what happens to the funny fat girl?

[LisaLisa]

I was having an IM exchange with a friend who's going through a divorce and the last things that were said "thanks for making me laugh" and I replied "that's what I do best."

I got to thinking about that. Many of us overweight folks default to humor to make ourselves accepted among the regular sized people. I've always had a pretty good funny bone and can't imagine that dulling; but, my weight has shaped so much of my identity and personality that a sudden change in a large (ha) part of that equation may affect it. Self deprecating one liners won't be appropriate anymore, and frankly should never have been. I guess forewarned is forearmed.

Anyone else notice changes or reactions to your obvious self awareness that expressed itself through your personality? I fully expect my wardrobe to present a new me, but will I be able to keep up with it?

 

[WazzuCoug]

I've already noticed a change in how people in the general public react to me. It's actually sort of a sad commentary on society because I feel like strangers are more open, friendly and chatty as you lose weight. It can feel a bit awkward, like "why are you talking to me?"

I've certainly made lots of joking weight references about myself over the years while I was giving presentations and such, so that's going to have to stop, and you are right, it probably shouldn't have been happening anyway.

It's like we're moving from one set of mental gymnastics to another set. I guess in a way I welcome it because there is way more good that has come from this so far than bad. It is strange though.

 

[3momchaos]

While I haven’t had my surgery yet, my funny bone leans towards self deprecating humor on my mental state LOL I’ve never been one to laugh at my weight bc I always assumed others did. Plus, there’s just too much to laugh at with everything else going on in the world (gotta laugh to keep from crying!), I can take a break from being the punch line for once!

 

[missyinacage]

Honestly, I still feel like a fat girl, so I'm not sure my self awareness has quite caught up. I look in the mirror and I SEE it, I have a lot more energy so I feel it that way but emotionally? Still fat. I have recently noticed that people don't NOTICE me the way they did before. You know what I mean, right? When you're big, everyone takes a second look. Now, I can walk through the store and NOT EVERY SINGLE PERSON LOOKS AT ME. I always wore very bright clothing before. Partially because I like color but partly because if they're staring anyway, I can at least convince myself it's because I'm so stylish (which I was lol). I would layer on confidence with the clothes, like armor. So, I was very aware they were looking. I had to the grocery store the other day and it was shocking to me that I apparently just looked like any other woman grocery shopping in black leggings and a grey t-shirt. No one gaped at me. No one paid much attention to me at all. That wouldn't seem like an emotional adjustment I guess, but it seems like it is. It seems like "Who AM I, now?" Weird, I know.

 

[Bluejay Bill]

This message board has been so nice because I am seeing that the things I am experiencing are not out of the norm for those like myself. I have always liked making people laugh and yes I am guilty of using self deprecating humor. I guess that is another goal I need to have is to not use that so much because in fairness to the other individual I am sure it makes them uncomfortable because if they laugh there is likely a certain amount of guilt involved.

You mentioned the stares in public and how they can be awkward. I think the worst is when kids stare because I love kids and I recently retired from a school district and when they look at me with that look or make a comment to their parents it just crushes me. But I have to be positive and realize that those days are limited and with surgery and hard work I will eventually no longer experience those moments.

There could be no more truthful comment than people treat you differently when you are overweight. Whether it be friends, family, co-workers, etc. I just want to say the person on the inside is the same but the person on the outside is just a bigger model. LOL