Darci Shannon
Member
Hello all,
Ill be 2 years out in June and I'm not even close to where I need to be. I stopped caring and went back to old habits. I was upset with my surgery from day 1. Right after surgery I could chug water. I woke up hungry. Once I progressed to soft foods I would eat the recommend amount. 1/4 cup of high protein. I was still hungry. Stomach growling hungry. Eventually I progressed to solid foods and I continued the 1/4 cup. after only a few days on solids I got tired of being hungry all the time so I decided to see how much I could eat until my stomach told me I was full. I ate 1 and a half cups of food!!! Chicken with boiled carrots and I continued to eat about 1400 calories from that day forward. Weight loss stood still so I worked out until I wanted to vomit. I cried all the time and was depressed. I finally went back to the doctors office and they said well just don't eat that much stick to the 1/4 cup. Then I said why did I pay all this money for a surgery to still be hungry and never feel full?? So their bright idea was to give me phentermine. I took it and ended up in the hospital with heart problems. My resting heart rate was 140bpm. I did counseling and went on antidepressants. I thought I was doing well. I started to lose weight again and then out of no where I started to binge eat. Cookies, pasta, chips, chocolate pies. Then I thought about just throwing up after every meal. I'm so angry that the most expensive thing I've paid for to take care of myself has been a disaster. I'm mad that everyone that was against me having the surgery has the smug "I told you so" face. I really don't know what to do at this point. I've had very little support and I've become anti-social. I don't leave my house. I don't even go to the store to shop anymore. I order my food online and do grocery pick-up. I have to drive my daughter to Day School twice a week at our church and sometimes I don't get out of bed to take her. I can't sleep at night. I try to fall asleep and I toss and turn. I end up falling asleep at 2am and then I sleep until noon. When I force myself to wake up at 7am I will stay awake all day, but when bed time rolls around I still can't sleep until about 2am even if I've been dragging all day long. I've seen doctors who tell me I'm depressed, that I'm bi-polar that I need this vitamin or this prescription. I just don't know how to function anymore. I'm hoping to find a motivational friend or some epiphany here on this site. I'm sorry it's such a long post. I just don't know where to go from here.
Ill be 2 years out in June and I'm not even close to where I need to be. I stopped caring and went back to old habits. I was upset with my surgery from day 1. Right after surgery I could chug water. I woke up hungry. Once I progressed to soft foods I would eat the recommend amount. 1/4 cup of high protein. I was still hungry. Stomach growling hungry. Eventually I progressed to solid foods and I continued the 1/4 cup. after only a few days on solids I got tired of being hungry all the time so I decided to see how much I could eat until my stomach told me I was full. I ate 1 and a half cups of food!!! Chicken with boiled carrots and I continued to eat about 1400 calories from that day forward. Weight loss stood still so I worked out until I wanted to vomit. I cried all the time and was depressed. I finally went back to the doctors office and they said well just don't eat that much stick to the 1/4 cup. Then I said why did I pay all this money for a surgery to still be hungry and never feel full?? So their bright idea was to give me phentermine. I took it and ended up in the hospital with heart problems. My resting heart rate was 140bpm. I did counseling and went on antidepressants. I thought I was doing well. I started to lose weight again and then out of no where I started to binge eat. Cookies, pasta, chips, chocolate pies. Then I thought about just throwing up after every meal. I'm so angry that the most expensive thing I've paid for to take care of myself has been a disaster. I'm mad that everyone that was against me having the surgery has the smug "I told you so" face. I really don't know what to do at this point. I've had very little support and I've become anti-social. I don't leave my house. I don't even go to the store to shop anymore. I order my food online and do grocery pick-up. I have to drive my daughter to Day School twice a week at our church and sometimes I don't get out of bed to take her. I can't sleep at night. I try to fall asleep and I toss and turn. I end up falling asleep at 2am and then I sleep until noon. When I force myself to wake up at 7am I will stay awake all day, but when bed time rolls around I still can't sleep until about 2am even if I've been dragging all day long. I've seen doctors who tell me I'm depressed, that I'm bi-polar that I need this vitamin or this prescription. I just don't know how to function anymore. I'm hoping to find a motivational friend or some epiphany here on this site. I'm sorry it's such a long post. I just don't know where to go from here.