New to the forums

[LittleTPlus3]

Hello all,
I am just over 12 weeks out of surgery. I never felt like I needed any support beyond my family before, or even immediately after surgery, but recently feels like I may just need that extra little bit of help. Which brings me here.

I have a wonderful, supportive wife and two young sons who are everything to me. Going on adventures with them is the absolute greatest, and have been excited recently that I've been able to do more with them.

My surgery has been successful which has allowed me to lose a big chunk of weight already, but very recently I've been having issues with my relationship with food which used to be my destressor and my comfort. I've been more on edge and less patient with my family and I can no longer fall back on that comfortable, full feeling..

Has anyone else had similar problems post-surgery? Want to find better ways to cope and divert my attention elsewhere. Hoping to find some others out there that can help.

Thank you!

 

[dianeseattle]

Hey T, welcome to your group! you belong here and we're happy to have you. You're already home.

I want to recommend a book to you that I've recommended many times. You don't have to turn many pages to get to the important one, about turning negative thoughts into positive or neutral ones. It's called The Only Diet There Is by Sondra Ray, and it's not about food. It's about dieting from negative thinking. It's an enjoyable read, and proactive, and very, very powerful. There are exercises you can use to de-stress and apply it to each person in your life.

You were using food to avoid your feelings. But feelings are just feelings. They're not actions. As to your actions, you are aware of them. That means you can change them. You might start by sharing your frustration with your family, first telling them youre feeling really bad and you are NOT asking for their judgment, just their support. Ask each one if that's possible, and if they can't refrain from judgment, ask them to keep their opinions to themselves. Then bring your supporters in close and thank them, let them know how important they are.

And congratulations on your weight loss to date. That is a monumental task, even if you have surgery to help.

You rock!

 

[missyinacage]

Congrats on your weight loss! I think it comes as a shock to many of us that our relationship with food went beyond just random overeating or being hungrier than other people. Its called comfort food for a reason lol We all have to learn new ways to deal with our emotions, other than stuffing them down with food.

This means you will now have to make the time to take care of yourself both emotionally and physically. And as supportive as family can be, people do not like change that is forced upon them. And the only thing that has changed in your family equation is you. My family had some difficulty learning that I was taking care of me first, so they were going too have to pick up some slack.

I go for mani/pedis. If thats not your thing, my best advice is to join a gym. Go work out, have a steam, take a swim, chill in the hot tub. It's a healthy way for you to distress and take some time for yourself.

 

[KarenWV]

Yes, congratulations on your success so far. Are you keeping up with your 64-80ozs of water and 60-90 gms of protein daily? How is your movement & exercise going? I track my daily water, medicine times, and food consumption in my handy spiral notebook. That might be a place for you to start. Many of us jot down our feelings too as a way to vent privately. You could try listing the reasons why you had surgery in the first place, and write down your nonscale victories (NSVs) because numbers on the scale are just a small part of post-surgery life.

I don't know if this will help at all, but you have made an excellent start. We are here to cheer you on, try to give practical advice or point you in the direction of helpful archived posts, and to provide a virtual shoulder to lean on if you need one. Good luck!