I am scheduled for surgery on Feb. 19th, 2013. For me it has been a long journey to this point. (at least it seems long to me) For many years I tried to lose weight and keep it off, I could lose fairly well at first, but it would always creep back. I was extremely confident that I would never need to resort to WLS, that I would and could do it myself. (At least that is what I told myself to make things better) Everyone kept telling me you can lose weight, I have seen you do it you don't need help, you just need to be stronger, have more will power, exercise more, eat less, etc., etc., etc. In my heart I knew each time I tried and the weight loss was less and less that I was fighting a losing battle. I have a very athletic son, who was very critical of me needing aid, unless it was him torturing me with exercises I just couldn't do (I have arthritis in both knees).
I felt like a failure, and like I was letting my family and myself down. It is just losing weight, not rocket science- why couldn't I do it? For years I was basically healthy for a person of my weight other than the arthritis I really didn't have any problems. I tried everything, as most here have I am sure- still nothing. I was without insurance for about 7 years and didn't really have any ideas what was brewing inside me. I started having some hot feet, thinning hair but didn't really think much of it, as I was preoccupied with the illness of my mother and father.
A little over 2 1/2 yrs ago I had insurance coverage again, and in reading the plan discovered WLS was covered, I started looking on the internet investigating and trying to find as much information as I could. In July 2010 I decided to sit my family down and talk to them about it. I got very mixed reviews to say the least. About a week later my mom had to have a surgery and I was taking care of her in my home, I was getting angrier and angrier thinking I just can't do this (not at her- at me, I was barely able to care for my own mother). At this point I had a lot of trouble walking and breathing (oh yeh I have asthma). My mom recovered well and went home, 2 days later she calls that she is having terrible stomach pains so we take her to the ER they dismissed her stomach issues but admitted her with a mild case pneumonia- she insisted her Primary Care Physician find the source of her stomach pains while she was there. He reluctantly ordered a CT of her stomach and chest. She had stage 4 Lung Cancer and died 5 days later.
Watching her die before me, absolutely crushed me, and I vowed not to ever let my children witness me die this way. But depression, guilt got in my way- I floundered for another year getting heavier and heavier, and then finally went to a seminar. I decided that day I would have the surgery and scheduled an appointment with the surgeon. The appoint went well - a little too well. I have BC/BS insurance and they cover the surgery without any kind of wait. Well so I thought - my husband is a member of a union - and the Union BC/BS plan requires a six month medically supervised diet plan, along with several co-morbidity. I was crushed, almost gave up. Tried to find a way around the the 6 month diet restriction (by the way - there is NO way around it). Finally my father talked to me and told me to get off my ass and stop feeling sorry for myself that if I had started the diet, I would almost be done by now. He was right! I didn't have a family doctor so I found one and started on my way - only to find I was diabetic, had high cholesterol, and my asthma was the source of my constant bronchitis and bouts with pneumonia. I started my medications and my diet plan in July of 2012, 2 years after I first decided to have the surgery. I hated it, plain and simple! But I could still hear the disappointment in my fathers voice, pushing me to continue.
I finished my diet plan the day before Christmas, and had my doctor do his testing to release me for surgery. I submitted all my paper work to my surgeon on Dec. 31, 2012 by fax - I think the office was actually closed that day - but I was sending it anyway. They called me on Jan. 2nd 2013 to say that it had been submitted to the insurance company for approval. I sat on pins and needles waiting to see if I would be approved, that went surprisingly quicker than I anticipated, I received my approval letter on Jan 14, 2013(my birthday). Then waited again for surgery date, on Jan. 18th 2013 I got the call - first avail surgery date Feb. 19th 2013. I still have to do pre-op testing and last nutritional consult (all wrapped into one 5hr long apt) on Jan. 31st 2013, finally visit with Surgeon Feb. 11th 2013, and then the finish line and the new starting line Feb. 19th, 2013.
Now I am in a kind of nesting mode - getting house ready, shopping for protein mixes and foods for after surgery. Getting support system set up and making sure everything is ready for when I come home from surgery.
If there is anyone reading this who is frustrated with the process ( I think insurance company's do this on purpose hoping we give up) DON'T EVER GIVE UP ON YOURSELF! Not everyone will agree with your decision, not everyone will be helpful. There will be obstacles in the road, count on it. I have had many people tell me that the surgery is too risky - I simply tell them - me not having the surgery is more risky, without the surgery I will never have a quality of life and I will eventually die an early death associated with complications of morbid obesity.
This is for me first, finally, something for me first. I can no longer take care of everyone else and leave myself to suffer. Regardless of the outcome of my surgery I KNOW this is the right thing to do. And I look at this as a blessing and a chance to lead a more normal and productive life.
I felt like a failure, and like I was letting my family and myself down. It is just losing weight, not rocket science- why couldn't I do it? For years I was basically healthy for a person of my weight other than the arthritis I really didn't have any problems. I tried everything, as most here have I am sure- still nothing. I was without insurance for about 7 years and didn't really have any ideas what was brewing inside me. I started having some hot feet, thinning hair but didn't really think much of it, as I was preoccupied with the illness of my mother and father.
A little over 2 1/2 yrs ago I had insurance coverage again, and in reading the plan discovered WLS was covered, I started looking on the internet investigating and trying to find as much information as I could. In July 2010 I decided to sit my family down and talk to them about it. I got very mixed reviews to say the least. About a week later my mom had to have a surgery and I was taking care of her in my home, I was getting angrier and angrier thinking I just can't do this (not at her- at me, I was barely able to care for my own mother). At this point I had a lot of trouble walking and breathing (oh yeh I have asthma). My mom recovered well and went home, 2 days later she calls that she is having terrible stomach pains so we take her to the ER they dismissed her stomach issues but admitted her with a mild case pneumonia- she insisted her Primary Care Physician find the source of her stomach pains while she was there. He reluctantly ordered a CT of her stomach and chest. She had stage 4 Lung Cancer and died 5 days later.
Watching her die before me, absolutely crushed me, and I vowed not to ever let my children witness me die this way. But depression, guilt got in my way- I floundered for another year getting heavier and heavier, and then finally went to a seminar. I decided that day I would have the surgery and scheduled an appointment with the surgeon. The appoint went well - a little too well. I have BC/BS insurance and they cover the surgery without any kind of wait. Well so I thought - my husband is a member of a union - and the Union BC/BS plan requires a six month medically supervised diet plan, along with several co-morbidity. I was crushed, almost gave up. Tried to find a way around the the 6 month diet restriction (by the way - there is NO way around it). Finally my father talked to me and told me to get off my ass and stop feeling sorry for myself that if I had started the diet, I would almost be done by now. He was right! I didn't have a family doctor so I found one and started on my way - only to find I was diabetic, had high cholesterol, and my asthma was the source of my constant bronchitis and bouts with pneumonia. I started my medications and my diet plan in July of 2012, 2 years after I first decided to have the surgery. I hated it, plain and simple! But I could still hear the disappointment in my fathers voice, pushing me to continue.
I finished my diet plan the day before Christmas, and had my doctor do his testing to release me for surgery. I submitted all my paper work to my surgeon on Dec. 31, 2012 by fax - I think the office was actually closed that day - but I was sending it anyway. They called me on Jan. 2nd 2013 to say that it had been submitted to the insurance company for approval. I sat on pins and needles waiting to see if I would be approved, that went surprisingly quicker than I anticipated, I received my approval letter on Jan 14, 2013(my birthday). Then waited again for surgery date, on Jan. 18th 2013 I got the call - first avail surgery date Feb. 19th 2013. I still have to do pre-op testing and last nutritional consult (all wrapped into one 5hr long apt) on Jan. 31st 2013, finally visit with Surgeon Feb. 11th 2013, and then the finish line and the new starting line Feb. 19th, 2013.
Now I am in a kind of nesting mode - getting house ready, shopping for protein mixes and foods for after surgery. Getting support system set up and making sure everything is ready for when I come home from surgery.
If there is anyone reading this who is frustrated with the process ( I think insurance company's do this on purpose hoping we give up) DON'T EVER GIVE UP ON YOURSELF! Not everyone will agree with your decision, not everyone will be helpful. There will be obstacles in the road, count on it. I have had many people tell me that the surgery is too risky - I simply tell them - me not having the surgery is more risky, without the surgery I will never have a quality of life and I will eventually die an early death associated with complications of morbid obesity.
This is for me first, finally, something for me first. I can no longer take care of everyone else and leave myself to suffer. Regardless of the outcome of my surgery I KNOW this is the right thing to do. And I look at this as a blessing and a chance to lead a more normal and productive life.
