• American Bariatrics is a free online Bariatric Support Group. Register for your free account and get access to all of our great features!

3 yrs out and feel like a failure !

A

Annie57

New Member
Hi, My name is Ann
I am three years out of having my RYN surgery,it was rough for me got very sick after the surgery and ended up having pumps and ivs for almost 6 months after the surgery and having 2 followup surgerys do to surgery infections! But, I hung in there but I feel like I am such a failure at this really. I thought by now I would be at a normal wieght and am not! I started this journey at 490 ,that is what scared me when I found out I had gotten that heavy! I had always been around 310 or so but yikes! The good news I lost 200 pounds but now I feel like I am in limbo because they always told me you would stop losing the weight after 18 months out and I am 290 and stuck there! I dont want to stay at this weight, I lost contact with the surgeon that I was seeing as at the time I was getting over being ill my mother became ill and I traveled out of state and then she passed. I never heard from my doctors after that. I feel alone and lost on this journey and trying to connect with others to help me find my way back and get the rest of this weight off, I would like to get to my goal weight of 125 but even if I got down to 150 I would be happy! I hope I can find some help and support from you all here! Thanks for listening to me!
 
Oh, Ann! You'll get back on track. You need to find a surgeon and "bite the bullet" so to speak. Don't get down on yourself. That's the 1st way to start sliding down the slippery slope of failure. You haven't failed yet. FIND A DOCTOR! You will do great. they may be able to give you some techniques to get you back on track. I don't know where you live. I would recommend my surgeon but that won't help if you aren't in the hudson valley NY area!

Keep your chin up hon! You'll be fine.

-Lisa
 
Thanks Lisa
I know your right. I live in Tulsa ,Ok but am planning on moving back to Utah to be nearer my sister. I know alot also has to do with the fact since I have lost so much weight that I have alot of sagging sick issues too and it makes me feel bad about myself too! Thanks for answering me!
Ann
 
Hi Ann. I am Tom. Sorry you had such a rough go of it from the start but you are doing great! I agree with Lisa, you can get back on track, start looking for support groups in your area, you should be able to get some good referals to bariatric doctors in your area and do a search on the computer for local support groups and doctors. I havent heard that we stop losing weight after 18 months I started slowing down but my Doc did tell me the closer I got to my goal weight that would happen. Stress can also cause us or anyone to retain weight so don't be discouraged, you are not failing we all hit platues here and there we just get through them, and for me the support groups are a great place to talk about it. This site is also a great place to talk in between meetings. You have done a lot of hard work to get where you are and your doing great. Let us know when you find a Doc and a support group you'll do great! :cool: Tom
 
I agree you need to find a new physician. If you aren't moving soon I would find a temporary one until I moved. A group of FB friends are doing the 5 day pouch test to get their pouch back on track. You could google it and read the information. Good luck you are in charge of your health. Take care of yourself.
 
Ann I feel your pain,I was 305lbs went down as far as 150.I was loving myself and the world.Then we moved to Tx 5 years ago,and I've started to put the weight back on.I can't find a surgeon or a support group in my area.I've started to feel like I failed.Then I have all this hanging skin and that doesn't help matters.I hate to look in the mirror cause all I see bloob I'm up to 180.HELP.
 
Well I can honestly say I am there with you... I had RNY in 2004.. started at 389.. lowest I got to was 183.. even then I still saw myself as fat because I was still in obese category. Of course losing over 200 pounds like everyone said was amazing.. yet I could not see it.. Then I had two more pregnancies.. gained up to 220.. lost down to 207.. and then injured my back.. now I am in limbo between 210 and 215.. I gain and lose the same 5 pounds no matter what I do.. not to mention I live off of protein shakes, because food makes me sick. yet, still cannot lose.. I feel like the biggest failure... ((hugs)) I am with you!!!
 
I am 5 years out my lowest weight was 150 from 264 ... I wanted to lose more....I almost died over 2 years ago from a bowel obstruction my business burned, then I had one minor and then another major surgery to rebuild my abdominal wall and fix a hernia....we ended up with custody of our adopted kids 2 year old sister....we have 5 kids now....one just turned 3, 5, 7, 8 and 14... Got the business up and running, won tons of awards it's beautiful.... I have gone on Xanax from all the stress gained 35 pounds and am drinking too much...I have everything yet feel helpless!!! Help me!!
 
Reedwell said:
I am 5 years out my lowest weight was 150 from 264 ... I wanted to lose more....I almost died over 2 years ago from a bowel obstruction my business burned, then I had one minor and then another major surgery to rebuild my abdominal wall and fix a hernia....we ended up with custody of our adopted kids 2 year old sister....we have 5 kids now....one just turned 3, 5, 7, 8 and 14... Got the business up and running, won tons of awards it's beautiful.... I have gone on Xanax from all the stress gained 35 pounds and am drinking too much...I have everything yet feel helpless!!! Help me!!
Click to expand...

Hi Reedwell, Welcome. Congratulations on the weight loss. Was the bowel obstruction a complication from the WLS? it sounds scary, I am glad to hear everything worked out for you and your business is up and running and doing well. I imagine running a business can be very stressfull and that is not very good for weight loss, it seems that stress makes our bodies retain or even gain weght:( Kids can also be stressfull at times but for all the love and joy I think that more than makes up for any mischiviousnes they get into:D The Xanax should help with the stress so I guess that leaves the drinking, I am guessing you are talking about adult beverages, there are a lot of calories in them no matter what you choose. If you can cut back just one on the weekend nights that would help out or one night cap a night that would also help. However if you feel that you just cant cut back no matter how hard you try then you may need to stop. You are not alone in this.

I was cautioned before I had surgery that a dependance on alcohol could happen to me just because I was used to haveing a drink or two every night. So I stopped drinking after my consultation and did not drink for 9 or so months post surgery no problem, I felt great and what was wrong with a glass of wine or two. Well a long story short, in a total of 17 months post op I had developed such a thirst for drink that I couldn't stop and I had to get help, now I don't drink and thats fine with me, I am healthy and feel great so the trade was well worth it and I wouldn't change a thing.

I certainly hope this is not the case for you because it is not an easy thing to go through, luckily I noticed what I was doing and got therapy and didn't damage myself. My therapist said it is common for WLS patients to develope and addiction to alcohol even if they never had a problem before. So I hope you can just ease off the drink and count your calories get lots of protien and make sure to exersice 30 to 60 minutes a day and that should help get you on track. This is a great support group so please come back and let us know how you are doing. Good luck. :cool: Tom
 
Yes, the obstruction was a bypass complication!! It was very scary. I almost died as I thought it was flu and waited 2 days to see a doc...then had to have emergency surgery by a general surgeon. I would not have made it if we waited to get me to my bypass surgeon. My bypass was redone but I feel like I can eat too much. I also contracted mrsa andvthe incision took 5 months to heal.....hence loss of workouts.....then the surgeries afterward slowed down my workouts....so scared of another hernia....working on the adult beverages:)
 
Wow, mersa is bad stuff, we have had people on our fire crews develope it from small cuts they would get out working in the woods. Were there any other symptoms to the bowel obstruction besides flu like symptoms, I had the RnY what did you have? I tend to ride out ilnesses and I would tend to make the same mistake, I will have to more carefull if I get sick I guess, I just don't like going in tith little things like a cold or flu:rolleyes:, I know ther is not much they can do most of the time. If you would like to know more of my story on my struggle with alcohol of what happened and how I dealt with it just send me a PM, it is somewhat of a long story. Good luck. :cool: Tom
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top