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not bad for a senior citizen

Oh, I know Art already. S/he works at C&P Coffee, the shop I've frequented for 20 years, as does Avery (on occasion--they adore him). They keep me abreast of things like how Artie's moustache is coming in, and apparently there's surgery on the horizon, as my son said, "I'm really going to miss thoes boobies." I am avoiding outside contact, period, as this virus keeps mutating, and seriously, does anyone believe a paper mask will keep virus away? Surgeons wear them, but they also scrub with antibacterial soap up to the elbows and are dressed by scrub nurses with gloves. If they are touched while operating, they change gowns and gloves immediately. And operating rooms are scrubbed and machines covered in plastic to create a sterile environment. Then they dispose of every item and their instruments are boiled.
 
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dianeseattle said:
I actually called my son yesterday and asked him (and Art, if s/he is free) to go hike Cougar Mountain, a friendly urban destination in the town of Issaquah. There's also an amazing bakery there, so I'll probably get a great loaf of bread (or something, wink wink...)

I've got to ask Art which pronoun to use while s/he's transitioning. As an honors student in English from 1st grade through college, I refuse to be forced into using a plural pronoun for a single entity. I'm happy to use "he" if it honors him/her.

Does anyone have any advice for me in my situation? I'm so happy Avery found someone he loves so much. Art is such a strong, straightforward person. But I don't feel included in Art's life. We have nothing in common.

Sort of went on a tangent, but it's for real. I'm distracted and feel incompetent.
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first do ask what He/She would like to go by.

My guess is to be called the gender Art is transitioning to. I have worked with a few people who have transitioned, One I was very close too at one point I met her as Jamie and she started to transition and stated going by James. this makes it easy for me any way to have Jamie was a she and James is a he.

I do find when I would talk about something we did when she was Jamie I end up saying she. not out of disrespect but out of memory Then if it is something newer I think of James and my mind goes to He.

Happy your son has found his person to be happy with. I think the more you spend time with Art you will find something to talk about or something new to learn about.

Have fun on your hike. I can't wait until it cools off so I can go on my nice long hikes.
 
I used to work in fundraising for the ballet. My cubicle-mate was transitioning to female. That means he was taking a shitload of female hormones, and ladies, you know how bad PMS can be.

He was gorgeous, regardless of gender. I liked him very much, but didn't know anything about transexuality. one day I said, "Your voice is so nice. You sound like Jeff Bridges."

He burst into tears and ran outside. I followed, not realizing I'd hurt him. He explained it to me and I was so sorry. That was the last time I made that faux pas.

But really, the bigger issue is to point anything out at all. I don't go around telling people they look so feminine, or fat, or that their makeup is lovely. I sure as hell never say anything to a man unless we're close friends.

Now I look for cues before I cross a line into intimacy. It's a complicated world we live in, so I try always to remember etiquette and follow it. That means I bridle myself, which makes me sad, but better that than crush a soul with a thoughtless word.

I will ask Art if we can speak about the subject, because I truly want to be educated. Surely a lot of people have had to figure out how to talk to me, and many have just avoided it. I can change a habit but not my personality.

But I approach every acquaintance with eagerness to love and be loved. We are all we have, and loved ones are treasure.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
 
dianeseattle said:
I used to work in fundraising for the ballet. My cubicle-mate was transitioning to female. That means he was taking a shitload of female hormones, and ladies, you know how bad PMS can be.

He was gorgeous, regardless of gender. I liked him very much, but didn't know anything about transexuality. one day I said, "Your voice is so nice. You sound like Jeff Bridges."

He burst into tears and ran outside. I followed, not realizing I'd hurt him. He explained it to me and I was so sorry. That was the last time I made that faux pas.

But really, the bigger issue is to point anything out at all. I don't go around telling people they look so feminine, or fat, or that their makeup is lovely. I sure as hell never say anything to a man unless we're close friends.

Now I look for cues before I cross a line into intimacy. It's a complicated world we live in, so I try always to remember etiquette and follow it. That means I bridle myself, which makes me sad, but better that than crush a soul with a thoughtless word.

I will ask Art if we can speak about the subject, because I truly want to be educated. Surely a lot of people have had to figure out how to talk to me, and many have just avoided it. I can change a habit but not my personality.

But I approach every acquaintance with eagerness to love and be loved. We are all we have, and loved ones are treasure.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
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Thank the Lord your son has such a caring, compassionate, and thoughtful mother. And I'm sure his partner will learn to treasure you as well! ❤❤
 
Diane, I'm sure it will be fine. The people I have met who are or have transitioned tend to be very forgiving if you accidentally mess up their preferred pronoun. They understand that it's an adjustment for you too. The problem lies in those bigots who insist on using the old one. If you address Art with an open heart, I am sure you will be fine.
 
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