TraceyT
Member
My husband and I saw people at my dads funeral that we literally haven’t seen in several years. One friend I grew up with told my husband that he needed to get a sandwich and a milkshake every day.
Same friend came to the house after the funeral to eat - talk - catch up. He came in with a hamburger and a chocolate milkshake for me. The thought of food literally made me sick. The smell of all the food people were dropping off made me physically ill.
I was extremely close to my daddy. I was the baby of the family and the only girl. According to my dad I had him wrapped around my little finger from the day I was born.
His death sent me into a spiral. My husband could see what was happening - but he couldn’t stop it. I was just extremely stressed - exhausted - hurt - missing my weekly “dates” with my daddy. I am devastated. My husband finally had to step in. He took me off for a weekend. I hadn’t really looked in a mirror for a week or so. I looked AWFUL. I was going for days without sleeping or eating.
I’m trying to work on me now. My husband told me it was”ok” to take time to work on me. Grieve and let my emotions out anyway I needed too. I was so focused on my mom, kids to see that I needed to grieve too
He took me to the firing range and got some special things for me to fire! OMG! I’m married to a truly loving man. I shot the shit out of every target in sight! I fired guns I had never seen before. I shot, cried, screamed and eventually collapsed.
My husband was there to catch me. He’s my rock - my anchor in any storm - the love of my life. We talked and he said he was afraid I was going to join my dad. He was afraid. I’m not trying to join my dad - but my world will never be the same without my dad.
I know that I’m too skinny. I’m working on it. I’m eating every day. I’m sleeping every night - with prescription help. It truly is difficult to gain weight for me - constant work in progress.
I do go to the cemetery daily to talk to my daddy. My mom can’t go just yet. But I’ll take her when she’s ready. My mom isn’t ready to be in the house alone - so either me or one of my 3 youngest girls stay with her every night so she isn’t alone. My husband stays with me at moms whenever I stay overnight with her. He says he doesn’t sleep well unless my ice cold feet aren’t put in the middle of back after he’s gone to sleep. I told him I sleep better after I put my cold feet in the middle of his HOT body - and I mean Sun HOT not the so sexy HOT…
Same friend came to the house after the funeral to eat - talk - catch up. He came in with a hamburger and a chocolate milkshake for me. The thought of food literally made me sick. The smell of all the food people were dropping off made me physically ill.
I was extremely close to my daddy. I was the baby of the family and the only girl. According to my dad I had him wrapped around my little finger from the day I was born.
His death sent me into a spiral. My husband could see what was happening - but he couldn’t stop it. I was just extremely stressed - exhausted - hurt - missing my weekly “dates” with my daddy. I am devastated. My husband finally had to step in. He took me off for a weekend. I hadn’t really looked in a mirror for a week or so. I looked AWFUL. I was going for days without sleeping or eating.
I’m trying to work on me now. My husband told me it was”ok” to take time to work on me. Grieve and let my emotions out anyway I needed too. I was so focused on my mom, kids to see that I needed to grieve too
He took me to the firing range and got some special things for me to fire! OMG! I’m married to a truly loving man. I shot the shit out of every target in sight! I fired guns I had never seen before. I shot, cried, screamed and eventually collapsed.
My husband was there to catch me. He’s my rock - my anchor in any storm - the love of my life. We talked and he said he was afraid I was going to join my dad. He was afraid. I’m not trying to join my dad - but my world will never be the same without my dad.
I know that I’m too skinny. I’m working on it. I’m eating every day. I’m sleeping every night - with prescription help. It truly is difficult to gain weight for me - constant work in progress.
I do go to the cemetery daily to talk to my daddy. My mom can’t go just yet. But I’ll take her when she’s ready. My mom isn’t ready to be in the house alone - so either me or one of my 3 youngest girls stay with her every night so she isn’t alone. My husband stays with me at moms whenever I stay overnight with her. He says he doesn’t sleep well unless my ice cold feet aren’t put in the middle of back after he’s gone to sleep. I told him I sleep better after I put my cold feet in the middle of his HOT body - and I mean Sun HOT not the so sexy HOT…