Well, here I am at last, and trying so very hard to understand and remember all the information being dumped on me all at once.
But first, may I introduced myself.
I'm known as Finny to my friends and Officer Finlaw to all the folks I've met through my career of law enforcement in Ohio. I was forced to retire in 2010 due to my health. No longer able to quickly respond swiftly, and by the time I did get to a scene, I was not worth my salt. I had a very bad back, COPD, as well as PTSD, along with crippling panic disorder and rage. Not at all a good mix. When I retired, I was 5'8" and as strong as a train...buy how things change. To day I'm 5,6" and 310 lbs. I have trouble with warm weather when it gets above 65°, can not walk to my car with out a walker or at very least a cane. I stay in bed 95% of the time and my AC is set on 60 in my room. My back has several areas of damage to include spinal stenosis, ruptured disk, degenerative disk disorder and some other things I can't call to mind right now. I must use a walker or at very least a cane to walk the best I can.
I have trouble standing, walking, and just about all I could normally used to to do. This on it's own is bad enough, but it's really only the tip of the iceberg. Having PTSD is no joke, only two weeks ago a good friend his struggle with it with a gun shot, and honest, I have bee, close to that a good number of time. Only the love of my children, wife and grandchildren, and my faith stilled my hands and heart.
I'm now 5'6" and about 310 lbs. I don't do anything now day except read, watch a little tv, and make plans that I can't help but even mistrust myself. It's like my brain tells me I can do things I can't.
So, depression runs rampant in me. And I've learned to no longer tell someone I'll be there! I just don't know whats next. So I can't help but see this life I live closing in on me. I have no quality of life anymore.
I am hoping to hear that others are out here that can relate to me.
Even if its only a word of encouragement. But i have a long list of consernes and really hope some of you good people can help to put my heart to rest.
First I could really use some dietary ideas that I can start on now! The earliest dates for my surgery is late Oct and more likly November first.
I know this is goi g to be hard, so the sooner I can start the better.. but there is so little I can do now.because of my back pain!
I have another big concern! I take in the neighborhood of 40 pills a day,
By the sounds of things, I don't know how I'm going to handle taking my daily prescriptions. How does one address this problem? The only reson I'm still able to function at all is through these pain meds I really need to have. I'm sure I have a lot more questions but it quite late here.
Thank you if you took the time to read all of this. And if I could get a few pointers, I would be in your debt.
Thanks for this place to vent.
Finny
But first, may I introduced myself.
I'm known as Finny to my friends and Officer Finlaw to all the folks I've met through my career of law enforcement in Ohio. I was forced to retire in 2010 due to my health. No longer able to quickly respond swiftly, and by the time I did get to a scene, I was not worth my salt. I had a very bad back, COPD, as well as PTSD, along with crippling panic disorder and rage. Not at all a good mix. When I retired, I was 5'8" and as strong as a train...buy how things change. To day I'm 5,6" and 310 lbs. I have trouble with warm weather when it gets above 65°, can not walk to my car with out a walker or at very least a cane. I stay in bed 95% of the time and my AC is set on 60 in my room. My back has several areas of damage to include spinal stenosis, ruptured disk, degenerative disk disorder and some other things I can't call to mind right now. I must use a walker or at very least a cane to walk the best I can.
I have trouble standing, walking, and just about all I could normally used to to do. This on it's own is bad enough, but it's really only the tip of the iceberg. Having PTSD is no joke, only two weeks ago a good friend his struggle with it with a gun shot, and honest, I have bee, close to that a good number of time. Only the love of my children, wife and grandchildren, and my faith stilled my hands and heart.
I'm now 5'6" and about 310 lbs. I don't do anything now day except read, watch a little tv, and make plans that I can't help but even mistrust myself. It's like my brain tells me I can do things I can't.
So, depression runs rampant in me. And I've learned to no longer tell someone I'll be there! I just don't know whats next. So I can't help but see this life I live closing in on me. I have no quality of life anymore.
I am hoping to hear that others are out here that can relate to me.
Even if its only a word of encouragement. But i have a long list of consernes and really hope some of you good people can help to put my heart to rest.
First I could really use some dietary ideas that I can start on now! The earliest dates for my surgery is late Oct and more likly November first.
I know this is goi g to be hard, so the sooner I can start the better.. but there is so little I can do now.because of my back pain!
I have another big concern! I take in the neighborhood of 40 pills a day,
By the sounds of things, I don't know how I'm going to handle taking my daily prescriptions. How does one address this problem? The only reson I'm still able to function at all is through these pain meds I really need to have. I'm sure I have a lot more questions but it quite late here.
Thank you if you took the time to read all of this. And if I could get a few pointers, I would be in your debt.
Thanks for this place to vent.
Finny