Hi all! I am currently 1 month post-op from RNY Bypass and I joined because I'm always looking for more support groups (the more the merrier, and I like variety).
HW 550
SW 419
CW 401 as of 2 weeks ago
GW 200
Welcome to the group. Congrats on your weight loss so far. How are you feeling?
I think this is the best support group I've ever been part of, regardless of the support I was seeking. It's been very stable and encouraging, and there are many long-term members here. People stick around because we believe in it, we don't fight, there's no sense of competition and no flaming. We want what you want: personal success leading to better health and strong defense against obesity-related secondary diseases.
The best advice any of us get or give is to stick to your medical plan. And if you feel stuck or defeated, talk to your medical team and tell them EVERYTHING, including anything you consider a failure on your part. Low self-esteem is one of the biggest foes of self-improvement.
There are small things you can do to make the experience even better, including:
* putting your utensil down between bites
* chewing each bite until it's liquefied, 20 or more times
* deliberately setting up a designated place to eat, such as a table or tray
* drinking 8 glasses of water every day
* movement, even if it's just walking around your living room or running the vacuum
* zapping negative thoughts by replacing a negative with a positive
* developing affirmations specific to you, IN PRESENT TENSE. So you don't say "I will stick to my plan," but "I am sticking to my plan."
* keeping a journal of your thoughts and then working on them, exploring their depths
The best way I found to develop affirmations (because I was beaten down by negatives from childhood) was by reading this book I've recommended a million times, "The Only Diet There Is." It's not a diet book about food. It's a diet from negative thinking. It was SO helpful to me. And to put it in perspective, I was so filled with self-loathing that I was suicidal several times, requiring hospitalization to stay alive.
If you came out of an abused childhood as I did, with daily beatings referred to as "spankings," you've been conditioned to fail. But you didn't deserve that, and those negative messages came from the abuser's own low self-esteem. I say again, you didn't deserve that. I often look at photos of myself as a little girl and what I see is a beautiful child who loved and wanted to be loved. Unfortunately, abuse in my family had gone on for generations.
That was a great benefit to me, though, because I vowed never to treat my child that way, and ultimately, vowed not to treat myself that way.
We have the power to change learned behavior, no matter how consistently you were abused or insulted or whatever.
Check out the book I recommended. It's online as a PDF so you don't even have to spend money on it. I bought mine, then bought several more copies to share back in the day. It's like a religious experience if you've been brainwashed into believing you're evil.
You are beautiful, and you have the opportunity to share your beauty with others, including yourself.
