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It’s been a sad and rough day…

Lesa Marie

Lesa Marie

Member
(Reposting here & don’t know how to delete in general chat). If you’ve read my other post you will know that I struggled a lot the first couple weeks (mainly emotionally) after surgery. After that things started looking up and I’ve been doing really well ever since. Today is a mixture of being overwhelmed homeschooling 3 kids (one who just started high school and one in pre-k), then having my youngest regress and act like he’s going through terrible 2’s again, hardly ever seeing hubby cause he works 6 days a week right now and the list just really goes on and on so I won’t bore you to death. Typically I would find something really good but unhealthy to eat to make myself feel better but now I feel like I’m in a dark room all by myself with no comfort in sight. My best friend (food) and security blanket is gone and I don’t mean like gone on vacation but gone gone. I’m sad, I’m lost and just feel really alone right now in my head. It hasn’t helped that I’ve been soooo hard on myself today for “only” losing 3 lbs this past week. I’ve lost less and I’ve also lost more some weeks. I can’t have my cake and eat it too so I either lose rapidly and not enjoy anything I like or I have them in moderation and lose slower. That’s just how it is and I need to except that. I don’t really have any questions today but just wanted to share my feelings going through this process. Maybe someone else going through this will not make them feel as alone as I do currently.
 
I'm sorry you are going through this right now, Lesa. I'd rip my hair out if I had to homeschool ANY kids lol It is really hard to get over the emotional aspect of eating. Some habits are just so ingrained that they're hard to get past. My mother told me today that she's been having an urge for a cigarette all week, even dreaming about smoking. She quit 25 years ago. Fortunately for her, she doesn't have to smoke.
You DO have to eat though. Remind yourself that food is fuel for your body, not a band-aid for your emotional well being. Try some actual self-care. Take a walk. Take a bath. Go for a mani/pedi. Take a drive after hubby finally gets home and the kids are in bed. Whatever it is that you enjoy (besides food), try to make the time to do it. I do understand that isn't exactly easy. You have to make time for yourself or you won't be any good to those who need you.
And as long as your weight is continuously going down and/or not going UP, you're doing great. Hang in there. Tomorrow will be a better day.
 
I’m really sorry you’re going through this. My anxiety and situational depression is really putting me through some things right now too. Im going for the easy things to eat rather than the right things to eat some days. While they aren’t horrible, I’ve accepted that 100% isn’t feasible for me. Sometimes Im 90%, sometimes Im 75%, and I do my best never to get under 50%, but I know that not every day is going to be bad or stressful or chaotic. For me, knowing that there’s the possibility of better days makes me want to keep up the “good fight” mentally. It’s not always easy, in fact some days are so hard that I’d rather just decide not to care, but then I’d be back where I was. You are stronger than you realize, you’re a great mom, and a great person. You’ll get through this.
 
I hit a slow spot about a month ago also where it did not seem like I was loosing much. The positive of these slow periods where your body readjusts is that it gives your skin a chance to catch up and you can take the time to nurse your skin. I found a local Hot Spring mineral spa to go relax for a few hours and my skin felt awesome after wards. Really you have to keep your mind busy if not your body during times like these. I listen to a lot of David Goggins and his life story. My big motivation take away is do something you really hate to do every day IMMEDIATLY when I think of it. Think of a new craft or hobby of interest? Don't sit and look it up online, go out and find a location that offers that and go there now, not tomorrow. Ever think about trying Ju Jitsu, go find a dojo, walk in and let them know your interested and if you can try a session and go roll and sweat like Joey Diaz. Want to try needle point, go find someplace that sells the stuff and look around. Yeah it's a sedentary hobby, but at least your keeping your hands and mind from being idle. Plan some inexpensive trips. I myself am planning to tube the Niobrara River on Sunday. I haven't river tubed since I was a kid and got covered with leeches. I'll drive 3 hours there, float down the river in the hot sun for 4 hours and not be able to drink a single alcoholic beverage and have to drive 3 hours back late. I'll manage to have fun and keep occupied for the $50 it costs for each of us. I found that planning little jaunts keeps me occupied and from worrying about anything having to do with weight loss a vast majority of the time.
 
Wendi70 said:
Must be something in the air, I am 2months post op and the last week has been constant cravings. Not hunger just looking at everyone's food and actually feeling sad (I may or may not then glare at the person eating it). It's been tough.
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I feel this 110%. I’m 9 weeks post op and I have had a couple days where I absolutely hate that I struggle with food like this. It doesn’t seem fair. I get mad that I even needed the surgery in the first place. A part of me wants so bad to eat those feelings but I can’t… not just because I physically can’t cause I would get sick but because something within is trying to protect me and tells me “this isn’t the way”. I put my body through something so traumatic and if I give up then it was all for nothing.
 
Wendi70 said:
Must be something in the air, I am 2months post op and the last week has been constant cravings. Not hunger just looking at everyone's food and actually feeling sad (I may or may not then glare at the person eating it). It's been tough.
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I've been craving two things also. Pizza, which I've tried but it's just not the same anymore. Thin crust is still the same and settles well. I think I'll get out my NY style crust recipe, Change out my artesian steel plate I use to cook pizza in my oven to a larger size and then order a larger wood and aluminum pizza peel to handle a larger NY style pizza. I think I may try adding a bit of unflavored protein to add to the crust and also try making a natural fermenting sour dough that develops it's own protein. Don't know if the dough will maintain the same properties needed for the thin style. Second craving I have been having is for a Cuban Montecristo #4 cigar. That cigar to me just tastes like smooth milk chocolate when I drink a glass of water or a rich chocolate milk with a cappuccino. I got a couple more weeks before I can try the cigar So I just drink a Fairlife protein shake while I socialize with friends while they smoke instead. I hit my 90 days out from surgery though and I'm trying that Monte though. :)
 
Lesa Marie said:
(Reposting here & don’t know how to delete in general chat). If you’ve read my other post you will know that I struggled a lot the first couple weeks (mainly emotionally) after surgery. After that things started looking up and I’ve been doing really well ever since. Today is a mixture of being overwhelmed homeschooling 3 kids (one who just started high school and one in pre-k), then having my youngest regress and act like he’s going through terrible 2’s again, hardly ever seeing hubby cause he works 6 days a week right now and the list just really goes on and on so I won’t bore you to death. Typically I would find something really good but unhealthy to eat to make myself feel better but now I feel like I’m in a dark room all by myself with no comfort in sight. My best friend (food) and security blanket is gone and I don’t mean like gone on vacation but gone gone. I’m sad, I’m lost and just feel really alone right now in my head. It hasn’t helped that I’ve been soooo hard on myself today for “only” losing 3 lbs this past week. I’ve lost less and I’ve also lost more some weeks. I can’t have my cake and eat it too so I either lose rapidly and not enjoy anything I like or I have them in moderation and lose slower. That’s just how it is and I need to except that. I don’t really have any questions today but just wanted to share my feelings going through this process. Maybe someone else going through this will not make them feel as alone as I do currently.
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I'm bipolar and had the same experience of becoming like that. It has been awful and I have to force myself to get up and eat my protein. I really feel for you because it is so hard when you really feel alone. But remember you are not!! Everyone is here for you. These forums have really helped me, finding out I am not the only one who has the same feelings and issues. Hope things are going better
 
Linda Pittsburgh said:
I'm bipolar and had the same experience of becoming like that. It has been awful and I have to force myself to get up and eat my protein. I really feel for you because it is so hard when you really feel alone. But remember you are not!! Everyone is here for you. These forums have really helped me, finding out I am not the only one who has the same feelings and issues. Hope things are going better
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Thank you, I appreciate this more than you know.
 
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