theslimmingofthesara
Member
Hello all,
I introduced myself a few weeks ago, and now I am five days post op. My husband has been very supportive of my getting the surgery, staying at his job so I could be on his insurance, coming with me to appointments, even getting me a fancy blender. Since I've come home from the hospital however, it has been a different story.
Luckily my mom came to help, because he stays in the bedroom all day on his computer and barely checks in on me or asks how I am feeling/need anything. He hasn't done any of his normal chores or housework that we've divided up, and has been letting his 60 yr old mother-in-law (my mom) do them, and she has paid for every meal they've ordered (neither of them cooks). The afternoon I came home from the hopsital he said he was upset because I didn't reach out to him more while I was there for two days (my mom and him we're not allowed in due to COVID-19 restrictions, so I was by myself for two days), and honestly, I was completely out of it for a good majority of my time there which I explained to him.
I'm taking 5 weeks off of work and he commented that I didn't need that much time off, and that when my mom leaves he's concerned I'm just going to eat out of pure boredom (I didn't do much of that before, and I certainly don't feel like doing it now). My mother also told me that while they were eating at his family's house the other night, my husband mentioned how I won't be cooking for him for awhile, and his family member said 'She's recuperating she's not there to cook for you" and his response was "whatever". He got upset yesterday when I didn't cover my mouth when I started coughing because I was holding a pillow to my incisions, and my mom said I had to do that so I don't tear out my stitches and he just grunted.
My mom is leaving this upcoming Saturday, and even she said I better be self sufficient by then because my husband clearly isn't gonna assist me - she cannot stay longer due to her available time at work. My husband has always been a little emotionally unavailable, but this is beyond anything else. He's made this entire process about him, and how it effects him, while I'm sitting here with five incisions in me and stressed out. Did any of you experience this, and what advice do you have for me?
I introduced myself a few weeks ago, and now I am five days post op. My husband has been very supportive of my getting the surgery, staying at his job so I could be on his insurance, coming with me to appointments, even getting me a fancy blender. Since I've come home from the hospital however, it has been a different story.
Luckily my mom came to help, because he stays in the bedroom all day on his computer and barely checks in on me or asks how I am feeling/need anything. He hasn't done any of his normal chores or housework that we've divided up, and has been letting his 60 yr old mother-in-law (my mom) do them, and she has paid for every meal they've ordered (neither of them cooks). The afternoon I came home from the hopsital he said he was upset because I didn't reach out to him more while I was there for two days (my mom and him we're not allowed in due to COVID-19 restrictions, so I was by myself for two days), and honestly, I was completely out of it for a good majority of my time there which I explained to him.
I'm taking 5 weeks off of work and he commented that I didn't need that much time off, and that when my mom leaves he's concerned I'm just going to eat out of pure boredom (I didn't do much of that before, and I certainly don't feel like doing it now). My mother also told me that while they were eating at his family's house the other night, my husband mentioned how I won't be cooking for him for awhile, and his family member said 'She's recuperating she's not there to cook for you" and his response was "whatever". He got upset yesterday when I didn't cover my mouth when I started coughing because I was holding a pillow to my incisions, and my mom said I had to do that so I don't tear out my stitches and he just grunted.
My mom is leaving this upcoming Saturday, and even she said I better be self sufficient by then because my husband clearly isn't gonna assist me - she cannot stay longer due to her available time at work. My husband has always been a little emotionally unavailable, but this is beyond anything else. He's made this entire process about him, and how it effects him, while I'm sitting here with five incisions in me and stressed out. Did any of you experience this, and what advice do you have for me?
