New YouTube Video - Shame & Guilt

[WazzuCoug]

Hi friends,

I've been adding new videos about my weight loss journey pretty reliably two or three times a week. This week I posted my 7-week update and talked a little bit about Guilt and Shame before and after weight loss surgery. This is somewhat about what I've been through, but I think many people who have fought obesity go through similar things. I think it important for people to know that weight loss surgery is not a cure for food addiction, emotional eating, depression, and such, no matter how successful we are during our journey. It can certainly help get with good feelings around success, but those negative emotions, addictions, and other feelings can come back even stronger.

If you haven't had your surgery yet, I'd take a deep self-reflection on contributing factors to your obesity and get some help addressing those issues before and continuing after surgery. It's been valuable for me to reflect and get support for these sorts of things. I think it's an important part of building a new relationship with food and myself.

If you are interested, here is the link:

If you visit my YouTube channel, please consider subscribing and feel free to leave a comment, etc.

Also, I recently reviewed some non-wheat pasta, and two of them had some really high protein and low carb counts, and they were all pretty tasty.

Here's a link to that one:

 

[dianeseattle]

I haven't looked at your video yet but your subject line made me want to say something I learned a long time ago. It was pretty enlightening.

Guilt is about what we've done. Shame is about who we are.

I think that is so true. I know that when I am ashamed it's an entirely different feeling than when I feel guilty. And shame is often the belief that drives an eating disorder. Not guilt. Shame about your body, your habits, the way you were raised, things that happened to you, shit your parents said to you, ridiculous religious constraints and all that stuff.

I mean, look what happened to Adam and Eve.

"... Adam and Eve were both originally naked, "but they were not ashamed." After they ate of the Tree of Knowledge [of Good and Evil] we are told that "the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked." [Internet source]"

First they are living in Paradise naked as jaybirds, and then they are cast out of the Garden of Eden and it is pointed out to them that they are naked and should be ashamed. I don't think there was ever a stronger message in my life than Adam and Eve. I was ashamed to be naked even in the bathtub, or when I was changing my clothes as a child. If anyone ever saw me naked, I wanted to die of shame.

I don't use those terms interchangeably. I can handle being guilty about something because I can do something about it, usually. I can make amends, and I am anxious to make amends.

But I can't allow myself to be ashamed of something, because it always goes back to a negative acceptance of myself from childhood, where my mom spent a great deal of time shaming us about our bodies. Never when we had clothes on. She always waited until we were naked and she could see everything. Then she just pointed everything out that we should be ashamed of. She was a very twisted woman.

And as a side note, I have subscribed to Ryan's video feed and have watched parts of a few videos (there are a lot there) and enthusiastically recommend them to everyone here.