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A Week in.....ugh....so sad.

It's going to be OK! You can do this. Focus on all the positive results and try to keep busy with a hobby when you feel yourself slipping into that negative space: distraction can be a good tool to get you over the hump. It is normal to have a wide range of emotions with such a large lifestyle change but it will get so much better! Think of the reasons why you made the decision to do it. Since there's no going back, dwelling in a bad place will only feed that sense of loss. Think instead on what you will gain, and how you love yourself so much you weren't willing to fade away without a fight! You are stronger than you think you are :)
 
I'm so sorry you are having buyers remorse.
It is a very difficult change to our lives. I am only four weeks out from RNY and sometimes I wish it just wasn't so hard. I just keep trying to remember that I was and still am in bad health and I am ready to get healthier. I still have a lot of life left to go.
I hope that you will get better soon.
 
I am a week post op myself. I woke up this morning with the same emotions, questioning if I made the right decision. In the weeks prior to surgery, I spoke with four people who are months post op. I specifically asked if they regretted the procedure. All of them said it was the best decision they've made, no regrets. All are happy with the decision and are enjoying life. Each of them have encouraged me to follow through. I find that getting my thoughts past the discomfort of early recovery, and focus my thoughts on the long term picture, my emotions are more positive.
 
Welcome to the group Margo! Listen, you are so new and you have not even cleared your organs of the anesthetic that was given to you in the hospital. If you had anesthesia and you're using pain pills derived from opiates, you are automatically depressed. These drugs depress you. So don't think it's all about regret. They got you! You've been set up like a bowling pin. You cannot feel happy no matter if you won the lottery. Go ahead and cry and feel all the feelings you want to feel but do stop once in awhile and meditate on how wonderful life is going to be and how wonderful it already is. Your nausea will pass, your weight will go down. Your comorbidities will improve. Each body just takes as long as it takes to get back to normal.

You might want to try and exercise that puts things in perspective. Make a list of all the awful things that are happening in your life. Include the awful things from your past and imagine the awful things that will happen in your future. Read the list and then call bullshit on all those things that deserve it. Cross them off the list. Either they're done or they're doing or they are not going to happen. You have so much power over your life. I'm going to say something kind of rude. Get over yourself. Do not wallow in this negativity that is pulling you down even farther. Remember, it's the anesthetic and the pain medication that is creating the fertile soil in which depression is planted. Ask yourself, do I have a legitimate complaint here or am I whining? If you have a legitimate complaint, go see your doctor and get it taken care of. If you're just whining, ask yourself is this the way I usually cope with pain or sadness? You can get rid of that depression believe me. But you're going to have to give it another week. During that week, stop expecting so much from yourself. Stop detracting from the joy that you are going to have and already have because you went through with an important surgery that will save your life. Just rest and be kind. Get your favorite magazines and get that TV movie channel or make sure your kids or grandkids or dogs or cats are always around you looking at what I see people around us are now facing. And do not open your mouth to speak if the next thing that you say and something about regretting the surgery or making a mistake. Stop saying that. You didn't make a mistake and believe it or not you don't regret the surgery. You are being manipulated by drugs and mood. Fight it!

if everything else fails, think of the billions of people in the world who have it so much worse than you. People are starving, some people don't have any water. The entire infrastructure of the Amazon rainforest is killing off ancient tribes and beautiful birds and animals that live there and help us with our carbon dioxide emissions. There are orca whales being kept in cramped little cages by the Russians who seem to have no point in doing this except to keep them trapped. People are suffering all over the world. All you did was have a rather standard surgery and we've all had it. Try to put it in perspective.

Get mad at me if that helps. I don't care. I am happy for the first time in since I was 30 years old, I am thin and athletic.

I have I have permanent pain in a nerve bundle that originated in the incision they made in my stomach. The pain is excruciating if I twist my hips too much or wear a pair of pants that are too tight. My response was not to regret the surgery because of this excruciating pain, but to go to a pain clinic and get a TENS unit. I could have sued, but that would make me happy. After all my body was getting so healthy and attractive that I didn't want to spend months in court. It's a trade-off I do not regret.
 
dianeseattle said:
Welcome to the group Margo! Listen, you are so new and you have not even cleared your organs of the anesthetic that was given to you in the hospital. If you had anesthesia and you're using pain pills derived from opiates, you are automatically depressed. These drugs depress you. So don't think it's all about regret. They got you! You've been set up like a bowling pin. You cannot feel happy no matter if you won the lottery. Go ahead and cry and feel all the feelings you want to feel but do stop once in awhile and meditate on how wonderful life is going to be and how wonderful it already is. Your nausea will pass, your weight will go down. Your comorbidities will improve. Each body just takes as long as it takes to get back to normal.

You might want to try and exercise that puts things in perspective. Make a list of all the awful things that are happening in your life. Include the awful things from your past and imagine the awful things that will happen in your future. Read the list and then call bullshit on all those things that deserve it. Cross them off the list. Either they're done or they're doing or they are not going to happen. You have so much power over your life. I'm going to say something kind of rude. Get over yourself. Do not wallow in this negativity that is pulling you down even farther. Remember, it's the anesthetic and the pain medication that is creating the fertile soil in which depression is planted. Ask yourself, do I have a legitimate complaint here or am I whining? If you have a legitimate complaint, go see your doctor and get it taken care of. If you're just whining, ask yourself is this the way I usually cope with pain or sadness? You can get rid of that depression believe me. But you're going to have to give it another week. During that week, stop expecting so much from yourself. Stop detracting from the joy that you are going to have and already have because you went through with an important surgery that will save your life. Just rest and be kind. Get your favorite magazines and get that TV movie channel or make sure your kids or grandkids or dogs or cats are always around you looking at what I see people around us are now facing. And do not open your mouth to speak if the next thing that you say and something about regretting the surgery or making a mistake. Stop saying that. You didn't make a mistake and believe it or not you don't regret the surgery. You are being manipulated by drugs and mood. Fight it!

if everything else fails, think of the billions of people in the world who have it so much worse than you. People are starving, some people don't have any water. The entire infrastructure of the Amazon rainforest is killing off ancient tribes and beautiful birds and animals that live there and help us with our carbon dioxide emissions. There are orca whales being kept in cramped little cages by the Russians who seem to have no point in doing this except to keep them trapped. People are suffering all over the world. All you did was have a rather standard surgery and we've all had it. Try to put it in perspective.

Get mad at me if that helps. I don't care. I am happy for the first time in since I was 30 years old, I am thin and athletic.

I have I have permanent pain in a nerve bundle that originated in the incision they made in my stomach. The pain is excruciating if I twist my hips too much or wear a pair of pants that are too tight. My response was not to regret the surgery because of this excruciating pain, but to go to a pain clinic and get a TENS unit. I could have sued, but that would make me happy. After all my body was getting so healthy and attractive that I didn't want to spend months in court. It's a trade-off I do not regret.
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Such awesome advice as usual Diane!
 
It gets better. I am almost 9 weeks out and I also had regret for 1 or 2 weeks. Then I was ambivalent for a few weeks, and now I'm glad I did it! This is an emotional journey as well as a physical one. There will be highs and lows, they both will pass. We just have to ride it out. It seems that the farther away ppl get from the surgery date, the happier they are. When we can really feel the results, not just see a number on the scale, the positives will start setting in and it will get easier.
 
AnnieLuv said:
It gets better. I am almost 9 weeks out and I also had regret for 1 or 2 weeks. Then I was ambivalent for a few weeks, and now I'm glad I did it! This is an emotional journey as well as a physical one. There will be highs and lows, they both will pass. We just have to ride it out. It seems that the farther away ppl get from the surgery date, the happier they are. When we can really feel the results, not just see a number on the scale, the positives will start setting in and it will get easier.
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You're totally right Annie - now when I look back to my first month or two, the struggles are a blur.
 
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