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Brand new! Surgery will be within @5 months

great question. make sure your team includes, at minumum, a skilled surgical specialist, surgical nurses, clinic nurses and a dietitian or nutritionist. write everything down they say and if they're cool with it, tape or videotape, promising copies to everyone. transcribe the tapes. get a blank book. use it to journal your thoughts from the very beginning, write in it every day. record your starting weight. 99 percent of your writing should be about you. You need to learn everything you can about all your triggers and emotions. you will need to practice affimations and positive thinking and set tiny goals to meet, one after another, You especially need to inform your eating disorder that it is no longer going to be allowed o run your life because it's not real. science and medicine are real. Those are your new best friends. Make sure you tell your eating disorder that you plan to enjoy food to the fullest, but that it will not be included with your meals. Do not share this journal with anyone for at least five years. Don't give people the opportunity to edit or censor you, or to throw you off track with a popular myth or two they heard while standing in the grocery line. Also, these people are going to do everything they can to talk you out of it. It's none of their business and they don't know half of what you're learning. You are becoming an expert.

keep a second journal, like a ledger, with columns for type of food, time of day, amount, calories contained and protein grams ingested. Write down every single crumb. Don't share this, either. you risk dishonesty when you keep track because you don't want to mention that cookie you ate or that little bite you had of someone else's pizza.

By keeping a diary, you can be very honest with yourself, and you can come to understand the underlying reasons that guided your journey of self-destruction. Nothing is off limits. You may mention something awful, like incest. keep track of trauma and get a great lay theirapist. I recommend a person with a Masters in Social Work (MSW) Their knowledge of ways to help is nothing less than encyclopedic.

learn about food.

Browse those pretty catalogs filled with the clothes you've been dying to wear. Buy yourself one pair of slacks or jeans that doesn't have an elastic waistband. Get it in your size, right now, and wear it. it will be your true guide as you lose pounds and inches. Watch how they fit as you go along and trust them, even when you can't trust the scale.

study in order to learn to control obsession. Maybe you think of food 7 times every minute. See if you can get it down to 1. There are guided meditations that can help you with this.

be happy. if you have a depressed thought, flip it on its head. if you wish you weren't so controlling, flip it. See it as a benefit, and yourself as a person who is willing to take control when others aren't Do this on a resume & it will help you get a job. Turn every bad habit into an asset.

Once a day go into a quiet room or closet and just hug yourself. wrap your arms all the way they will go and see yourself as a child who needs love and wants love, and is hurting. comfort her aloud using your name. Tell her you will protect her. The more you hug her, the better you will feel as both hurting child and loving parent.

You need to fill up a lot of time while you wait. Go to the library and read up on it. And while you're there, realize you are equal with everyone. Make sure you smile and say hi to every single person. Giving is receiving.

Start there.
 
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