flabbergasted
Member
Hello everyone! I've already had my gastric bypass and am almost 6 months out. I'm here to help based on my experience and give my humble opinion. I look forward to meeting you all pre-op or post op!
Newbie 6 months post-op
- Thread starter flabbergasted
- Start date
flabbergasted
Member
AliceWoolf
Member
Hello! Thank you for sharing your experience. How has your recovery been? How are you feeling?
flabbergasted
Member
My recovery has been great! I had very little pain after surgery. No problems eating or drinking at all except when I tried to reward myself with a chic fil a shake 2nd month (that didn't go well). I'm feeling great. So much more energy now and my knees and back don't hurt so much. The issue I'm having now is dealing with the hanging flab. I've lost 75lbs and it looks horrible. I don't think my skin has much bounce back left now at 50. My goal was to be lighter and healthier and stay that way. I knew I'd have to deal with the skin but now that I see it...eww. How about yours?
dianeseattle
Member
Yep. The flab was a lot worse than I thought it would be. But over years it has improved. I wear shorts and t-shirts and tank tops without fear. Of course, I also made changes to my own perceptions of myself. I found, over time, that the flab was far better than the big rolls of fat around my waist. The only place it was bad and remained bad was in my pannis. I inquired into having a panniculectomy but it's considered a cosmetic procedure. I'm in my 70s so vanity wasn't a factor. But that roll of flab that goes over the pannis is a perfect place for yeast to grow, so you have to stay super clean. That's not always possible when you're out camping or working in the yard, etc. and I've also had 3 different surgeres in that spot, so the scar on top of the scar on top of the scar can get infected and become a hot red line that hurts to wash.
I talked to my doctor about that and now have a standing prescription for 1% topical yeast infection cream which is cheap and easy to apply down there, and anywhere else around the pubis where the yeast can migrate.
If I came into a large sum of money I'd go for cosmetic surgery and a tummy tuck and all that, but since I'm poor, I use the pharmaceutical route.
Over time you may find your skin gets even flabbier, so do talk to your doctor all the time. The more you complain, the better your chances are of a cosmetic repair referral, even on your upper arms and thighs, but you'll be exchanging the flab for some pretty significant scars.
Best of luck to you and congratulations with your huge weight loss so far.
I talked to my doctor about that and now have a standing prescription for 1% topical yeast infection cream which is cheap and easy to apply down there, and anywhere else around the pubis where the yeast can migrate.
If I came into a large sum of money I'd go for cosmetic surgery and a tummy tuck and all that, but since I'm poor, I use the pharmaceutical route.
Over time you may find your skin gets even flabbier, so do talk to your doctor all the time. The more you complain, the better your chances are of a cosmetic repair referral, even on your upper arms and thighs, but you'll be exchanging the flab for some pretty significant scars.
Best of luck to you and congratulations with your huge weight loss so far.
missyinacage
Member
I figured my body wasn't perfect before and so it wouldn't be perfect after. I was also 50 when I had my surgery. It does smooth out some, but it's still not great. I can cover most of it with clothing so idc. If you think this is going to be something you're not going to be able to be happy with, start saving and researching the skin removal process.
AliceWoolf
Member
Loose skin is something that worries me as well. I have an appointment next Friday to see if I can have a round of BodyTite and Morpheus8 in my abdomen, arms and thighs to treat some laxity, though I understand it will be hard to actually prevent loose skin once I’ve lost more weight. Right now, my skin is not exactly sagging (noticeably) but previous stretch marks look wrinkled (therefore, much more obvious). I have been trying retinol body lotion, and it has really improved my skin quality, though I don’t really have much hopes for sagging. I am 31 years old, have never been pregnant and have decided to not have children, so, if I ever get to the weight I need to be, I will probably undergo surgery to remove excess skin. I am not there yet, since I have lost much less than you. (Congratulations on your weight loss!!! You must be so proud!!)
Anyway, I’m sure you look beautiful, but I do understand and share the insecurities. Are you planning on having your skin removed, once you have reached a stable weight?
My recovery has luckily been a breeze. I’m just over a month postop, so let’s see how that goes.
I agree about the loose skin. I still am far from my goal weight, and carried a lot of weight on my hips, backside and belly. My hips and belly are smaller now, but I still have a belly "paunch". I won't be able to afford surgery for excess skin. I sort of decided my body has never been ideal, so I will just manage with however things "shake out" with loose skin.
AliceWoolf
Member
I think I understand. There are many topical options to help with skin quality and they do make a difference. When you say you your body has never been ideal, are you talking about your weight? I have been overweight since puberty and obese for half of my life. I have been told repeatedly I would be pretty if I just lost weight. My mom is obese too, but she wasn’t always. I think she still remembers those as her golden days. She would make the most hurtful comments about us both. Obesity for me has been a lonely experience, for I feel both ashamed of my body and ashamed of the shame itself. I want to be body positive, and honestly believe beauty comes in every shape and color. Nevertheless, when I look at myself in the mirror, it feels so much like failure. In the end, since body positivity just was not working for me, I chose neutrality. Perhaps I cannot celebrate the form of my beauty, but maybe one day I will believe I am beautiful. I have never seen you, but you are working hard on and for yourself. That is beautiful.
I have been overweight since puberty and always struggle with self confidence. At age 50, I do want to be body positive too, and discuss this with my therapist. I feel like surgery was a good decision for me, and while I am taking the right steps with diet and exercise, I tend to be a harsh critic of myself. Being obese has felt like a lonely experience to me, too. Knowing I have these problems with self esteem, I try and tackle them in therapy, so that when I reach my goal weight, I hope to feel at ease and more confident.
AliceWoolf
Member
Obesity is a widely misunderstood desease.
Most people (including doctors) think of it as a choice, while science points to it being a metabolic disease. While it can certainly have behavioral aspects, those are not its roots. In women specially, who are judged by society on our looks, being overweight carries negative connotation about self-discipline, laziness and lack of care. Those conceptions tend to be false. I remember looking at myself in the mirror, and, as I got bigger and bigger, stopped making an effort altogether. It wasn’t laziness. It was clinical depression that nearly cost me my life. I could never feel beautiful. I got quietly angry at anyone who complimented me, thinking it was either pity or sarcasm, even if I knew the person saying those things most likely meant them.
The thing is, I wanted to feel pretty and confident. I wanted to be the person that takes a whole page to describe in books. I wanted to be the bones of poems. It felt ridiculous. It felt like I didn’t know my place. The thing I’ve discovered is that, no matter the number on the scale, beauty is really something I could never reach, for I always interpreted it as a standard as far away from myself as possible. It has nothing to do with size. It is the way I was taught to think about myself.
dianeseattle
Member
This is certainly true, and it can become a person's actual belief if they are brainwashed like this, every day.
But I'm not sure how this fits, but I know from childhood I have body dysmorphic disorder. I know this is categorized in the DSM-V as a mental illness, but that's where it gets confusing. I was constantly criticized from the day I was born, and most of it had to do with physicality. I'm just an ordinary looking person, and have been since childhood. But my mother was hypercritical, physically abusive and constantly harping at several of her children (I have five sisters and two brothers). She was mentally ill but convinced us she was the sane one and we were all defective. She idolized two of her daughters and spoiled them with excessive treats, while beating, slapping, punishing, grounding, literally whacking some of us across the room into a wall or door, even when we were adolescents. I never knew how serious it was until in the post-Vietnam era, the prisoner of war dynamic began to be studied. I know there will be an amount of self-esteem I'll never achieve because the mental control was so successful.
But aside from obvious abuse, I also have been diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder and bulimarexia.
That's a story it's not necessary to go more deeply into, but my self-image really was a lie my mother told me. Yeah, I've been in therapy since 1974. First attempt at self-destruction came when I was 17. No matter what the number was on the scale, I believed I was fat. No matter what size clothes I wore, I believed I was fat. And yeah, the expectation of society about how women should look was really bad.
I did find it helpful to measure myself and record the numbers. The neck is a great place to start in order to track weight loss. But keeping a journal in which you write and record affirmations is also helpful. Sometimes you can only believe what you see in black and white. Devour a new belief. Feed yourself love. Pig out on compliments. And if you have photos, they might help. I know a woman who made posters of herself because she needed that big a reminder that she was actually beautiful.
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AliceWoolf
Member
I am so sorry about your experience. Every person deserves to be cherished and loved unconditionally.
The scars of hypercritical mothers are particularly damaging on women, and continue to dictate much of our self concept as adults. After learning that, no matter how hard we try, it just won’t be enough, we start to punish ourselves for not meeting impossible standards.
I am very glad you are getting help and learning to live peacefully with yourself. I hope you have become kinder to yourself too, as difficult as it is. You deserve to be happy. Right now, I am one month and twenty days post op and have been tracking my weight and measurements. I still feel like I am not losing enough, and the possibility of failure terrifies me. I have decided to document my progress and to live as normally as I can. I did this because I wanted to be healthier, that is true. But I also wanted to look at myself and not be ashamed of the reflection staring back. Maybe I’ll get there.
The scars of hypercritical mothers are particularly damaging on women, and continue to dictate much of our self concept as adults. After learning that, no matter how hard we try, it just won’t be enough, we start to punish ourselves for not meeting impossible standards.
I am very glad you are getting help and learning to live peacefully with yourself. I hope you have become kinder to yourself too, as difficult as it is. You deserve to be happy. Right now, I am one month and twenty days post op and have been tracking my weight and measurements. I still feel like I am not losing enough, and the possibility of failure terrifies me. I have decided to document my progress and to live as normally as I can. I did this because I wanted to be healthier, that is true. But I also wanted to look at myself and not be ashamed of the reflection staring back. Maybe I’ll get there.
dianeseattle
Member
Thank you, Alice. I'm actually doing great, emotionally. I've kept all that weight off for years, I eat normally, I spend most of my time re-casting negatives into positives. As an example of what I was talking about and the kind advice you gave to me, I'm going to turn your post into a list of affirmations. This is something all of us can do, just by taking our words or the words of someone else and giving them a positive spin:
I have become kinder to myself;
I deserve to be happy.
I track my weight and measurements.
I am losing weight
The possibility of success thrills me.
I document my progress and live normally
I am on the road to be healthier
When I look at myself in the mirror, I am not ashamed of the reflection staring back.
I’ll get there joyfully and in the right amount of time
It's kind of amazing how deep the meaning in our words can be.
It's also amazing how being kind to someone else can breeze kindness back on to ourselves.
Most of us have a pretty significant piece of time available to us every day, or several times a day, and we can fill those spaces with self-love. It's just as powerful to speak kindly to ourselves as it is to be depressed and angry when we catch a glimpse in the mirror. Every positive wipes out a negative. I know this is true because I've improved so much over the years, not just by achieving weight loss, but by catching those negative bugaboos before they get planted in my brain, and replace them with positives.
Thank you.
allhopeful
Member
I am a little jealous - I am having such a hard time introducing foods ( only 4 weeks out) - any pointers on not feeling nauseous - I am having a really hard time - and feeling awful daily.
dianeseattle
Member
Sorry you're feeling bad, Hopeful. That's typical post-op, but my doctors gave me a couple of anti-nausea meds. It's really important that you stay nourished, so call your team right away and get some prescriptions. Some of us suffer more than others and you really need to be able to eat and move through the various food stages.
Really, call your team right away.
missyinacage
Member
Yes, all hopeful. Call your team! They can absolutely give you something for nausea. That being said, it is fairly normal to have issues adding foods early on.
Try adding only 1 food at a time, for a few days. Also, when I got to a new food stage I only ate that stage for dinner. So, liquid or soft breakfast, lunch, snacks whatever. It can be hard to adjust to the new stages, so take your time. You may need to have a liquid or soft meal for several more weeks before you're healed enough to manage 3 meals of solid food. You'll feel better soon!
Try adding only 1 food at a time, for a few days. Also, when I got to a new food stage I only ate that stage for dinner. So, liquid or soft breakfast, lunch, snacks whatever. It can be hard to adjust to the new stages, so take your time. You may need to have a liquid or soft meal for several more weeks before you're healed enough to manage 3 meals of solid food. You'll feel better soon!
flabbergasted
Member
I don't think I'll ever be happy with the hanging flab, but I am already much happier than I was 75lbs ago. I feel much better, though my self esteem hasn't boosted like I'd hoped because I'm self conscious about my turkey neck neck now that It has deflated. I think it's just a matter of getting used to it. If I were rolling in dough I'd consider surgery. But for now I'll take the flab. It's a small price to pay vs being morbidly obese and feeling horrible all the time.