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Keeping The Weight Off aka The Long Term Struggle

I'm 38, my bariatric doc has been telling me for 3 years, "your getting close to 40." I say a lot of not nice things in my mind. I remember when I was going through the process of getting pregnant with my youngest at 32 how many times I heard "your advanced/geriatric maternal age."

I have gained about 10 back. I think I have a ton of food sensitivities that are causing issues..literally can intake much of anything with feeling constantly bloated. I know I am fine with gluten as that was tested a year ago.

Hormone replacement isn't the greatest on a body..especially if you dig into what some of the hormones are made of. Regardless. I cant have any replacement hormones period due to my blood pressure and migraines. I dread how much menopause will impact me because given whatever else is at play its super easy for me to bounce up 10 pounds in a day.
 
I swore I would age gracefully. Not in looks but in attitude and acceptance. Quite honestly I don't look my age. But I freaking FEEL it. And the changes in my body are really depressing. I'll live with the 5-10lbs. But they will give any man ANY MAN testosterone if it drops to the edge of normal. But a huge drop in estrogen? You'll live. "Women have been dealing with it for years." Never mind all the ways it affects your life and health. And they don't tell you NEARLY enough about what may happen to you. Difficulty sleeping? Low (to non existent) sex drive?!? Hot flashes!? Vaginal atrophy?!?! Night sweats?!? Bone loss?!!!??! I say bring on the HRT .. unless the side effects are certain death, I don't think I care.
 
missyinacage said:
Thanks for your responses. I truly feel so grateful to have this group and while my success is my own, I am not sure I could have been this successful without all of you. I personally know people who have gained the weight back and those who didn't lose as much as they want and struggle daily to just maintain a weight that they don't even want to be at. And we see so many come through here, embarrassed and ashamed, I'd like to see them stick around. I think the 2 of you hit the nails on the head with a few really good points.

Self-Talk! It can be the worst thing that ever happens to you. Repeating all those things the world tells you when you're overweight; you're weak, lazy, disgusting etc is a hard habit to break. And it's so easy to find new reasons to hate yourself or your body. (Saggy knees for example lol) I saw a comedian once say "How am I fucking up your SELF esteem?!? It has the word SELF in it!" And while we all know the answer to that, I try to talk myself up to myself. If I wouldn't say it to my kid, I try not to say it to me. That should be the rule; If you would not say it to you loved one; do not say it to yourself!

And the freaking word DIET should be banned; they've ruined it. We were all taught that fat is bad. Carbs are bad. Cholesterol? Bad. Remember when they told us to stop eating eggs? They add all these chemicals and sodium to our food and then tell us to worry about eggs?! I do not deny myself any food, not a single one. But once I started eating healthier (So jealous of your gardening skills El!!) I just don't like all those processed, sugar-y, salty foods so much anymore.

The relationships we have with ourselves and with food are lifelong. Like death and taxes, you cannot escape them. So it's no wonder that they take so much work.
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I’m a newbie here, and I have to say that I love the honesty. I came into this journey with my eyes wide open, but of course nothing can prepare you like life experience. It’s just as important to have space to be open and vulnerable for a veteran as it is a newbie and the more we know about the experiences of those who have gone thru this before us, the stronger and wiser we are going thru it. I look forward to being a veteran myself one day and (I know that’s a ways away) but having resources and honesty from folks like you all is so very helpful. In my own opinion, I think it’s healthy to have a little fear about the huge change this surgery is, and people should know that it’s filled with ups and downs (literally). It really is not a magic thing. It’s a TOOL and by remaining faithful to our bodies and what feels right for the individual success can really be achieved! Again, thank you for being honest and real.
 
Tokash said:
I have always been light headed. I'm pretty sure it's blood pressure related. Typically it's low 100/62. On the lowest day it's been 98/62. I have told all my docs and they brush it off. I eat the same breakfast and lunch daily. Dinner varies. Stress is huge and I know that but not much I can do to reduce it more than I am. I have a incredibly highly sensitive system and I'm always taking/feeling something. Since the doc appointment I have gone up 2 pounds and hovering close to 180 only change is increased water and doing a protein shake for lunch(never really ate lunch before). Generally, I give up. I will try walking more when it gets warmer but given it's mn. I'm always freezing and my joints hurt like crazy.
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I know this is a late response, and I’m not sure where in mn you are, but when I started my new health insurance a couple years ago, I saw 3 gp’s before finding one I felt really listened and wasn’t afraid to say, “let me look into that”, and actually got back to me! She’s in inver Grove heights and she’s young-ish but I really really appreciate her.
 
Christy0829 said:
I know this is a late response, and I’m not sure where in mn you are, but when I started my new health insurance a couple years ago, I saw 3 gp’s before finding one I felt really listened and wasn’t afraid to say, “let me look into that”, and actually got back to me! She’s in inver Grove heights and she’s young-ish but I really really appreciate her.
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I would love to know as i am in the hunt for a new provider and that isn't that far from me.
 
I got my food sensitivity results back...

Between that and learning I'm getting a pay cut it makes me wanna cry. Everything I eat is on the "no go" or "once every 4 days" list. I'm supposed to shift my eating and paying out of pocket for some services on a now reduced income. Grr

Aside from that...I have no clue what to eat because due to sensory issues my food choices are already very limited
 
Tokash said:
Yes slowly getting nicer but my walking buddy is on kennel rest awaiting evaluation in May for positive CCL surgery. Between this amd the lovely spring storm I'm waiting for the 3rd shoe to drop.
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missyinacage said:
I swore I would age gracefully. Not in looks but in attitude and acceptance. Quite honestly I don't look my age. But I freaking FEEL it. And the changes in my body are really depressing. I'll live with the 5-10lbs. But they will give any man ANY MAN testosterone if it drops to the edge of normal. But a huge drop in estrogen? You'll live. "Women have been dealing with it for years." Never mind all the ways it affects your life and health. And they don't tell you NEARLY enough about what may happen to you. Difficulty sleeping? Low (to non existent) sex drive?!? Hot flashes!? Vaginal atrophy?!?! Night sweats?!? Bone loss?!!!??! I say bring on the HRT .. unless the side effects are certain death, I don't think I care.
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I 1000% agree! YES to what you said- Difficulty sleeping? Low (to non existent) sex drive?!? Hot flashes!? Vaginal atrophy?!?! Night sweats?!? Bone loss?!!!??! I feel I'm past the night sweats, but will still have hot flashes during the day- ALWAYS at work! My OBGYN hasn't really talked about HRT, maybe because my symptoms haven't been totally unmanageable, YET! She did talk about how my obesity affects my estrogen levels. I need to revisit that topic to totally understand it. I haven't had a period in about 3 years which I am SOOOO grateful for as they were horrific. Maybe my joy in that has negated some of the feelings I have about my menopause symptoms!
 
After doing a follow up with my functional med doc I am currently doing gluten free and 98% dairy free. She request i cut back or eliminate many other foods but doing it all at once was overwhelming and certian trigger for feeling miserable.

My sensitivity test said I am moderately sensitive to gliatin. I am severely sensitive to amaranth. There must be some truth the the gliatin sensitivity. After just 3 days I dropped 5 pounds. I still feel very bloated but don't look as bloated.

Next up, eliminating eggs. What I learned....plant cheese isn't bad but it for sure isn't cheese.
 
I had food testing done back in 2014 I think. I was restricted from a lot of foods. I have learned what foods caused what reactions and now. Onions, very bad, cause pimples that are not pimples (no mush in them) I have actually cleared up the skin on my face by eliminating onion. When I was little I told my mom I didn’t like onion. When I got old enough and started eating onion my face was never clear with pimple spots that were hard. I would dig at them until it was out. Still hard to find replacement for onion to put in casserole recipes. I knew Corn and wheat mold from harvest were bad for me so they said gluten free would be best. Harvest season with the corn here affects me very hard. The face masks have helped me a lot during harvest. The day before my testing I had shrimp and I was itching like crazy so they took the only seafood I like away. I think eggs was on the list too. So these are the key foods I eliminated. I have reintroduced some of the foods I was sensitive to. I changed from 2% milk to lactose free, that was life changing and helped tremendously.. after posting I am editing this I started looking back at posts I have missed. I really needed the reminder and wisdom there. Thank you. Yes I have been baking bad food giving most away but still sneaking some along the way. I have researched a lot for high protein stuff and made some. A couple of recipes that were awful and some that were not that awful. I am needing to refresh myself with back to basics and logging. I will get there as I get my house back in order I can get me back in order too.
 
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I am glad that they've found something to help you. I didn't even know they could DO sensitivity testing. Years ago, I had to do an elimination diet to check for sensitivity. It sucked!

IDK if its diary or just the lactose that you are sensitive to but there are several cheeses that have little to no lactose naturally. Just something to think about, if you're not loving plant cheeses.
 
missyinacage said:
I am glad that they've found something to help you. I didn't even know they could DO sensitivity testing. Years ago, I had to do an elimination diet to check for sensitivity. It sucked!

IDK if its diary or just the lactose that you are sensitive to but there are several cheeses that have little to no lactose naturally. Just something to think about, if you're not loving plant cheeses.
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I have been mostly dairy free for several weeks. I don't really drink milk so that wasn't an issue. I have some new plant based protien come in the mail. Born and raised in WI cheese is the hardest, but it's actually been ok. I just bought some plant based stuff for tacos as a taco is not just meat.

I am allowed to have a small amount of dairy every 3rd day but I don't really use it at this point. Their recommendation was dairy as a whole not just lactose.

I would post a pic of the sensitivity test but this board always tells me my pics are too big. There are several levels of test but I just did the basic as is extreamly expensive and not covered by insurance. The basic covered 150 foods.
 
I get a ton of protein from dairy, as I'm not a big meat eater. So this would make me miserable lol

I'm actually in a pretty good place right now. I still measure and track at least a few days a week. It IS a hassle and I know some people hate to do it. But I don't seem to do fantastic just going with my instincts. I can eat more than I thought I'd be able to and I don't seem to have any dumping issues with anything (except hot fudge!). Which leaves it all up to me and my choices.

And I'd rather measure my foods and track them for the rest of my life than ever go back. I've lost a few of the ones I've gained. But I still am not back to my lowest. Which is fine. I'm still under my original goal weight and my clothes still fit.
 
i understand that people hate tracking, but i actually love it. and i don't track after-the-fact. i write down what i'm going to eat before i start my day, based on what i know is in my fridge already. Sometimes i even track an allowance of fast food if the rest of my foods are balanced.

for me, tracking ALWAYS results in weight loss. That's why i love it.
 
I also do best if I have a solid meal plan for the day. I do my weekly menu/grocery list on an excel spreadsheet LOL

It's too easy to make bad choices if you don't actually know where you're at. I try to keep my plan under goal do I have a little wiggle room.
 
I'm sorry that you're struggling. I just posted somewhere on here what I eat in a day. But it's pretty personal to taste preference. Once you figure out how many calories you need, there are a million menus online you can use to personalize a weekly menu to your own tastes.

And of course, I have to suggest measuring your food and tracking it. Even though everyone hates that part. No one has ever maintained weight loss without full awareness of what and how much they are eating.
 
I'm extreamly slowly coming to terms with gaining 10 pounds back. I don't like it but it is what it is. Iv been working with a nutritionist who is HAES oriented and for the first time ever has challenged me to accept the words "eating disorder." We have talked at length about provider not assessing for them before approving surgery, to which I also had to acknowledge that I know what to say and not say to a mental health provider. I have learned a whole lot about what a dx of atypical anorexia is and the additional factors that come when you don't "look" like you have a eating disorder because your not thin.

I have also started vyvanse which has been helpful but adds to the challenge at times. I'm learning a ton regarding the impact ADHD has on eating issues and the reality of a ADHDer having a eating disorder is very high.

I have decided I won't be working with my bariatic team for a long while and have been working hard to advocate for self and refusing being weighed at appointments.

It really is a long journey.
 
It was a struggle before surgery, surgery is not going to make the struggle go away. We just learn to look at it differently. It is crushing spiritually when the scale tips the wrong way for sure. You seem to me Tokash to be approaching your difficulty with determination and looking to turn things around, I applaud you in this. Hang in there, at least you have a place where you can get encouragement and support as you move through your journey.
 
I'm glad to hear that you're coming to terms with yourself. Still, keeping off the majority of the weight we've lost should be considered a success story!!
I know I have focused so hard on an exact number, to my mental detriment. I feel fantastic and I know I am not willing to give that up. So, a few pounds doesn't mean I'm bound to fail or whatever other negative BS my head feeds me. That's the REAL work, isn't it?
 
missyinacage said:
I'm glad to hear that you're coming to terms with yourself. Still, keeping off the majority of the weight we've lost should be considered a success story!!
I know I have focused so hard on an exact number, to my mental detriment. I feel fantastic and I know I am not willing to give that up. So, a few pounds doesn't mean I'm bound to fail or whatever other negative BS my head feeds me. That's the REAL work, isn't it?
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It's more than a few pounds for me, and every one the comes on the more the mind f*** the battle is. I'm fine until my clothing starts to feel tight....and it does(even though I'm told a lot of it is mental).

I have been on Vyvanse for a bit over a month and am taking weekend breaks. It's interesting to see how much ADHD really plays into poor eating habits. Makes me wonder if I was dx and had access when I was younger if maybe things wouldn't have became so bad.
 
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