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The Struggle Is Real

Hi!

I'm Matthew and am 1.5 years out from Gastric Bypass. I lost 90 – 100 lbs. And yes, that's great. But I haven't lost weight in about 8 months and have been enjoying life. Carbs, wine, no exercise, and COVID is a recipe for disaster. I held steady for 6 months, but the past 2, I gained 17 lbs. And I know how this goes, this story is as old as time: first 17, then 30, then 100, or more.

I started seeing a therapist and am going to start seeing an emotional-centric nutritionist. I started tracking my food and weighing myself every day again. And I've joined this support group.

My husband, Timothy, also had surgery the same time as me and lost 150 lbs with ease, and we eat and drink very similar things. He has a much smaller frame, but still, any time we see anyone we haven't seen in a while, the response is always the same: "Timothy, you're so thin! You look so good!" Wah-wah. I'm super proud of him, but that recurring situation doesn't give me the warm fuzzies, if you know what I mean.

Open book! I have anxiety, depression, serious body dysmorphia—the overweight mental trio!

Need accountability, tips, tricks, words of encouragement, friends, advice—anything you can throw at me. My next appointment with my doctor is in 6 weeks and I'd love to be down to 225. 20 lbs, 6 weeks, crazier things have happened.

This is my victory lap and I'm pulling out all the stops—I have to. :)
 

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Congratulations on your weight loss. That is fantastic. And it's great that you're getting right back on the program instead of allowing yourself to continue down the old path. For me, weighing and tracking what I eat/drink is the most important thing for success. That will keep you accountable to yourself. Welcome and be sure to keep us posted!
 
Welcome! Your weight loss has been amazing!! I think seeking help and support is hard, but you took a step in the right direction by recognizing that you needed that boost. That’s awesome. Don’t forget your accomplishments though. You’ve done incredible things for your health. Be proud of yourself for your work so far ;)
 
Hi Matthew,
I am Pamela and I am new to this group; this is actually my first time posting anything, I just want to say congrats on your willingness to accept your need for help.
I had the sleeve in 2017, got down to my goal weight. But since COVID hit, my wife was laid-off from work, we cooked and snacked more, drank more wine and I gained 20lbs. Not being able to go to the gym for my daily water aerobics has not helped either. I have been beating myself with a stick emotionally because of it. I also just found out my minor hiatal hernia is now major, and my only option is a revision to the bypass to have the hernia repaired. I am even more bummed out. I do not want to have to go through all of that again, but I cannot live like this. The pain and discomfort from the hernia is driving me bonkers.
Enough about me. You can do this; you are on the right track. Anxiety and depression are my enemies, too, but we can beat them. I am glad to hear you are seeing a therapist. I have never heard of an emotional-centric nutritionist, that sounds amazing. I might have to look into finding one :)
With all of that being said stay positive, you can do this!
 
Hi Matthew,
I am Pamela and I am new to this group; this is actually my first time posting anything, I just want to say congrats on your willingness to accept your need for help.
I had the sleeve in 2017, got down to my goal weight. But since COVID hit, my wife was laid-off from work, we cooked and snacked more, drank more wine and I gained 20lbs. Not being able to go to the gym for my daily water aerobics has not helped either. I have been beating myself with a stick emotionally because of it. I also just found out my minor hiatal hernia is now major, and my only option is a revision to the bypass to have the hernia repaired. I am even more bummed out. I do not want to have to go through all of that again, but I cannot live like this. The pain and discomfort from the hernia is driving me bonkers.
Enough about me. You can do this; you are on the right track. Anxiety and depression are my enemies, too, but we can beat them. I am glad to hear you are seeing a therapist. I have never heard of an emotional-centric nutritionist, that sounds amazing. I might have to look into finding one :)
With all of that being said stay positive, you can do this!
Thank you for responding! I'm sorry to hear about your hernia and needed revision—that sucks, but will be worth it! And thanks for the support! I hadn't ever heard of that kind of nutritionist either, but apparently she and my regular therapist tag-team eating disorder and bariatric patients. I might have made up that term, but that is what she claims to be! I'll have to let you know how it goes!
 
Welcome Pamela and Matthew! Your stories are great and detailed and describe the struggle perfectly. Because of your honesty, you will succeed. It might not go as quickly as you hope, so please bear that in mind.

Although I have managed to maintain my weight within 20 lb for 13 years, the pandemic has hit me too. I was really disappointed to see that I had gained 10 lb the last time I went to see my doctor a few weeks ago. I also noticed a few days ago that I am retaining water and have pretty serious case of foot and ankle edema.

So I went for a short walk yesterday and managed to set up some furniture so that I can keep my legs elevated. Today I am counting my protein grams and ready to get back on track. But I know, even for me, it is going to be extremely difficult. It is more difficult if you're way out from surgery because your stomach is bigger and you just don't have the same lack of hunger hormones that you had when things were new.

We are here to support you and you already know what to do to make things change. I would simply add one thing: never compare yourself to anyone else. You are a unique person and in order to succeed, you need to speak to your unique responses and needs.

However, I think it's important to speak to your partners and ask them to support you by not eating or drinking excessively, even if they can. If I had a partner and this was happening to us. I would ask him to please follow the same diet that I'm following and to help me with affirming statements and encouragement. A major element of relationship is supporting your partner. And you need to do this at home and in person with your partner 24/7. It'll help you a lot more than any support group can.

There's one more thing that you could and should do. Start keeping a food diary and make sure that you only eat the foods that you have identified as being appropriate for your plan. Use a scale and measuring tools and write everything down. When you hit your daily protein goals, stop eating. And if you are not drinking 64 oz. or more of water every day, focus on that. Water accelerates weight loss.

Even walking one revolution around your house we'll burn some calories and help with weight loss.
 
I have been surfing through lots of old posts throughout the forum, there is lots of support on here and that is amazing. Sad to see the ones that make one question posts and then disappear. There is so much information on here, I wish I had been on this forum before my sleeve. Thankfully I have found it now that I have to go through the conversion.
Thank you for all of the supportive comments dianeseattle, it is all very encouraging. My wife has been very supportive through my whole journey and feels so bad that I am suffering so much with this hiatal hernia. We are both upset that I have to go through another surgery, but she will continue to support me. Her being home during the quarantine was the first time I let myself slip from all the "good" habits I had picked up over the past few years.
Matthew, I hope you are doing well today and thanks for the comment about my upcoming revision. I am sure it will all be for the best.
I have not heard from my surgeon about a date yet. We were supposed to do it after my camping/fishing trip in a couple of weeks. I wanted to have a least one outdoor activity under my belt for this year before the surgery. I have to have it done at the Army Hospital (I am a Veteran) and the Post Commander just shut down elective surgeries again due to the Coronavirus resurge. He is arguing with them because my surgery this time is not elective, it is medically necessary, so we will see.
I just want to say thanks to everyone that is continuing in this whole forum, I have am getting lots of little nuggets of wisdom and information for my continued journey.
Have a good day everyone.
 
Welcome Pamela and Matthew! Your stories are great and detailed and describe the struggle perfectly. Because of your honesty, you will succeed. It might not go as quickly as you hope, so please bear that in mind.

Although I have managed to maintain my weight within 20 lb for 13 years, the pandemic has hit me too. I was really disappointed to see that I had gained 10 lb the last time I went to see my doctor a few weeks ago. I also noticed a few days ago that I am retaining water and have pretty serious case of foot and ankle edema.

So I went for a short walk yesterday and managed to set up some furniture so that I can keep my legs elevated. Today I am counting my protein grams and ready to get back on track. But I know, even for me, it is going to be extremely difficult. It is more difficult if you're way out from surgery because your stomach is bigger and you just don't have the same lack of hunger hormones that you had when things were new.

We are here to support you and you already know what to do to make things change. I would simply add one thing: never compare yourself to anyone else. You are a unique person and in order to succeed, you need to speak to your unique responses and needs.

However, I think it's important to speak to your partners and ask them to support you by not eating or drinking excessively, even if they can. If I had a partner and this was happening to us. I would ask him to please follow the same diet that I'm following and to help me with affirming statements and encouragement. A major element of relationship is supporting your partner. And you need to do this at home and in person with your partner 24/7. It'll help you a lot more than any support group can.

There's one more thing that you could and should do. Start keeping a food diary and make sure that you only eat the foods that you have identified as being appropriate for your plan. Use a scale and measuring tools and write everything down. When you hit your daily protein goals, stop eating. And if you are not drinking 64 oz. or more of water every day, focus on that. Water accelerates weight loss.

Even walking one revolution around your house we'll burn some calories and help with weight loss.
Thank you! Great advice! Congrats for keeping your weight off—that's amazing to hear. And I'm sorry to hear about your setback, but sounds like you're doing well!
 
Thank you again, Matthew and Pamela. You both sound like awesome people. I hope you can hear that, too. You're on the right track and you're both really lucky to have the necessary skills to make marriage work. If you can do that, you can succeed with weight-loss surgery.

Just keep your mates in check and don't take any abuse or criticisms. Remind them how important they are to you. You're focusing on yourself now because you have to, but if you can let them in, they'll focus on you, too. No one can hurt you more than someone you love. And no one can love you more than someone who loves you.

I hope you'll stick around because you can also offer support and encouragement to everyone here, old-timers or newbies. Hearing a new voice is better than any gooey junk food you can eat.
 
p.s. I forgot to say: if you don't feel strong enough to go back to your eating plan, try consuming 50 percent less food and wine, etc. You can literally put your foods on a plate or in a bowl and them physically remove half of it. You still get to eat the food you're craving.

Just make sure you put that 50 percent in the garbage can immediately. That is a statement that you are choosing an actual garbage can, not turning yourself into one.
 
Hi!

I'm Matthew and am 1.5 years out from Gastric Bypass. I lost 90 – 100 lbs. And yes, that's great. But I haven't lost weight in about 8 months and have been enjoying life. Carbs, wine, no exercise, and COVID is a recipe for disaster. I held steady for 6 months, but the past 2, I gained 17 lbs. And I know how this goes, this story is as old as time: first 17, then 30, then 100, or more.

I started seeing a therapist and am going to start seeing an emotional-centric nutritionist. I started tracking my food and weighing myself every day again. And I've joined this support group.

My husband, Timothy, also had surgery the same time as me and lost 150 lbs with ease, and we eat and drink very similar things. He has a much smaller frame, but still, any time we see anyone we haven't seen in a while, the response is always the same: "Timothy, you're so thin! You look so good!" Wah-wah. I'm super proud of him, but that recurring situation doesn't give me the warm fuzzies, if you know what I mean.

Open book! I have anxiety, depression, serious body dysmorphia—the overweight mental trio!

Need accountability, tips, tricks, words of encouragement, friends, advice—anything you can throw at me. My next appointment with my doctor is in 6 weeks and I'd love to be down to 225. 20 lbs, 6 weeks, crazier things have happened.

This is my victory lap and I'm pulling out all the stops—I have to. :)

my gastric bypass was 1/23/19. I have plateaued and am frustrated. Sure I’ve love 120+ pounds but know would feel even better losing more. It is frustrating and then with COVID happening. That didn’t help any. All I can do is keep trying to do better each and every day.
 
Hi I am Terri and had the switch done on June 24 in RI . I am sore but looking forward to turning 60 at the end of the month and celebrating our daughters wedding in May. I did not do this to be a model I did it to be healthy and enjoy grandchildren and retirement with my husband. I want to hike enjoy and be able to move. I am down 20 and hope to continue this journey with all the support I can give and receive.
 
Welcome, Terri!

I would love to hear about your switch experience, from the day you decided to do it to the day the doctor scheduled it all the way to this moment.

Did your surgeon tell you about the benefits of switch over RYGB?

So nice to have a DS person here! I'm dying to hear your story.
 
my gastric bypass was 1/23/19. I have plateaued and am frustrated. Sure I’ve love 120+ pounds but know would feel even better losing more. It is frustrating and then with COVID happening. That didn’t help any. All I can do is keep trying to do better each and every day.
That is a huge weight loss. How close are you to your goal? You've lost 120 in 17 months, and now you're on a plateau. I lost 115 pounds in 14 months but I also had a long plateau. I got out of it by scheduling a hike to the top of a 6600 foot mountain. After that, the weight just melted off until I was TOO skinny. At least, that's what my mom said.

What is COVID doing to you to prevent you from getting off that plateau?

I just shared this with another member, but I'm thinking you might want to read it:


2965
 
Well, I just heard from the surgeon. We are now looking at a few more months before my surgery because of the resurgence of COVID. I am number 1 on his to- do list because of all of the complications I am having with my hiatal hernia. I did find out I do not need to do the liver shrinking diet again. so, as soon as inpatient surgeries open back up they will call me to get me in. Bummed, but ok. I was getting nervous, lol. I will keep checking in on this forum to see how everyone is doing.
 
Well, I just heard from the surgeon. We are now looking at a few more months before my surgery because of the resurgence of COVID. I am number 1 on his to- do list because of all of the complications I am having with my hiatal hernia. I did find out I do not need to do the liver shrinking diet again. so, as soon as inpatient surgeries open back up they will call me to get me in. Bummed, but ok. I was getting nervous, lol. I will keep checking in on this forum to see how everyone is doing.
It sucks you’re postponed. I’m really worried about that too since my area has seen a resurgence.
 
Well, I just heard from the surgeon. We are now looking at a few more months before my surgery because of the resurgence of COVID. I am number 1 on his to- do list because of all of the complications I am having with my hiatal hernia. I did find out I do not need to do the liver shrinking diet again. so, as soon as inpatient surgeries open back up they will call me to get me in. Bummed, but ok. I was getting nervous, lol. I will keep checking in on this forum to see how everyone is doing.
I'm so sorry to hear that. I had gotten the call from the hospital and pre-registered then they literally called me the next day to cancel my surgery back in the end of March. It's very frustrating to wait. Just stay focused. Your turn will come. Don't do what I did and become a hot mess. :)
 
Hi!

I'm Matthew and am 1.5 years out from Gastric Bypass. I lost 90 – 100 lbs. And yes, that's great. But I haven't lost weight in about 8 months and have been enjoying life. Carbs, wine, no exercise, and COVID is a recipe for disaster. I held steady for 6 months, but the past 2, I gained 17 lbs. And I know how this goes, this story is as old as time: first 17, then 30, then 100, or more.

I started seeing a therapist and am going to start seeing an emotional-centric nutritionist. I started tracking my food and weighing myself every day again. And I've joined this support group.

My husband, Timothy, also had surgery the same time as me and lost 150 lbs with ease, and we eat and drink very similar things. He has a much smaller frame, but still, any time we see anyone we haven't seen in a while, the response is always the same: "Timothy, you're so thin! You look so good!" Wah-wah. I'm super proud of him, but that recurring situation doesn't give me the warm fuzzies, if you know what I mean.

Open book! I have anxiety, depression, serious body dysmorphia—the overweight mental trio!

Need accountability, tips, tricks, words of encouragement, friends, advice—anything you can throw at me. My next appointment with my doctor is in 6 weeks and I'd love to be down to 225. 20 lbs, 6 weeks, crazier things have happened.

This is my victory lap and I'm pulling out all the stops—I have to. :)
You look great. Remember why you did it. Do a reset if you have to. YOU GOT THIS!!!! Start walking 3 times a week then move up to 5. No more alcohol stick to low carbs and go back on protein shakes if you need to.
 
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