Hi. I feel lost and alone in this process. I feel like my insurance and surgeon require way more pre-op steps than anyone else I know who has gone through this process. I started the process in January and still have no idea if or when surgery may happen. I’m really getting discouraged. I feel like my weight appointments are more of a disappointment/lecture than a helpful motivating meeting. I don’t have a support system so here I am reaching out to strangers.
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- Thread starter Mkm35
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3momchaos
Member
Welcome! I’m sorry you’re going through this and feel alone. This site is very supportive. I was kind of feeling in the same boat a couple months ago when my surgeons office called to tell me my insurance changed their requirements which was going to add on to my time. I had 1 initial dietician visit, 1 initial counselor visit, and both of those had to approve me before I could even see the surgeon. With the new requirements, I had a total of 8 dietician visits, 4 counselor visits, EDG, EKG with cardiac clearance from my primary doctor, upper GI, abdominal ultrasound (bc I want my gallbladder out at the same time), and a sleep study survey (I didn’t need a sleep study). I have my last appointment this Friday. Your surgery center team should have a number of visits that are required before your information is sent to the insurance. If you are gaining weight between appointments, I could imagine that they might want to do more appointments with you to make sure you’re mentally prepared for what happens after surgery. I’ve been honest during my appointments, I tell them my weight, they ask what I normally eat, my physical activity, but I’m not too honest either. I have no intention of telling them I had 2 pancakes for breakfast today because I don’t do that everyday, I don’t even do that every week! But 90% of the time I eat better. I know after the surgery I won’t be able to eat regular pancakes, and certainly not 2 of them because I’ll either stretch my stomach or throw them up, and I’m not will to make these sacrifices to fail. Why do you feel like your appointments are disappointing? What are you doing to prepare yourself for success? Btw, not being judgy, just asking. This is such a huge process, and you’ve already taken the first steps towards wanting surgery, which is awesome. I almost had a panic attack while the phone was ringing at my surgeons office the first time. I was like, can I even do this? But I can, because I have to. I’m 37, a lot of life left, and I want to be healthy enough to enjoy, not watch from the side or get too tired and sore to join in. I’m happy you are here, we’re here for you, and you are not alone.
Thanks for your reply. I had the psych eval, upper GI, and echo of the heart done in February. Because of COVID I had my sleep study in June and put on a cpap machine. I have seen the dietician twice. Was told I needed 6 weight visits which after my 6th appt they told me I now needed 12 but I knew that was wrong. I clarified with my insurance company and I was right. I had fulfilled all of the requirements but they hadn’t sent it for authorization yet. This morning I had my 8th weight appt. I had been going up and down. I have a lot of issues w water retention especially on hot humid days but they don’t seem to care about that. It just always makes me seem like I’m a failure and not good enough. Today they didn’t even mention scheduling surgery or give me an update on my authorization progress. I was really annoyed and over the whole process that I didn’t ask any questions either. I don’t know how your appointments go but they don’t really offer advice for how to make changes. I enjoyed meeting with the dietician a lot more because she was more comforting and offered tips. I live alone in a new town where I don’t have friends. My family is anti this process so I don’t discuss with them. I recently turned 36. After a 30 lb gain in 3 weeks last fall I hit my breaking point and talked to my doctor about surgery which she highly recommended because she’s followed my weight struggle most of my life. Some days I do really well other days I prefer ice cream. Two of the ladies I know who have gone through this only had to have the medical evaluations and didn’t have to go through weight loss visits pre-op. One of them went to the doctor and had surgery in less than 6 weeks later. I just seem to keep having set backs so I set out to find people who understand the process and the struggle to help find renewed motivation.
3momchaos
Member
That does sound super frustrating. Next visit don’t let scheduling surgery go, just keep asking until they give you an answer. You’ve been strong enough to get to this point, so don’t let it go. Where do you live? It’s super humid where I live, so I have to keep drinking water to help against water retention. If the counselor doesn’t offer advice, which they should, it’s part of their job, then ask them about goals. Have they told you to make measurable goals? I’ve made a lot of different goals on my own, but then they said I needed to make a goal for them. I made mine eating meals slowly and I’d time myself. But I can tell you that you’re not a failure. If you were you wouldn’t be here wanting help.
dianeseattle
Member
Hi, M. If you wouldn't mind giving us your first name it would make it easier and more personal for us to share together.
You are in a very unfortunate and unfair position right now. No one has to go through the stuff that you've gone through in an ordinary ramp-up to bariatric surgery. You've really been tripped up by COVID.
The good news is that you're not talking to strangers anymore. You've told us your very private struggle, and we are all now your supporters and Friends. We can't make your surgery happen faster, but we can give you the kind of support you need to perhaps move your surgery stall along.
It sounds to me like you are not speaking up for yourself. That is probably because you have no support where you live and your family is prejudiced against what you are trying to do. Stay strong. You have already demonstrated that your ability to stick with a difficult decision is stronger than their criticism. You are the one in charge here, not them.
So, if I have that right, I would make a point of speaking with my surgeon and insisting that is has been long enough and you want your surgery to happen. You may need your surgeons assistance to kick the insurance company in the butt. They don't know you. They don't care about you. They're going to pay for your surgery. But in addition to unfamiliarity, they are probably overloaded with patience from the virus.
However, for the last few weeks I have then seeing items on the news and in the newspapers indicating that elective surgeries are happening right now. There's no reason for you to have to wait anymore. You just need to express your desire to move forward to your surgical team. It's very possible that they don't take any action unless one of their patients speaks up and reminds them that it has been too long already and it is time for you to have your surgery.
I hope you can find some support locally but I know it is hard to get a foothold in a strange community. We are here for you online. You might reach out to your Community Resources. Most cities have a pamphlet or flyer that lists resources for people who need emotional or mental support. You can also look on something like Craigslist or other media entities where there are social Gatherings and support groups listed for everyone to find friends or someone who shares their challenges.
It might be helpful to look for a group like OA, where you can meet others and make friends and even socialize outside the group.
If you can't find access to groups like this, perhaps you can go to the library and check out a CD of affirmations. You can put this in your discman or (don't I sound old) you can just download the narration of a self-help book to your smartphone and plug in your headphones and go for a walk while listening. It's beautiful weather now and will continue to be lovely for a while. I don't know where you live but, it might actually always be lovely where you live.
There's no substitute for human contact, but it can't hurt to do as much positive stuff and ask for as much support as you possibly can during this time.
and make a phone call to your and make a phone call to your surgeon, who gets paid for doing surgery, and should want to perform your surgery as soon as possible. Just phone up and say, "I would like to know when my surgery is going to be scheduled."
Make friends with the people on the scheduling desk and the nurses who will return the doctor's call if you have a medical question. If they like you, they're going to work hard for you. They are going to support you because they want to see good things happen to you.
It sounds like you've already gone through so many steps in the process that the only thing left to do is motivate other people to do their part in your pre-op life.
I hope you will speak up for yourself and make that phone call today.
You are in a very unfortunate and unfair position right now. No one has to go through the stuff that you've gone through in an ordinary ramp-up to bariatric surgery. You've really been tripped up by COVID.
The good news is that you're not talking to strangers anymore. You've told us your very private struggle, and we are all now your supporters and Friends. We can't make your surgery happen faster, but we can give you the kind of support you need to perhaps move your surgery stall along.
It sounds to me like you are not speaking up for yourself. That is probably because you have no support where you live and your family is prejudiced against what you are trying to do. Stay strong. You have already demonstrated that your ability to stick with a difficult decision is stronger than their criticism. You are the one in charge here, not them.
So, if I have that right, I would make a point of speaking with my surgeon and insisting that is has been long enough and you want your surgery to happen. You may need your surgeons assistance to kick the insurance company in the butt. They don't know you. They don't care about you. They're going to pay for your surgery. But in addition to unfamiliarity, they are probably overloaded with patience from the virus.
However, for the last few weeks I have then seeing items on the news and in the newspapers indicating that elective surgeries are happening right now. There's no reason for you to have to wait anymore. You just need to express your desire to move forward to your surgical team. It's very possible that they don't take any action unless one of their patients speaks up and reminds them that it has been too long already and it is time for you to have your surgery.
I hope you can find some support locally but I know it is hard to get a foothold in a strange community. We are here for you online. You might reach out to your Community Resources. Most cities have a pamphlet or flyer that lists resources for people who need emotional or mental support. You can also look on something like Craigslist or other media entities where there are social Gatherings and support groups listed for everyone to find friends or someone who shares their challenges.
It might be helpful to look for a group like OA, where you can meet others and make friends and even socialize outside the group.
If you can't find access to groups like this, perhaps you can go to the library and check out a CD of affirmations. You can put this in your discman or (don't I sound old) you can just download the narration of a self-help book to your smartphone and plug in your headphones and go for a walk while listening. It's beautiful weather now and will continue to be lovely for a while. I don't know where you live but, it might actually always be lovely where you live.
There's no substitute for human contact, but it can't hurt to do as much positive stuff and ask for as much support as you possibly can during this time.
and make a phone call to your and make a phone call to your surgeon, who gets paid for doing surgery, and should want to perform your surgery as soon as possible. Just phone up and say, "I would like to know when my surgery is going to be scheduled."
Make friends with the people on the scheduling desk and the nurses who will return the doctor's call if you have a medical question. If they like you, they're going to work hard for you. They are going to support you because they want to see good things happen to you.
It sounds like you've already gone through so many steps in the process that the only thing left to do is motivate other people to do their part in your pre-op life.
I hope you will speak up for yourself and make that phone call today.
Hello Mkm35. I’m 6 weeks post op from a gastric bypass tomorrow. I had to wait a year before I got my surgery. My surgeon told me That I had to demonstrate him that I was really ready and committed to this life change. Don’t get discourage just keep logging In Your food, writing questions for your doctors/dietician, speaking up when you Need to. I remember my surgeon once was not happy bc I didn’t lose any weight In One of my appt with him and it was during the stay at home order. I got so upset and told him off. I was like with everything that is going on you should be congratulating me bc I didn’t gain any pounds. You should tell me how proud you are of me instead of complaining. He apologize and told me he was proud of me. You already started this journey so don’t give up.
Time to have a serious sit down talk w/ your Surgeon & ask him what he expects of U to prepare for this surgery, that U may or ma NOT be doing? Tell him what is going on what U R thinking. Be up front, keep the communication going.
I can say or ask anything to my Surgeon, PA & Dietician. Ask questions.
I hate to say it, but maybe he is NOT the Surgeon for U. I hope that isn't true.
Good Luck.
I can say or ask anything to my Surgeon, PA & Dietician. Ask questions.
I hate to say it, but maybe he is NOT the Surgeon for U. I hope that isn't true.
Good Luck.
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