• American Bariatrics is a free online Bariatric Support Group. Register for your free account and get access to all of our great features!

Intro and reaching out for support

Z

Zephyr

Member
Coming here to introduce myself, I guess. I'm 24F and I just got to my highest weight ever, 300lbs. I'm feeling a bit discouraged about myself and I'm not really sure who to talk to about this... I have some great friends, but this is such an embarrassing topic for me. I know I need support and someone to talk to about this stuff, but I can't bring myself to talk to my friends about it. Hence why I am here.

I made an appointment with the bariatric team in October and I had my first appointment a few days ago. They gave the rundown of all the hoops I need to jump through before they can help me. I need to lose 15 pounds over 6 months, and pass a psych eval and various medical tests. I never thought this would be my life, and I'm really discouraged with myself. I have a lot of CSA trauma that definitely contributed to me trying to use food as a coping mechanism, and it definitely got out of hand while I was dealing with other parts of life. And then COVID happened, that definitely didn't help!

I feel very guilty and shameful about the state of my body currently... Stretchmarks everywhere and 150lbs overweight, at just 24 years old... it feels so unfair. At my lowest moments I wonder if it's even worth fixing... if I am even worth the trouble. It feels like there is SO MUCH to do, and I just don't have the energy to do it. I wish I could wave a magic wand and have it be fixed. And it feels like a punishment that I have to fix this mess.

And yet, the other parts of my life are going really really well, and I want to be able to go hiking with my friends and not get winded going up a flight of stairs.... and I want to be able to look down and see my naughty bits again, without squishing or pulling on my tummy. I want to do a pullup. And sleep on my back without gasping for air.

Any words of encouragement are greatly appreciated! And anyone going through something similar with body image issues... or past trauma.

Thank you so much! :)
 
Zephyr,

At 24 you have your WHOLE life ahead of you and are well worth the time and effort of putting in the work!. I know that it seems like a long struggle to get the weight off and you mention you just don't have the energy and it feels like a punishment. I promise as a person just 8 months on the other side of surgery that your energy levels greatly improve and I am down 86 pounds. I am 44 years old, have 3 biological kids along with 2 bonus kids, work full time and go to school. I understand the want and need to be able to do things and be able to keep up with others, not being out of breath and feel a part of the crowd rather than just watching the crowd. I wanted to be able to do the things with the kids not just watch them. I want to be able to do things with the grandkids I know are coming (hopefully) soon not just sit and watch them play.
YOU can do this. Start jumping through the hoops needed to progress to surgery, loose those 15lbs and get STARTED on your NEW life. It is so worth it, especially at your young age. If I could do this at even 31 after my youngest was born I would have jumped at the chance, but I was scared and kept thinking I could do it all on my own. I want to encourage you to keep reaching out to the ladies and gents on this site cause I promise they are a wealth of information and support. I don't do a lot of talking on here but there are many that are here daily and their inspiration is wonderful and can push you thru some of your darkest hours!
 
I am 28F and completely understand. Where you are coming from. It’s so hard to come to the realization, and to ask for help. But you have started the first step, you made the appointment and asked for help. You CAN do this, you ARE, worthy!!! I have my fair share of trauma, in my early 20s, I am a DV survivor, on top of having the abuse, PCOS, etc, it was a drastic change seeing my body go from little to huge (in my opinion) that at 28 I decided to search for help to. Then to find this group and see so many others who have had a similar battle with food, and the process of going through similar things. Everyone is so helpful and encouraging. The main thing to remember is you can do this. I battle everyday like, will I be able to maintain the diet, so far I have. I take it a day at a time. Some things work. Some don’t. I had to ease into exercise and still struggle some. Some things that personally helped me were podcast, positive ones that help motivate you. I also really like beach body on demand for working out. Everything you can do at home. If you ever want to talk please message me & know we are all rooting for you!!
 
Thank you for the encouragement! It really means a lot. I appreciate it. It really does seem like such a long struggle. Usually large goals like this are fun for me. Like, finishing college or starting a PhD. Those are fun challenges. But I just feel silly for needing so much help to get to a place where so many people are at automatically. And I'm scared I won't be able to stick to this diet, I'm scared I will relapse after the surgery...

I'm trying to focus on the good parts of this though. I'm looking forward to having energy again! And I am trying to get to a place where I am equipped to deal with the coming challenges. I really want this to work.

Thank you again!
 
Welcome!! I’m glad you found the group. You are not alone in those feelings. I had bypass 10/2020, 2 days after my 38th birthday. It was the hardest and easiest choice I’ve ever made. I knew my life needed to change, and I kept blaming myself for not being able to fix it. But I knew deep down that I needed more help. I am so happy that I chose bariatric surgery. There are many supportive people in this group, and you can reach out on here anytime!
 
Emacc08 said:
I am 28F and completely understand. Where you are coming from. It’s so hard to come to the realization, and to ask for help. But you have started the first step, you made the appointment and asked for help. You CAN do this, you ARE, worthy!!! I have my fair share of trauma, in my early 20s, I am a DV survivor, on top of having the abuse, PCOS, etc, it was a drastic change seeing my body go from little to huge (in my opinion) that at 28 I decided to search for help to. Then to find this group and see so many others who have had a similar battle with food, and the process of going through similar things. Everyone is so helpful and encouraging. The main thing to remember is you can do this. I battle everyday like, will I be able to maintain the diet, so far I have. I take it a day at a time. Some things work. Some don’t. I had to ease into exercise and still struggle some. Some things that personally helped me were podcast, positive ones that help motivate you. I also really like beach body on demand for working out. Everything you can do at home. If you ever want to talk please message me & know we are all rooting for you!!
Click to expand...
Thank you so much! It means a lot to hear from someone around my age. I totally agree about seeing my body go from little to much bigger than I was used to. At my smallest (but still adult-sized) I was 170lbs and I thought I was so fat.... I know my body will never look like it did when I was 18 but I want to be strong again. I used to be stronger than most adults around me, when I was 16-18. I started rock climbing recently and I am seeing improvements. I guess that is something I should focus on more. I used to HATE any kind of exercise, due to some bad experiences in high school with a harsh and abusive gym teacher. I still don't love cardio, but I do really like rock climbing. When I started 3 months ago I couldn't climb any of the routes in the gym, and now I can do about 10% of them.

Anyway I went on a tangent, but thank you for your encouragement! I will keep you in mind if I need someone to talk to :)
 
Zephyr said:
Thank you so much! It means a lot to hear from someone around my age. I totally agree about seeing my body go from little to much bigger than I was used to. At my smallest (but still adult-sized) I was 170lbs and I thought I was so fat.... I know my body will never look like it did when I was 18 but I want to be strong again. I used to be stronger than most adults around me, when I was 16-18. I started rock climbing recently and I am seeing improvements. I guess that is something I should focus on more. I used to HATE any kind of exercise, due to some bad experiences in high school with a harsh and abusive gym teacher. I still don't love cardio, but I do really like rock climbing. When I started 3 months ago I couldn't climb any of the routes in the gym, and now I can do about 10% of them.

Anyway I went on a tangent, but thank you for your encouragement! I will keep you in mind if I need someone to talk to :)
Click to expand...


That is WONDERFUL! For me i want to be able to run again, and not be out of breath after two minutes, LOL!
 
3momchaos said:
Welcome!! I’m glad you found the group. You are not alone in those feelings. I had bypass 10/2020, 2 days after my 38th birthday. It was the hardest and easiest choice I’ve ever made. I knew my life needed to change, and I kept blaming myself for not being able to fix it. But I knew deep down that I needed more help. I am so happy that I chose bariatric surgery. There are many supportive people in this group, and you can reach out on here anytime!
Click to expand...


I hear this from SO many people "its the hardest and easiest choice ive ever made." ! im glad im not alone with that!
 
Zephyr, you mentioned being afraid you’d have the surgery and relapse. I totally understand that - I succeeded, at least for a time, on dozens of diets that I was on for 40+ years. Then, I failed every one (or they failed me, as my bariatric counselor said), only to gain more weight than I lost. The odds of relapsing after bariatric surgery, although possible, are much much less than conventional diets. I am so glad I did this. I wish I had done it 40 years sooner! Have heart. Have courage. Great things await you!
 
Welcome Zephyr. You have the hardest part done the 1st step knowing you need help and asking for it. You will have good days and bad days. Sometimes you may feel like quitting but don't you will have many good days. This is hard but you can do it. It may feel like you have to do a lot of jumping through hoops but you can do this. All the hoops will help you in the end.

Take one day at a time and one step at a time. You may need to find new things to do with your friends but they will be more fun than lunch.

I am doing more and love it. My husband and I are not doing Thanksgiving anymore we are going on vacation at this time the plan is every year. Vacation is way for fun than dinner.

You got this!!!!
 
Zephyr, I am glad you reached out to this group. All of your feelings of hope, joy, fear, and shame are so common with almost any of us that are journeying towards better health and a better quality of life.

Please continue to take this step-by-step, and we are here to encourage and support you if you will please stay with the group. Good luck!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top