Nutritionist is gaslighting me!

[K.Wilson0507]

I'm 3 weeks post op and I've haven't been hungry until the last two days. I still have 3 weeks before I'm allowed to eat pureed foods! My nutritionist keeps telling me it's head hunger or gas pains when I know it's not! I've had the gas pains and I've fought head hunger a lot in my life, this is not either of those. Why won't she listen to me? People gaslighting me feels like a toxic relationship and it makes me hate her.
I know they run into ppl who just want what they want so they lie but I'm dedicated to this, so much so that I lost over 100 lbs before surgery just to prove to myself I was committed enough. I started out at 384 and was at 263 on surgery day. None of this seems to matter to them though, I'm just a liar.

 

[mam]

I had my sleeve surgery in January and am 4 months out. At 3 weeks post op, I was eating oatmeal, yogurts, applesauce, chocolate pudding, popsicles, protein shakes, soups, broth, a few spoonfuls of mashed potatoes. Is there a specific reason the nutritionist provided you for the parameters she/he gave you?
I'm sorry you feel the dietician is not taking you seriously. I did not feel any hunger pains for a long time after my surgery but that is just my individual experience and have read others who felt hungry even 7 days after their surgery. Are you only subsisting on protein shakes at 3 weeks out? Or are you trying out any of the foods I listed above and still feeling hungry? I wish you well and am sorry you are struggling.

 

[K.Wilson0507]

I had my sleeve surgery in January and am 4 months out. At 3 weeks post op, I was eating oatmeal, yogurts, applesauce, chocolate pudding, popsicles, protein shakes, soups, broth, a few spoonfuls of mashed potatoes. Is there a specific reason the nutritionist provided you for the parameters she/he gave you?
I'm sorry you feel the dietician is not taking you seriously. I did not feel any hunger pains for a long time after my surgery but that is just my individual experience and have read others who felt hungry even 7 days after their surgery. Are you only subsisting on protein shakes at 3 weeks out? Or are you trying out any of the foods I listed above and still feeling hungry? I wish you well and am sorry you are struggling.

I'm only allowed protein shakes until week 6. They didn't give me a reason why other than carbs make you fat. Even with that I'd think scrambled egg or canned tuna would be ok? It's frustrating though. I don't want to go against them but I feel like I'm starving.

 

[mam]

Wow, it sounds like they have you on a really restrictive plan. I was given a guide that outlined specific foods I could eat at each stage of recovery, and by week 6, they gave clearance to try regular foods. Come to think of it, I did have some eggbeaters at weeks 3-4. Would it help for you to check with your surgeon or the surgeon's physician assistant on acceptable foods? To only survive on protein shakes for 6 weeks straight seems extreme to me. I started slowly with trying out foods, but I definitely had oatmeal and yogurts, etc. at weeks 3-4. I cannot offer medical advice, I can only share my experience. And my stomach was fine eating yogurt/oatmeal, etc at week 3-4.

 

[Intelligentslug]

I think some dietitians are so gung ho about eating healthy and take this opportunity to guide us towards THEIR view of how to live because their own life is based on extreme physical health. They live it. They work it. I don’t believe they understand emotional eating. Yes we “surgery havers” want to be healthy but do not necessarily want to be extreme. We want to eat less, make healthy choices and ENJOY our food in a balanced way.

 

[mam]

The dieticians I have encountered so far have been aggressive about meeting daily protein goals and water intake. Maybe I have been lucky so far with the team I had (surgeon/PAs/nutrionists). They did warn me about reintroducing juice to my diet, but I only drink cherry juice every other day and it's purely for the added fiber to my diet. She warned me a lot about keeping sugar intake to a minimum, which I do. I think they all want us to succeed and not find ourselves gaining all the weight back. I have lost about 60 pounds in 4 months. Now it's coming off slowly, which is fine with me.

 

[dianeseattle]

I'm only allowed protein shakes until week 6. They didn't give me a reason why other than carbs make you fat. Even with that I'd think scrambled egg or canned tuna would be ok? It's frustrating though. I don't want to go against them but I feel like I'm starving.

I'm sorry you feel the dietician is not taking you seriously. I did not feel any hunger pains for a long time after my surgery but that is just my individual experience and have read others who felt hungry even 7 days after their surgery. Are you only subsisting on protein shakes at 3 weeks out? Or are you trying out any of the foods I listed above and still feeling hungry? I wish you well and am sorry you are struggling.

What mam said.

 

[K.Wilson0507]

Wow, it sounds like they have you on a really restrictive plan. I was given a guide that outlined specific foods I could eat at each stage of recovery, and by week 6, they gave clearance to try regular foods. Come to think of it, I did have some eggbeaters at weeks 3-4. Would it help for you to check with your surgeon or the surgeon's physician assistant on acceptable foods? To only survive on protein shakes for 6 weeks straight seems extreme to me. I started slowly with trying out foods, but I definitely had oatmeal and yogurts, etc. at weeks 3-4. I cannot offer medical advice, I can only share my experience. And my stomach was fine eating yogurt/oatmeal, etc at week 3-4.

I'm going to try again to get her to guide me towards towards something other than shakes on Monday. This has truly helped me cause I was feeling insane. I thought everyone else was having to do the same as me and I was the only one that just wasn't adequate enough to handle it. Thank you for making me feel less crazy and have less self doubt, it means more to me than I can even put into words.

 

[Mimi K]

I'm 3 weeks post op and I've haven't been hungry until the last two days. I still have 3 weeks before I'm allowed to eat pureed foods! My nutritionist keeps telling me it's head hunger or gas pains when I know it's not! I've had the gas pains and I've fought head hunger a lot in my life, this is not either of those. Why won't she listen to me? People gaslighting me feels like a toxic relationship and it makes me hate her.
I know they run into ppl who just want what they want so they lie but I'm dedicated to this, so much so that I lost over 100 lbs before surgery just to prove to myself I was committed enough. I started out at 384 and was at 263 on surgery day. None of this seems to matter to them though, I'm just a liar.

I totally relate to this. I was absolutely starving on the liquid diet. The first few days or so were ok, but my body was begging for food and nurishment. I wanted anything and everything, and found it very difficult to stay on liquids. As soon as I was able to inroduce purees, it started to subside, but I still wanted more than I could have at each stage. By week 6 I was eating regular foods, and my body was so thankful. You should be plenty ready for purees by now.

 

[mam]

Wow, Mimi, I'm sorry to read you encountered this too. I think Diane pointed out something very important which is to always ask WHY the dietician is making their recommendations. Thinking back to my appointments I've had so far, I guess the dietician seemed overly concerned about my adding a small glass of cherry juice to my diet, but since I don't add sugar to my coffees and follow their guidance, I am not stressing about incorporating the cherry juice. @K. Wilson, I hope you can have a discussion with your dietician soon. Are they available through phone or email as opposed to waiting for a formal appointment?

 

[Mimi K]

Wow, Mimi, I'm sorry to read you encountered this too. I think Diane pointed out something very important which is to always ask WHY the dietician is making their recommendations. Thinking back to my appointments I've had so far, I guess the dietician seemed overly concerned about my adding a small glass of cherry juice to my diet, but since I don't add sugar to my coffees and follow their guidance, I am not stressing about incorporating the cherry juice. @K. Wilson, I hope you can have a discussion with your dietician soon. Are they available through phone or email as opposed to waiting for a formal appointment?

I was told why - In order for the stomach to heal properly, and to reduce the work the stomach has to do, you need to do liquids for a while. Then purees, and no chunks that could get stuck in the staple lining. I pushed the soft foods stage because I was so hungry. But Mam, I am almost 6 months out now and I can eat anything that I want, just very little of it.

 

[Intelligentslug]

This may have been said already but I am 2 weeks out and was feeling desperately hungry. I increased my protein (through protein powder) and it helps immensely. Do I like the protein shakes? NO. Do I feel satisfied? NO. But I don’t feel that desperate hunger.

 

[Dawn58703]

Wow! Do we have the same nutritionist? Mine only says two things to me, "It's gas from the anesthesia or it's head hunger" and "no, you can't have that." I complained about her through the proper chain of command and went to my family physician and had a bunch of tests run and turns out it was gas pains that time. After that I just slowly followed the plan they gave me and if I felt ready for the next step I tried the tiniest bit of what was on the list. If it was ok and didn't hurt or come back up, I figured I was ok. I've only thrown up once in all this time and that's when I ate teeny tiny bite of turkey before time. LOL It was Thanksgiving and I cooked so I wasn't not having any. Worth it? Hmmm...not really, because it came up instantly. I stopped speaking to my nutritionist not because she's not knowledgeable or right or doing what's in my best interest, but because I think I know what's best for me. I go see my current doctor or speak to my surgeon, but mostly I have learned to follow the guidelines on my own that were set forth after I had my surgery. I got dehydrated or felt like it and that makes me tired and sleep a lot and gives me diarrhea and for some reason it also makes my stomach hurt which makes me think I'm starving to death. I'm really not. Sound familiar? Head hunger?? Indigestion??? I went to a hydration spa and had a hydration iv with vitamins and minerals etc. It was a medical spa and the IV I selected with the help of the doctor and nurse at that spa was specially created for bariatric patients like me with my particular symptoms. I felt like a million bucks when I left. Because I don't always stay on track (this new life style is hard for me), I think it's probably time for another IV infusion to rehydrate, but that's just something I do for myself now because I don't eat out, I don't drink or party, I don't have expensive hobbies or a gym membership or any debt. Got to spend my discretionary money on something so I chose that. We eat to live now, not the other way around. Go see a doctor. You might ask about a hydration spa and see what your doctor thinks. Mine thought it was a great idea and my last labs were fantastic. I was on 21 medications in November 2022 when I had my surgery and I'm only on 5 now and am down 90 lbs. I wish you all the best and good health~

 

[mam]

I agree, it can be tough to work with medical professionals who are one track minded. My PCP has a unilateral focus on weight issues. She is older,all and slim and even after I saw her post surgery, her only comment is that I don't seem to be losing weight "all that fast" so to watch what I eat like a hawk, and get down to 160 pounds. This is the number she has told me now for several years. I've considered switching PCPs to find one with a different approach to weight, but it's so hard to find one in the greater Boston area who is accepting new patients. I don't think she will be pleased until she sees the number 160 on my scale. 4 months out, I feel losing 60 is an accomplishment on my part, and even if I am losing slowly, I am okay with it.

 

[Karen D]

I really dislike when a doctor or in your case nutrionist Doesn’t listen to you. I had a knee replacement and fell. I hurt my knee but do you think I could get a dr to believe that it was hurting. Finally found a wonderful dr. That listened to me, did. tests and found out I had cracked the inside of replacement. It took me 4 dr. To find this out. Had to have a new knee put in but I was so grateful he listened to me. I’m a firm believer that we know our bodies better than anyone. Continue to ask questions until you get an answer you are happy with.

 

[mam]

I agree with Karen. If I could find someone who recommended their PCP and the PCP was accepting new patients, I would transfer, but it's really hard in the immediate Boston area, due to the shortage of PCP's and therapists/social workers. We are blessed with plenty of specialists here! And Karen, I'm so sorry you had to go through 4 doctors to find one willing to address your pain.

Is it possible you can change to a different dietician? I wouldn't say that my dietician is "ideal" but she is very accessible and issues a lot of cautions/warnings about foods, but I am honest with her on everything I eat and never has she said "no carbs at all". She does seem to be a hawk about sugar.

 

[K.Wilson0507]

Thank you all for your input, I was feeling crazy and defeated but after this I'm doing much better mentally. I ate a small amount and it helped tremendously. I was getting weak and putting nothing but fake sweet things in my body was making it hard to keep my hydration up. Every time I drank a shake I'd want to vomit cause I'd only had those for an entire month.. now that I'm eating small amounts of savory soft food, I'm able to hydrate and drink a shake for added protein without wanting to throw up. I think maybe you all have literally saved my life

 

[mam]

I am so glad to hear this, K. Wilson! My own surgeon wants his patients not relying on shakes as quickly as it's possible. Personally, I haven't found a shake that I "love" but 4 months out, I still have them but not every day. I am never hungry for lunch after having a high protein yogurt for breakfast, and both the doctor and the dietician said it's important to have something and recommended having a shake. On days where I just don't think I want a shake, I have a banana. Keep hydrating and resting!

 

[Learning and growing]

Wow! Do we have the same nutritionist? Mine only says two things to me, "It's gas from the anesthesia or it's head hunger" and "no, you can't have that." I complained about her through the proper chain of command and went to my family physician and had a bunch of tests run and turns out it was gas pains that time. After that I just slowly followed the plan they gave me and if I felt ready for the next step I tried the tiniest bit of what was on the list. If it was ok and didn't hurt or come back up, I figured I was ok. I've only thrown up once in all this time and that's when I ate teeny tiny bite of turkey before time. LOL It was Thanksgiving and I cooked so I wasn't not having any. Worth it? Hmmm...not really, because it came up instantly. I stopped speaking to my nutritionist not because she's not knowledgeable or right or doing what's in my best interest, but because I think I know what's best for me. I go see my current doctor or speak to my surgeon, but mostly I have learned to follow the guidelines on my own that were set forth after I had my surgery. I got dehydrated or felt like it and that makes me tired and sleep a lot and gives me diarrhea and for some reason it also makes my stomach hurt which makes me think I'm starving to death. I'm really not. Sound familiar? Head hunger?? Indigestion??? I went to a hydration spa and had a hydration iv with vitamins and minerals etc. It was a medical spa and the IV I selected with the help of the doctor and nurse at that spa was specially created for bariatric patients like me with my particular symptoms. I felt like a million bucks when I left. Because I don't always stay on track (this new life style is hard for me), I think it's probably time for another IV infusion to rehydrate, but that's just something I do for myself now because I don't eat out, I don't drink or party, I don't have expensive hobbies or a gym membership or any debt. Got to spend my discretionary money on something so I chose that. We eat to live now, not the other way around. Go see a doctor. You might ask about a hydration spa and see what your doctor thinks. Mine thought it was a great idea and my last labs were fantastic. I was on 21 medications in November 2022 when I had my surgery and I'm only on 5 now and am down 90 lbs. I wish you all the best and good health~

Congratulations on all your progress.

I feel like my nutritionist just won't to get the video visits over with and doesn't really care about what I think or feel and didn't really offer. Any suggestions. What do you suggest as far as questions, comments or other concerns?

 

[Roni]

Congratulations on all your progress.

I feel like my nutritionist just won't to get the video visits over with and doesn't really care about what I think or feel and didn't really offer. Any suggestions. What do you suggest as far as questions, comments or other concerns?

I feel you on the video visits, my psychologist makes me feel like she has no time for the video visits. We don’t talk like we used to at in office visits.