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dianeseattle
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Welcome Cindy. You're six months out. How much weight have you lost?
You need to figure out why you are sabotaging yourself. I find affirmations are good to build a wall against negative thoughts, but you might need more than that. I have an exercise I found in a book titled "The Only Diet There Is," which is not a diet book per se, but "a diet against negative thinking."
Whether you're eating or not or watching tv or preoccupying yourself otherwise, get out a piece of paper (or use a journal, and keep using it) and draw a vertical line from top to bottom of a page. On the left side of the line, write an affirmation like, "I am beautiful." On the right side, argue with that by writing "I am ugly," or something similar. Go down to the next line and write, "I am beautiful." Again, on the right side, write an argument. Go down again. Write "I am beautiful" again. Go to the right column and write and argument again.
Keep doing this until your brains feel like scrambled eggs. Don't stop. If you feel resistance, fight it. Keep writing. When the negative isn't as strong as the positive, slow down and really allow the affirmation to repeat in your mind. Notice how ridiculous the argument sounds all of a sudden. You may have strong physical feelings as you do this. You may even need to stop and rest while it all rolls around inside your mind. That's okay. You can stop anytime. The thoughts have been planted. You're not going to forget them. Your thinking will change. Just don't stick something in your mouth because it might suddenly make you feel really ill.
Continue using the journal to write down the feelings you get while you're doing this. Don't look for a way to distract yourself from doing it. It's so easy to stuff food into your mouth. But you need to stop doing the easy thing, because that's your sabotage.
You are loved. Time for you to love yourself, and congratulating yourself, and setting new goals--small ones, big ones, short-term, long-term. The more minutes you occupy with thinking, writing, reading, reaching out, reciting affirmations, the sooner the truth will be stronger than your eating disorder. How brave you are, going through surgery and knowing how much that would change your life. That bravery is what defines you now. Buy yourself gifts you can't eat and if anyone is giving you a hard time, walk away proudly because you've done something most people could never do. SIX MONTHS!!!! You're a superstar. Tell yourself that.
Nice to meet you. Make sure you reach out to another soul who posts here who's suffering something you're familiar with. Helping others helps you.
You need to figure out why you are sabotaging yourself. I find affirmations are good to build a wall against negative thoughts, but you might need more than that. I have an exercise I found in a book titled "The Only Diet There Is," which is not a diet book per se, but "a diet against negative thinking."
Whether you're eating or not or watching tv or preoccupying yourself otherwise, get out a piece of paper (or use a journal, and keep using it) and draw a vertical line from top to bottom of a page. On the left side of the line, write an affirmation like, "I am beautiful." On the right side, argue with that by writing "I am ugly," or something similar. Go down to the next line and write, "I am beautiful." Again, on the right side, write an argument. Go down again. Write "I am beautiful" again. Go to the right column and write and argument again.
Keep doing this until your brains feel like scrambled eggs. Don't stop. If you feel resistance, fight it. Keep writing. When the negative isn't as strong as the positive, slow down and really allow the affirmation to repeat in your mind. Notice how ridiculous the argument sounds all of a sudden. You may have strong physical feelings as you do this. You may even need to stop and rest while it all rolls around inside your mind. That's okay. You can stop anytime. The thoughts have been planted. You're not going to forget them. Your thinking will change. Just don't stick something in your mouth because it might suddenly make you feel really ill.
Continue using the journal to write down the feelings you get while you're doing this. Don't look for a way to distract yourself from doing it. It's so easy to stuff food into your mouth. But you need to stop doing the easy thing, because that's your sabotage.
You are loved. Time for you to love yourself, and congratulating yourself, and setting new goals--small ones, big ones, short-term, long-term. The more minutes you occupy with thinking, writing, reading, reaching out, reciting affirmations, the sooner the truth will be stronger than your eating disorder. How brave you are, going through surgery and knowing how much that would change your life. That bravery is what defines you now. Buy yourself gifts you can't eat and if anyone is giving you a hard time, walk away proudly because you've done something most people could never do. SIX MONTHS!!!! You're a superstar. Tell yourself that.
Nice to meet you. Make sure you reach out to another soul who posts here who's suffering something you're familiar with. Helping others helps you.