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Just got the call...now I’m nervous.

Jenn L

Member
The hospital just called to tell me what time to arrive tomorrow.

We should be there to register at 8:30 and the surgery is scheduled for 10:30.
I’ve been completely on program up to this point and doing well emotionally too. However, I’d be less than honest if I didn’t say I’m starting to feel nervous.

Our 16 year old daughter will be with us tomorrow and since it’s Valentine’s Day, I was wrapping presents to give her since she will be there the whole time with us. I couldn’t stop myself from thinking these are the last gifts I could ever wrap for her. Part of me knows how dramatic that sounds but it was a genuine overwhelming thought that was hard to let go of.

My highest weight was 541 ( April 2019), I’m at 450 now (probably less after this two week liquid diet I’ve been on). Even with that progress, I’m still deemed high risk. I know that this is the right thing to do...but part of me is so scared. On the other hand I know several people my size that have had gastric bypass and did just fine.

I don’t want to share that with her or my husband because I don’t want to cause them more worry then they already have. My poor husband would be lost without me. My daughter would persevere but would feel the need to be strong for him. Since I don’t want to upset them, I’m dumping my feelings on guys. I know I will shake this off....I just had to get it off my chest and out of my head.

Thanks for listening.
 
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Jenn, you are right on schedule with your stage fright. I don't have your details at my fingertips--RYGB or VSG? Open or laparoscopic?

You're going to be fine, just like the tens of thousands of people who had this procedure before you over the last 20+ years. You've been doing everything that's been required of you to get to this day. Even if you didn't comply perfectly, that doesn't matter. I did NO PREP at all before my surgery. I had an open procedure plus gallbladder removal and recovered 100 percent from my surgery, losing 115 pounds over 14 months. Your contemporaries here since you signed on have done even better than that, but the most worrisome thing about the experience is your ability to comply post-surgically.

And worrisome is about the most extreme word I'd use, because, based on my experience and almost a year of reading the experiences of the people here, no one has been in mortal danger. You aren't going to die or have severe complications. No doctor would even discuss this surgery with you if you weren't physically cleared for it.

Consider the fact that there's a different loss driving your fears and sense of absence right now: you are never going to be the same again. You're having surgery to drive a huge change, the loss of a few-hundred pounds. You'll be a different person who looks different and feels different and your comfort zone is going to shrink along with your body. You won't have excuses to eat, you'll be right up against your emotions and traumas with no padding, people may suddenly have higher expectations from you.

Just breathe, deeply, in and out, and say affirmations to yourself about your new life. You have chosen this and your family is supporting you. As you've already indicated, this is a real Valentine's Day present.

If you still have white knuckles, that's okay too. They won't change anything about the rest of your body. You'll still go to the hospital, you'll still have the surgery, you'll still start life anew, you'll still have a strong commitment to health. Go through the post-op posts here, 1+ years following surgery, all the stories people tell, all the photos in all the albums members keep online, or just take a nap, go for a walk, have a good cry, call a friend, watch an inspiring movie--it doesn't matter how you pass your time. Everything is already all right. Everyone will be waiting to hear your story on the other side.

2469
 
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