I I understand what you mean and how you feel. But it must be said about anyone who allows themselves to become obese, either a little bit or a lot yeah, that's short of a glandular condition, depression is the next place to look.
Depression doesn't always mean you will appear sad to the outside world no. It doesn't mean that you can't get out of bed because an active life is simply unbearable. It doesn't mean anything negative. It is an important diagnostic tool and it should be completely investigated because it doesn't go away all by itself. It doesn't even go away when you win the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes. Depression is about who you think you are, and that often includes a cloak of shame that you wear but you did not create. Children are shamed by parents, by Churches, by other children, even by cutting out paper dolls and pudding paper clothes on them. Shame comes when you're playing with your Barbie doll. Shame comes when you see other girls or boys well-dressed and well fitting clothes. ironically, shame is nothing to be ashamed of.
shame shame can be defeated but it has to be reversed exactly the same way it was imposed on you in the first place. Getting rid of Shame requires repetition of positive thinking. You can also enhance your walk away from shame by buying or getting pretty things for stylish clothes for men or women and then wearing or displaying them proudly.
there is nothing shameful about there is nothing shameful about shame or depression or tangential thinking or disinhibitation. everyone experiences the same exact things whether they feel shame or not, whether they are depressed or not
But your body is telling the story of your self-esteem and that involves feeling depressed. I don't think anyone since King Kamehameha has felt Joy about eating to the point of bursting and rubbing his belly proudly, hiring courtesans to massage his belly so he could eat more and more food.
Sometimes we cannot analyze our own feelings and we can't even be honest about our lives. Sometimes the reality of life is just way too painful.
Very few people are rude or socially unacceptable because they are disinhibited. Disinhibitation actually leads to joyful expressions of freedom, from not being tied down to other people's ideas. Disinhibitation is something we all strive for but many of us never achieve, because we are just too ashamed about being so fat.
I remember I remember in years and years of therapy never talking about my body. I would talk about anything and I mean anything. But I could not talk about my body because I was helpless and addicted and it was my destiny to get diabetes, heart disease, cardiovascular disease, enlarged liver, and other organ destruction that ran in my family.
I hope I hope you don't write the therapist off. Being told you have major depression is not an insult. It is a wake-up call. And you can change it. You can live a life with no depression, only occasional and appropriate sadness. I encourage you to look at how you feel and why you feel this way. In other words why are you so resistant to the labels?
When someone is interviewing you and asking questions and you feel compelled to answer them quickly, don't. Your best defense against being badgered for an answer is to stop and take a breath, repeat the question ask the asker if you understand what he or she just said, stall for time making up your it best and most accurate answer
And Marsha, welcome to the group. Thank you for being so honest and expressive with us. I hope we can offer you support and help when you need it and that you will do the same for us.
