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Different kind of celebration

Brenda2010

Brenda2010

Member
Hey guys and gals,

4 years ago, May 21st 2016, I woke on my living room floor having lost most of 2+ days in multiple bottles of rum. I polished off the last 2 shots to stop the shaking and finally surrendered. I was a “functioning” alcoholic who hid it from most but was drinking to the point of black out/pass out nightly.

I called my sister bawling and she took me to the hospital for detox. The normal stay is 3 days to detoxify, then to be referred to an impatient facility. I was so sick for living like this for at least 12 years that I had to stay an extra 3 days for observation/medication because I was still in major danger of having seizures.

From there I went into a 28 day program. Talk about humbling. Sharing a room with other addicts, some of whom were court-ordered and had no intention of getting sober. Chores like children, no contact with the outside world including TV, phone, newspapers, radio or computers. You had to sign up days in advance to get to make two 5 minute calls a week on a payphone. Talk about a wakeup call.

But it worked. I vowed to never have to go through anything like that again. And you know what? I think it made me stronger, mentally and psychologically ready to take on the challenge of WLS 2 years and 10 months later.

Thanks for listening everyone. I just wanted to share my celebration.
 
Congratulations Brenda on your anniversary. We often say that trying to deal with an eating disorder is hard because you can't stop eating, whereas you can stop smoking or stop drinking. But you need food to live so you have to figure out a way to manage eating.

But I have known a lot of Alcoholics in my life and I have watched them struggle and sometimes it was about them being jerks. But most of the time is about them being helpless, powerless and pathetic.

And I remember once, after a very bad episode with my little brother Tim, somebody was trying to commiserate with me and talk about how stupid he was to make me feel better about what has happened by making him look bad. And I said, "Do you actually believe that he would treat me that way if it he could make any other choice? " He could never make a healthy choice. He was enslaved to alcohol his entire life.

I was the only person in my family who actually spent time with him and accepted the fact that he was an alcoholic. Of course 10 years in Al-Anon will do that to a girl. Still he had my friendship up until the day he died.

And he died because his drinking put into motion a series of events that led to him being sick and his liver going bad and kidneys failing and I can't even remember all the things that were wrong with him. Alcohol was the loaded gun he pointed at his head.

You have managed to deal with that addiction and get better and then you went right onto your second addiction –– overeating –– and now you have conquered that. Even though I only witnessed alcoholism in the behavior of others, I shared the addiction with you because I could not control my eating disorder.

Thank God for weight loss surgery and for other people who faced the same problem, who gravitate to groups like these to support one another.

And again, congratulations on managing to get off alcohol and then to develop enough self-love to keep going and caring about yourself and your health. That is not a small thing, not at all. Good job. You went through the wringer and came out the other side with a brand new life.:cool:
 
Thank you everyone so much. While food was my initial addiction (I recall binge eating in the pantry at 7), I also started drinking heavily way too young. Grew up in a "partying" house where weekends were all booze and pot. Had my first wine coolers at 10 but really started abusing alcohol at 12. Finding ways to get it outside the house since I was underage. I developed young and was able to sweet talk older boys with IDs. By the time I was 16, I had my own fake ID and was binge drinking all the time. But I thought that's what your 20s were for. I'd say by the time I was 30, I was a full-fledged alcoholic. My sister was the only one who knew how much I was actually drinking and that I was killing myself. All the while I was still abusing food as well. When I checked into rehab, I was 250 pounds. Put on another 40 within a couple months of sobriety. Cross-addicted much?

So yeah, I started abusing alcohol at 12 and finally stopped when I was 41. 29 years is quite a ride. I'm so grateful to have the healthy body I do today. My life really is just getting started.
 
You. Are. Amazing. I hope you know that. Like everyone else, I am celebrating your victory with you. You have done so much self improvement. Not only did you kick ass with your addictions, you have improved your mental health as well. You use all the tools you have available to you to be the best you that you can be. Keep your spirits high and you'll be kicking ass long into the future ;)
 
The BLJ said:
I have said once and I will say it again you are amazing. Addiction is a warriors journey and you continue to concur. You inspire with you story and vulnerability telling it. Congratulations on your sober Anniversary.
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Thank you so much (it's Brenda, right?). I was genetically predisposed and though it took a lot of my youth, I'm so happy that I was able to get my life back. I say it often since I'm 45, so this is my mid-life... what's the opposite of crisis? Breakthrough? :) I love you all so much for supporting me and all my vices. :)
 
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