Hi I'm Ruby and I am 2 weeks post op. Yay! I lost 26 lbs before my surgery and haven't weighed myself since. I think I finally decided to join (something I would consider a support group) because I have been having a hard time and need to see what I feel might be my new normal. I look forward to chatting with others in this forum and hope to make my new adventure a smooth one.
2 wks post op
- Thread starter rubee
- Start date
Im not craving.. The urges are trying food i haven't eaten in more than 2 months
dianeseattle
Member
I think docknits was responding appropriately to these posts of yours. It sounds like you want to eat junk food "that have no nutritional value," and that is definitely a craving, IMO. And your "urges" are definitely mentally driven, because you can eat nutritious foods.
But more to the point, most of us could use a therapist (or at least a support group like this one) because it's not about actual hunger, but a strong craving for sugars or fats or whatever you're probably not eating because you're trying to be healthy. That doesn't reflect negatively on any of us, because we took the big step of getting surgery after not being able to control these urges, and we became obese.
I feel your pain because I went through agony after surgery, even though I was losing weight like crazy. I totally missed eating anything I wanted to eat and having to weigh and measure and all that. In my case, as I lost weight, I was constantly berating myself for getting fat in the first place because I was thin and had a fabulous wardrobe and drooling men in my wake before I turned to food to be my best friend.
The disease that leads us to obesity is very much like alcoholism, and it's not unreasonable to look for a therapist for help, as well as a support group. I mean, you can't tell your friends all the things you're feeling. That's not what they're there for.
I hope you're feeling better by the day. It seems to take so much time, especially if you've been overweight for a long time and don't have any "skinny" clothes in your closet. And we don't generally acknowledge that it took a long time to gain all the weight, so it seems contrary that it takes so much time to lose one or two pounds. We need a lot of help and love, or at least validation that we've done a brave thing and have turned our lives around.
So, seriously, I hope you're feeling better and I hope this group is helping. We're all here for you. Is there anything we can say that could help you with your urges to eat food that's not good for you?
CNL04321
Member
Hi Diane, what words do you have for me.....I crave cookies and donuts! Not for any reason except i really like them and they taste really good!!!! Give me some words of advice please......I fell of the wagon a little and only gained 2 lbs but i recognized those 2 lbs and bad habits i was getting into and have now gone back to strict eating following my plan. Its easy to say oh its only 2 lbs, but 2lbs turns into 10lbs turns into 100lbs and i never want to go back to where i was. I feel so much better losing 85lbs and have not yet met goal. i am 13mos post sleeve.
dianeseattle
Member
Actually, I might have some good advice--at least I know what works for me.
When you get to the point where you'll go insane if you don't give in to a craving for a certain type of food, turn your full attention to it. Give yourself permission to allow this. Ride it out like a white water river, but stay in the raft.
Whatever the thing is, get a single portion of it, as small as possible. Put it on a plate and using a fork and knife (spoon if necessary), break it down into the smallest possible bites. Eat each of these tiny bites consciously, recognizing how happy it makes you to take in the pleasure of the food. Keep each bite in your mouth, on your taste buds, as long as possible. Don't feel ashamed, or like you've failed--only that you are HUMAN, like everyone else, whether skinny or fat.
If I do this and prolong my "surrender" experience for as long as possible, a couple of things happen. For one, I fall under the sensual experience of eating that food. It's like letting yourself sneeze when you're trying hard not to sneeze. It feels SO GOOD to sneeze. The other thing that happens is that the desired food sort of fades out, becomes less important, and I even sometimes wonder why I ever liked it in the first place.
I'm not sure this would help you unless you have an obsessive brain, like I do. When I get hooked into a craving, my brain multiplies the craving by a huge factor. Because I think like this, I know it's only a matter of time before I give in. So controlling the surrender is key for me, because it could so easily go the other way.
The bottom line is recognizing that repressing the struggle usually takes up much more energy and feeds the obsession much longer than abating it. If you're on a runaway train, you can try to jump off, you can jump off and die, you can slow down, you can crash, you can do many things, but the runaway train is still going to be in charge. So maybe tapping the brakes, or hanging on to the steering wheel, but accepting the fact that the train is out of control will help a little, but trying to stop the train in its tracks is probably going to be the least possible and most frustrating effort you can make.
I don't let myself feel shame or guilt if I give in to a compulsion that's been driving me insane for a while. Like I said, I'm only human, and striving for perfection is really what got me in trouble in the first place. Failing doesn't mean failure. It means that's a human response--and being human means having ups and downs, not gritting your teeth and having a heart attack because you're fighting so hard against the wrong thing.
When you get to the point where you'll go insane if you don't give in to a craving for a certain type of food, turn your full attention to it. Give yourself permission to allow this. Ride it out like a white water river, but stay in the raft.
Whatever the thing is, get a single portion of it, as small as possible. Put it on a plate and using a fork and knife (spoon if necessary), break it down into the smallest possible bites. Eat each of these tiny bites consciously, recognizing how happy it makes you to take in the pleasure of the food. Keep each bite in your mouth, on your taste buds, as long as possible. Don't feel ashamed, or like you've failed--only that you are HUMAN, like everyone else, whether skinny or fat.
If I do this and prolong my "surrender" experience for as long as possible, a couple of things happen. For one, I fall under the sensual experience of eating that food. It's like letting yourself sneeze when you're trying hard not to sneeze. It feels SO GOOD to sneeze. The other thing that happens is that the desired food sort of fades out, becomes less important, and I even sometimes wonder why I ever liked it in the first place.
I'm not sure this would help you unless you have an obsessive brain, like I do. When I get hooked into a craving, my brain multiplies the craving by a huge factor. Because I think like this, I know it's only a matter of time before I give in. So controlling the surrender is key for me, because it could so easily go the other way.
The bottom line is recognizing that repressing the struggle usually takes up much more energy and feeds the obsession much longer than abating it. If you're on a runaway train, you can try to jump off, you can jump off and die, you can slow down, you can crash, you can do many things, but the runaway train is still going to be in charge. So maybe tapping the brakes, or hanging on to the steering wheel, but accepting the fact that the train is out of control will help a little, but trying to stop the train in its tracks is probably going to be the least possible and most frustrating effort you can make.
I don't let myself feel shame or guilt if I give in to a compulsion that's been driving me insane for a while. Like I said, I'm only human, and striving for perfection is really what got me in trouble in the first place. Failing doesn't mean failure. It means that's a human response--and being human means having ups and downs, not gritting your teeth and having a heart attack because you're fighting so hard against the wrong thing.