Face-to-face support isn't always as good as you can get online. Not for nothing, but this group will answer any question you have. You need to spend some time searching through the old posts for a couple of years worth of posts. Don't go back Beyond 2017. Surgical procedures and treatments change very quickly in this world. So stay as close to current as possible. Do a search for the word "scared" and you will probably find many people with the same problem. I don't think you have been really reading all the posts here because you asked questions that have already been answered. So have a look, do a search, take your time. You will find the answers.
But in the end it will only matter if you can cover overcome your fear or not. But believe it or not a lot of people here have been terrified up until the moment they got their first sedative prior to Anesthesia in the hospital.
You can be terrified and still have the surgery. Just put one foot in front of the other and make a promise that you will not back out no matter what.
Let us support you. It's what we live for! Well you like it too