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Surgery Date July 14th! Freaking Out

Each of us has a different set of support teams. In my case, I have been lucky to have 3 sisters, one son and a bunch of friends who have been great in support. Another son is fine with it, but not much either way. A third son hasn't been supportive about it but he's somewhat dismissive about the surgery (just go to a gym everyday and go running).

Talk with those you trust, their support will help you get through the bad days. This site will also help you out.
 
I totally understand! I'm scheduled for July 20th and just started telling people about a week ago. The reactions blow my mind. I knew I'd get a lot of negativity from family members. I was right. People say things like "But how do you qualify you're not even THAT big" Ok..... or "Why don't you go on WW??" Um, sure because I've been on WW several times in my life. or.... "Join a gym" "start walking regularly" Hmmmm… sure, except I get so out of breath and dizzy carrying this weight and my feet are stressed. or.. "If you want to get off all of your blood pressure meds just take some garlic supplements and <<insert idea>>" And my favorite was "My daughter had it done, lost almost 100 lbs and gained it all back." Even my husband is a bit negative about it. (mainly because I had emergency in March and they took out an ovary, when I was in for an appendectomy, so he is nervous) BUT I'm getting support from people I did not think would understand or support it. I'm also leaning on people I know that have gone through the surgery. The support groups help if you have one nearby. You know in your heart what is best for YOU and your health. If it means not telling anyone else until you've gone through with it, then don't tell anyone else that you don't absolutely have to tell.
 
Remember a few things.

  1. The surgery exists for people who could not lose weight any other way.
  2. This surgery is blessed by insurance companies and is fully paid for as a cure for obesity and comorbidities.
  3. This surgery has been perfected over the past several decades it has existed.
  4. Opinions are like assholes. I'm going to leave the rest of that for other people to look up the quote.
  5. It's no one's damn business but yours.

I am proud of you and I know everyone else here is proud of you. This is a brave move a lot of people don't understand and wouldn't have the courage to take. we are here to support each other and we know the truth of the matter when it comes to bariatric surgery.
 
Athomp said:
I am getting pretty nervous. Haven't told anyone in my family except my husband (he kinda has to know). Anyone else deal with these kinds of nerves? I am just concerned they won't be supportive and will try and talk me out of it.
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There are two people in the world you need approval from: your doctor and yourself. Well, and the psychologist, nutritionalist, insurance underwriters, primary care doctor...but you know what I mean.

Everybody else is a bystander.

If you are concerned that some loved ones & friends will be disgusted at your "failure" to diet, to be normal - and at your choice to take the easy way out, you are correct. If you are worried people will talk about you in low tones while shaking their head, yuuuuup. And a year later, they will still be talking about you wondering if you can keep it off, how great you are looking and how much more are you going to lose? Thats what people do.

Bystanders, all of them.
 
Welcome!! Congrats on making this fantastic journey for yourself. I told my husband, kids, mom, sisters, and best friends. They all reacted positively. But I’m the kind of person who can tell others to kick rocks if they don’t agree with something I’m doing to benefit my health. So, I’ve been pretty open about it with others I’m not as close to. I’m proud of the path I’ve chosen to better health, and I don’t let anyone dull my sparkle ;)
 
Athomp said:
I am getting pretty nervous. Haven't told anyone in my family except my husband (he kinda has to know). Anyone else deal with these kinds of nerves? I am just concerned they won't be supportive and will try and talk me out of it.
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I just had my surgery on Monday and I can definitely understand being nervous! I also did not tell anyone, with the exception of my immediate family. Some of my family (my dad) was not supportive, but honestly I had worked so hard and done so much research that his objections were rooted in ignorance and fear. When you know this is the right decision for you, the power others have over you fades away. The ones who truly love you will only want what’s best for you :) good luck and so excited for you!
 
Thanks everyone for the kind and helpful responses! I actually ended up having my surgery date moved to last Tuesday. So I'm 5 days post op now. There is no doubt in my mind this was the right choice for me. I feel at ease in a way I haven't in a long time.
 
Athomp said:
Thanks everyone for the kind and helpful responses! I actually ended up having my surgery date moved to last Tuesday. So I'm 5 days post op now. There is no doubt in my mind this was the right choice for me. I feel at ease in a way I haven't in a long time.
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This is so awesome! How are you feeling now? I'm hoping I have that sense of peace afterwards too.
 
Blima rubin said:
Can anybody tell me a little abt the post op day. Very painful? Gassy?
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Post-op varies quite a bit from person to person. The first 24hrs is somewhat painful but not as bad as having an open surgery. I was able to get up without assistance (log roll technique) almost immediately. You'll have some decent drugs on board while in the hospital. I found that the pain reduced greatly every day. It took me about 9 days to become mostly pain free and at two weeks I didn't have any pain issues at all. Walking really seemed to help speed everything along, including gas pain. The gas they use during surgery has to work its way out through your shoulders, so placing a heating pad across your shoulders helps with that pain. They did that for me in the hospital and I continued it at home for a couple of days and then I didn't have any more issues. As far as GI gas goes, I wouldn't say I was any worse than pre-surgery and perhaps better now. It seems normal, but I guess I'm not sure what normal is. lol! I burped quite a bit as I started eating purees.

Some people have more or less pain and more or less gas. I think it's kind of hard to predict, but you'll probably have some of both. Again, they told me walking as soon as possible would help, and I truly believe it did. I increased my walking every day as much as I could, and it really seemed to move things along quickly.
 
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