• American Bariatrics is a free online Bariatric Support Group. Register for your free account and get access to all of our great features!

BED has become my Scarlet Letter!

suzannethemom

suzannethemom

Member
Today was my first consultation with the physician assistant and then a dietitian (one hour each). They both immediately focused on my previous BED (Binge Eating Disorder). I finished two years of outpatient treatment in 2018 and and extra year of therapy. I have successfully overcome my BED symptoms, but I still eat late at night (11pm to 1:00am-ish). I go to bed around 3:00am. I was a late night binge eater in order to hide the overeating from my family. Now I no longer binge, but the late night eating stuck with me. The doctors see it as “an eating habit that you are unable to break or be in control of. Therefore, after surgery you may not be able to control your eating in the evenings.” The dietitian said it is something I can fix through more dietician and therapy visits. Ugh, I am so frustrated. I’m right back where I started. Of course my eating habits stink or I wouldn’t be here. I will never overcome the stigma of my eating disorder. Is this the end of the journey for me?
 
Last edited:
It is never the end, it will be a challenge. Don’t beat yourself up, not worth it. One diet book stated we are our own worst enemy. Nobody is as hard on us as we are to ourself. Set backs happen, it is a matter of identifying the problem and making solutions to overcome. You are not alone here, that is the best thing in the world. Hang in there and know not everything is black and white, gray is the compromise. Learn to forgive yourself. Then you can love yourself. Be safe have fun
 
I eat late at night whenever I feel like it. The only problem with it is if you then go to sleep and expend no energy. I don't gain any weight and I don't follow a regular mealtime during the day. Time of day is irrelevant. How you digest food is important. Never eat without post-meal activity.

Anyway, this is such a miniscule issue in the whole spectrum of your surgical path. Don't fixate. You don't need to invite any more problems into your life.
 
I just don't get it. They are there to help you embrace a whole new lifestyle using WLS as the tool to help you succeed. It sounds so judgmental to pick one aspect of your life and fixate on that as an indicator of future failure.

C'mon now. One of the best parts of WLS is you will have little to no appetite for several weeks to months. This gives you time to learn healthy new eating habits. Binge eating would be nearly impossible post-surgery, esp if you have the gastric bypass. A few episodes of dumping would stop almost anyone from ever doing that again.

Best of luck finding a program that will respect you and work with you!
 
Suzanne, you have, like, 75 years of practical experience talking to you here. We KNOW. And when we hear someone is struggling or just trying, we genuinely want to help you succeed. Peel off the label and reveal the beautiful you underneath. It's not a race. It's a commitment to change. Let doctors monitor the science. Let your supporters monitor the love !!!
 
KarenWV said:
I just don't get it. They are there to help you embrace a whole new lifestyle using WLS as the tool to help you succeed. It sounds so judgmental to pick one aspect of your life and fixate on that as an indicator of future failure.

C'mon now. One of the best parts of WLS is you will have little to no appetite for several weeks to months. This gives you time to learn healthy new eating habits. Binge eating would be nearly impossible post-surgery, esp if you have the gastric bypass. A few episodes of dumping would stop almost anyone from ever doing that again.

Best of luck finding a program that will respect you and work with you!
Click to expand...
Karen, that’s exactly what I said to her regarding no appetite and dumping. The dietitian said “I have SO many patients who learn how to trick their new stomach and eat poorly throughout the day.”
 
Last edited:
suzannethemom said:
Karen, that’s exactly what I said regarding no appetite and dumping. She said “there are no many patients who learn how to trick their new stomach and eat poorly throughout the day.”
Click to expand...
Ok you're gonna have to give me her number and let me straighten her out big time LOL. :rolleyes:

Seriously, trust me on this. If you get the gastric bypass, your stomach goes from about the size of a football to the size of an egg. Your intestine is rerouted. If you attempt to overstuff your new pouch, you will have unbearable pain in your digestive tract, and most likely dumping or spitting back up. How in the world could you possibly binge? Sure, you can "graze" all day long and slow down your weight loss, but bingeing? C'mon now. I don't think so.

Hopefully there is another bariatric team nearby that will work with you and use common sense. Please don't give up. We do care! ❤❤
 
JudyNY said:
Are they saying they don't want you to get the surgery but instead do more therapy? If that is the case, I strongly disagree. You need every tool possible to recovery. Are you able to consult with another bariatric surgeon?
Click to expand...
Yes, that is what they are saying. Seriously, I cannot go backwards and waste time talking about my eating disorder with a therapist. I decided this morning that I am going to pursue a different WLS center. It’s weird because I had a negative feeling about this place from the get go. The receptionist kept calling my husband’s cellphone while he was working (he let it go to voicemail). I thought to myself “Seriously, they can’t even get my phone number right?” I listed our home phone on all of the paperwork. I’m a stay at home mom. Good grief, maybe that was a sign!
 
suzannethemom said:
I have successfully overcome my BED symptoms, but I still eat late at night (11pm to 1:00am-ish). I go to bed around 3:00am. I was a late night binge eater in order to hide the overeating from my family. Now I no longer binge, but the late night eating stuck with me.
Click to expand...

Like any habit, you need a system to break it. Think of yourself as a smoker, or an alcoholic. What would you do to stop feeding the habit? You'd stop buying cigs and booze, first. You'd work on setting a schedule, with alarms, if needed. Fo' sure you'd set an earlier bedtime.

And confess. Tell your family. Agree not to eat EVER outside their presence.

Get more proactive with measuring tools--a scale, spoons, cups--weigh and measure everything.

Substitute. If you feel a compulsion to eat, jog in place for five minutes. Buy smaller clothes at a thrift shop so overeating is uncomfortable. Start a handsy habit, like embroidery, macrame, knitting. Get a recovery partner who agrees to be on call 24/7. Call eachother all the time. Stop isolating. Take selfies every day. Get a makeover and practice different looks. Visit a salon weekly to change hair color or have a facial. Spend food money on an evening gown. Go big or go hide in a closet crying!

NEVER say "It's hard." That is an affirmation. Say, "It's easy." Your surface awareness will disagree, but there's a core part of your consciousness dying to hear it.

Create your system, but keep it simple--3 or 4 things you'll embrace when you're in crisis. Adding too many is sabotage. Thing Number One MUST BE "No eating after dinner, EVER."

FYI, I'm also nocturnal, though I regret it every day. It goes back to childhood. But if you drink more water and get more sleep, things that sag will spring back, and creases will fill, wrinkles will plump to normal. You'll also feel smarter, remember better and attract more people to you.

If you don't believe that consider this: you may be putting up walls, unconsciously or deliberately.

I used to say, "I'm 60" or whatever, with pride, expecting to hear, "Wow, you look like you're in your 30s," etc. Well, there came a day when no one said that anymore. How did they know? My wrinkles and creases announced it.

Drink water, get sleep, have moisturizing facials.
 

Attachments

  • 20210907_185949.jpg
    20210907_185949.jpg
    91.2 KB · Views: 38
dianeseattle said:
Like any habit, you need a system to break it. Think of yourself as a smoker, or an alcoholic. What would you do to stop feeding the habit? You'd stop buying cigs and booze, first. You'd work on setting a schedule, with alarms, if needed. Fo' sure you'd set an earlier bedtime.

And confess. Tell your family. Agree not to eat EVER outside their presence.

Get more proactive with measuring tools--a scale, spoons, cups--weigh and measure everything.

Substitute. If you feel a compulsion to eat, jog in place for five minutes. Buy smaller clothes at a thrift shop so overeating is uncomfortable. Start a handsy habit, like embroidery, macrame, knitting. Get a recovery partner who agrees to be on call 24/7. Call eachother all the time. Stop isolating. Take selfies every day. Get a makeover and practice different looks. Visit a salon weekly to change hair color or have a facial. Spend food money on an evening gown. Go big or go hide in a closet crying!

NEVER say "It's hard." That is an affirmation. Say, "It's easy." Your surface awareness will disagree, but there's a core part of your consciousness dying to hear it.

Create your system, but keep it simple--3 or 4 things you'll embrace when you're in crisis. Adding too many is sabotage. Thing Number One MUST BE "No eating after dinner, EVER."

FYI, I'm also nocturnal, though I regret it every day. It goes back to childhood. But if you drink more water and get more sleep, things that sag will spring back, and creases will fill, wrinkles will plump to normal. You'll also feel smarter, remember better and attract more people to you.

If you don't believe that consider this: you may be putting up walls, unconsciously or deliberately.

I used to say, "I'm 60" or whatever, with pride, expecting to hear, "Wow, you look like you're in your 30s," etc. Well, there came a day when no one said that anymore. How did they know? My wrinkles and creases announced it.

Drink water, get sleep, have moisturizing facials.
Click to expand...
Okay Diane, get outta my head! It’s like you read my mind. We had a family discussion about everything last night. My family is my number one support team. My husband and two boys (23 & 25) helped me through BED treatment and they are super supportive of WLS. I created a new eating and sleep schedule chart. I will slowly adjust my sleep schedule each week. I’m adding lunch everyday day (which I usually skip) so that I won’t be hungry late at night. I am willing to do whatever it takes to make WLS happen.
 
suzannethemom said:
Okay Diane, get outta my head! It’s like you read my mind. We had a family discussion about everything last night. My family is my number one support team. My husband and two boys (23 & 25) helped me through BED treatment and they are super supportive of WLS. I created a new eating and sleep schedule chart. I will slowly adjust my sleep schedule each week. I’m adding lunch everyday day (which I usually skip) so that I won’t be hungry late at night. I am willing to do whatever it takes to make WLS happen.
Click to expand...
Hey Suzanne. I am so impressed by your strength in dealing with your (previous) disorder by working out a new routine. Creating a tracking system is such a big part of post-surgery life for many of us. Seems to me you are so ready for this. If it were up to me, I'd have green lighted your approval for surgery already.

Please keep us informed. We truly care about you, and we love how you are not allowing these roadblocks to stop you. Way to go girl! ❤❤
 
suzannethemom said:
Yes, that is what they are saying. Seriously, I cannot go backwards and waste time talking about my eating disorder with a therapist. I decided this morning that I am going to pursue a different WLS center. It’s weird because I had a negative feeling about this place from the get go. The receptionist kept calling my husband’s cellphone while he was working (he let it go to voicemail). I thought to myself “Seriously, they can’t even get my phone number right?” I listed our home phone on all of the paperwork. I’m a stay at home mom. Good grief, maybe that was a sign!
Click to expand...
Good for you, time to move on to another WLS center. Let us know how it goes. Good luck!
 
dianeseattle said:
Like any habit, you need a system to break it. Think of yourself as a smoker, or an alcoholic. What would you do to stop feeding the habit? You'd stop buying cigs and booze, first. You'd work on setting a schedule, with alarms, if needed. Fo' sure you'd set an earlier bedtime.

And confess. Tell your family. Agree not to eat EVER outside their presence.

Get more proactive with measuring tools--a scale, spoons, cups--weigh and measure everything.

Substitute. If you feel a compulsion to eat, jog in place for five minutes. Buy smaller clothes at a thrift shop so overeating is uncomfortable. Start a handsy habit, like embroidery, macrame, knitting. Get a recovery partner who agrees to be on call 24/7. Call eachother all the time. Stop isolating. Take selfies every day. Get a makeover and practice different looks. Visit a salon weekly to change hair color or have a facial. Spend food money on an evening gown. Go big or go hide in a closet crying!

NEVER say "It's hard." That is an affirmation. Say, "It's easy." Your surface awareness will disagree, but there's a core part of your consciousness dying to hear it.

Create your system, but keep it simple--3 or 4 things you'll embrace when you're in crisis. Adding too many is sabotage. Thing Number One MUST BE "No eating after dinner, EVER."

FYI, I'm also nocturnal, though I regret it every day. It goes back to childhood. But if you drink more water and get more sleep, things that sag will spring back, and creases will fill, wrinkles will plump to normal. You'll also feel smarter, remember better and attract more people to you.

If you don't believe that consider this: you may be putting up walls, unconsciously or deliberately.

I used to say, "I'm 60" or whatever, with pride, expecting to hear, "Wow, you look like you're in your 30s," etc. Well, there came a day when no one said that anymore. How did they know? My wrinkles and creases announced it.

Drink water, get sleep, have moisturizing facials.
Click to expand...
Diane, I am staring a file on my computer called Diane's Words of Wisdom! And copying these posts into it for rereading and reflection. Love you and thank you for all you do in this group!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top