in and my protein in at first. It does get easier, and I'm still working on that after 7 weeks. I'm doing much better. Another big issue was the emotional part of not being able to eat food that I wanted after surgery. It was a huge up and down crying, and feeling alone, sort of depression at first. It passed after a couple of weeks. I would assume it is like any addiction that you are trying to give up. I got through it with everyones support. You are going to do great. Just follow all the rules, and follow your heart! Prayers to you.
 
Barbara, YOUR friend is worried about losing her fat friend, worried you will not be the same thin. It is HER problem not yours!! I have friends who have had RNY and NONE of them have had complications! They are healthy, and happy! They all told me they would do it again but they also told me this is not the easy way out. You will never eat candy, chocolate chip cookies, ice cream sundaes etc. But for that, you get healthy and thinner. Of course you are scared, anyone having life saving surgery takes it seriously and doing that tells you that you are not taking it lightly.
You will be fine as long as you have full confidence in your surgeon. You can and should write on the surgical consent form that it is to be "Dr X and Dr X only is to do the surgery and can only be assisted by residents and fellows but at NO TIME can anyone else by considered the operator during your surgery." Surgeons need help and if in a teaching hospital, it is residents who help but what you want to do is make sure your operation is being DONE by your surgeon and not your surgeon talking a resident through doing the surgery. YOU can and should write that and then you are sure of who is doing your surgery. I asked my surgeon and he told me, I need help but I do the surgery, if something goes wrong it will be me who will have to come into the hospital to fix it so I want to do it so no problems. IF you have questions make sure you ask the surgeon, do not feel you should not "bother" him, that is something he wants you to do,ask away.
YOU are going to do fine and we want to hear from you as soon as you are able to get online to tell us how it want and how you are doing.
 
Hi Barbara, I just had my surgery and have had no complications. While in the hospital, my arrhythmia kicked in and the doctors thought I might have to stay longer, but it worked out and I was released later in the day. The arrhythmia is a precondition that I have and was not a result of the surgery. Like most everyone else, I too had my ups and downs with having the surgery done, but I kept coming back to a little man, he'll be 5 in December, not being able to play with his grandpa, because he was too big to move well. Just remember what ever the motivation for your surgery is, whenever you begin to have doubt. I know personally 7 people who've had the surgery and been very successful. I'll be keeping you in my prayers the next couple of days. I know you'll do great.
 
I want to thank everyone for your support and kind words. You'll never know how much they've meant to me. Tomorrow is my "big day". This past 2 weeks have been really nerve wracking. Yesterday, I went to the casino to relax and get my mind off the surgery. I hadn't been there for a couple of months due to the expense. It did me a world of good. For once, the slot machines didn't eat my money up quickly, and I was able to play for over 6 hours. Once I got over the "driving nerves" from fighting traffic on a 6-lane highway coming home, I was like a new person. This morning, I'm looking forward to beginning my new life. There are so many restrictions brought on by excess weight; I'll be glad when I shed the weight and rid myself of them. Thanks again for your support. The forum is absolutely great.
 
Any surgery always has risks. It sounds like you have done your research and trust your doctor. Only you can decide. I am sure your friend is well meaning, just probably not what you needed to hear right before your surgery. Wishing you the best and keep us posted on how you are doing after surgery.
 
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