Hi all, my gastric bypass surgery is Wednesday, June 3rd. I am currently doing my 7 days of liquids pre-op and while I am super stoked to start a new journey to a healthier, thinner me, I am also a little scared. I have some self doubt creeping into my brain. Anyone experiencing the same feelings?
Excited and scared all at the same time
- Thread starter LDM
- Start date
dianeseattle
Member
Completely normal. In every change we make in our lives, there is a gain and there is a loss. What we win or gain may be exciting and profitable and success-oriented and we feel excited.
But at the same time what we lose is what we are familiar with. We are losing a friend, a refuge, a habit, an old sweater, a cuddly armchair, an excuse not to go out and be social, a protection against being thought attractive, excuses to be different than other people.
The psychological dynamic has become so recognizable that it is called "losing the familiar."
The Familiar can be so comfortable, so reassuring, so normal that striking out to find a new frontier can be as terrifying as getting on a rocket to the moon. It is even scarier because a trip in space always has a planned return. But losing weight and size and power and bulk is a decision we make with no intention of going back, ever.
I have often heard myself and other women say that gaining weight was a way of protecting ourselves from sexual abuse and battery. The theory is that if you were a child who was sexually molested, it was because you were tiny and easily taken advantage of. Getting bigger means stronger and growing huge means being unattractive. It's a flawed theory because rape is not about sex or attraction: It's about control and violence. But we think men will stay away if we are no longer desirable or pretty or beautiful.
that's just one of the reasons why this sort of change is so terrifying. And you don't know what the end result will be. You are walking blind into a whole new world. Or maybe it won't be new and you will have given up everything you loved and your life is worse than it was before.
Losing weight can be seen as an amputation in the worst case. It is not familiar. You can't prepare yourself for the future because you don't know what the future will be.
But you know what the past was and if we didn't get something wonderful and comforting and gooey and fluffy and secure and delicious out of being fat, we would never have gotten there in the first place.
And of course there is the very obvious fear of surgery. This is literally a very minute, infinitesimal reason to fear, as bypass surgery is so well developed as a medical procedure that the possibility of danger is almost non-existent. Still, when you wake up the next day or later that same day, you are going to be living with a new person you never met before and undertaking a new lifestyle you never practiced before.
Virtually everyone here will tell you that it was the best decision they ever made. But they will also tell you they were nervous and Afraid about it. Some people are more nervous about losing what they know than they are excited for what is going to come sometimes the fear of success is bigger than the fear of failure.
You didn't ask for my advice but I'm going to give it to you anyway. Just enjoy it. You are on a roller coaster right now and it's a big roller coaster that goes up really high and plunges down very deep. Let it take your breath away. Nothing you can do will make any difference in the outcome.
If it gets to the point where your anxiety is crippling, ask your doctor for a mild sedative. It is common to be given a sedative before surgery at the hospital anyway.
Congratulations on making the choice to stay alive and to be healthy and to strike out for the new frontier. Welcome to the group and please hang out with us and share your story. You are going to be 100% supported by this group. We'd love it if you supported us back. So keep us posted, and we'll go on this journey with you.
But at the same time what we lose is what we are familiar with. We are losing a friend, a refuge, a habit, an old sweater, a cuddly armchair, an excuse not to go out and be social, a protection against being thought attractive, excuses to be different than other people.
The psychological dynamic has become so recognizable that it is called "losing the familiar."
The Familiar can be so comfortable, so reassuring, so normal that striking out to find a new frontier can be as terrifying as getting on a rocket to the moon. It is even scarier because a trip in space always has a planned return. But losing weight and size and power and bulk is a decision we make with no intention of going back, ever.
I have often heard myself and other women say that gaining weight was a way of protecting ourselves from sexual abuse and battery. The theory is that if you were a child who was sexually molested, it was because you were tiny and easily taken advantage of. Getting bigger means stronger and growing huge means being unattractive. It's a flawed theory because rape is not about sex or attraction: It's about control and violence. But we think men will stay away if we are no longer desirable or pretty or beautiful.
that's just one of the reasons why this sort of change is so terrifying. And you don't know what the end result will be. You are walking blind into a whole new world. Or maybe it won't be new and you will have given up everything you loved and your life is worse than it was before.
Losing weight can be seen as an amputation in the worst case. It is not familiar. You can't prepare yourself for the future because you don't know what the future will be.
But you know what the past was and if we didn't get something wonderful and comforting and gooey and fluffy and secure and delicious out of being fat, we would never have gotten there in the first place.
And of course there is the very obvious fear of surgery. This is literally a very minute, infinitesimal reason to fear, as bypass surgery is so well developed as a medical procedure that the possibility of danger is almost non-existent. Still, when you wake up the next day or later that same day, you are going to be living with a new person you never met before and undertaking a new lifestyle you never practiced before.
Virtually everyone here will tell you that it was the best decision they ever made. But they will also tell you they were nervous and Afraid about it. Some people are more nervous about losing what they know than they are excited for what is going to come sometimes the fear of success is bigger than the fear of failure.
You didn't ask for my advice but I'm going to give it to you anyway. Just enjoy it. You are on a roller coaster right now and it's a big roller coaster that goes up really high and plunges down very deep. Let it take your breath away. Nothing you can do will make any difference in the outcome.
If it gets to the point where your anxiety is crippling, ask your doctor for a mild sedative. It is common to be given a sedative before surgery at the hospital anyway.
Congratulations on making the choice to stay alive and to be healthy and to strike out for the new frontier. Welcome to the group and please hang out with us and share your story. You are going to be 100% supported by this group. We'd love it if you supported us back. So keep us posted, and we'll go on this journey with you.
WWWindy
Member
Me, too. I don't yet have the surgery date. My surgeon is swamped with work so it may be a bit.
I am also excited and scared. I can diet. But can I follow a new eating plan forever? What if I fail? That all scares me.
I am so excited to get this show on the road. My excitement trumps my scared.
We can do it, LDM. We wouldn't even be starting this journey unless we had faith in ourselves and faith in our friends to help us. Even if it is down deep inside. Just reach for it when the fear starts. It will be there.
I am also excited and scared. I can diet. But can I follow a new eating plan forever? What if I fail? That all scares me.
I am so excited to get this show on the road. My excitement trumps my scared.
We can do it, LDM. We wouldn't even be starting this journey unless we had faith in ourselves and faith in our friends to help us. Even if it is down deep inside. Just reach for it when the fear starts. It will be there.
3momchaos
Member
My surgery is a few months away, and there are times when I ask myself, “Do I really want to do this?” I usually ask myself that while I’m eating a donut or after pizza LOL But the answer every time is YES I DO! Not only do I want to do this, I need to do this! My health, physical and mental, depend on a major change, and I am ready! If I could go in tomorrow, I 100% would.
missdarmitage
Member
It is a scary time, but as one talking from the other side.... it's totally worth it! It is the absolute best decision I ever made for myself. I only wish I had done it sooner. There are still times I get cravings (especially donuts!!!!) and I have allowed myself two whole donut holes since surgery 9 months ago. That is more than plenty now. Because you alter the way you eat before and after the surgery, your body thrives on the good food you are eating. When I have caved and had the donut holes, even though they are so small compared to what I used to eat, it is more than enough to make me feel horrible. My body does not handle the junk very well any more. I crave the healthy things now which I would never have eaten before surgery. When I want pizza, I either make a chicken crust or buy a cauliflower crust and cover it with sweet peppers, banana peppers, turkey pepperoni, some siracha, turkey bacon bits, and olives (BTW, cheese pizza was all I would eat before surgery).
It is very scary to think you can't give up the foods you love now. But you may not love them as much afterwards. And even if you do (like me and donuts), you learn to eat it in moderation. You can definitely do this.
It is very scary to think you can't give up the foods you love now. But you may not love them as much afterwards. And even if you do (like me and donuts), you learn to eat it in moderation. You can definitely do this.
Brenda2010
Member
I couldn't agree more. With time, you will adopt a new normal and wish you had done this sooner!
It feels like I can finally be myself after trying to fade in the background the first 44 years of my life! I didn't realize how much I'd been hiding behind my insecurities & disappointment in myself.
It feels like I can finally be myself after trying to fade in the background the first 44 years of my life! I didn't realize how much I'd been hiding behind my insecurities & disappointment in myself.
Thank you all so much for your advice, words of encouragement and support. I am totally committed to making this journey successful. I am not saying I won't have tough days or won't give in to negative thoughts once in a while. I am realistic about this and know that I will have to give 100 %. I am already telling myself that sweets will make me really sick. I hope that if I keep that up, by the time I am able to try something sweet and junky, I won't have any interest. I am so relieved there are others out there that are willing to be supportive. Please know that I will be here to be supportive to all of you, as well. I started my protein rich liquid diet and the Premier Protein shakes make me really nauseated. I was going to go buy something else, but then I thought...no, just keep drinking them. The nausea isn't horrible, just annoying and it is keeping me from thinking about food at all! lol
Brenda2010
Member
