Hi Alifair and welcome to the group. It took me just over a year from the time I decided to go ahead with the surgery until I finally had it done on Oct 17th. It was definitely a rollercoaster ride, but what you are experiencing is normal. Everyone I've talked to was alternately scared and excited or both at the same time. The best weapon to keep the lows from becoming too low, is to learn as much as you can, ask questions, talk to your family and friends that support you and of course post here. I found this site after my surgery, so I missed out on some great info. In the General Forum there are three posts, called "Things I wish I'd known" They are very informative and will be a great help. I found many of my initial concerns listed in there, they prompted several questions. I know that I and several people I know are worried about the possibility of failure, but without the possibility of failure there can be no hope for Victory. My outside motivation is my three grandsons, making sure I'll be around for a long time.
Good luck and keep in touch.
Good luck,