remember when I was crabby?

[dianeseattle]

heh heh heh... I'm not crabby anymore, or at least not so much. but I wanted to share something that would have been helpful for me when I was, if I'd seen it back then. It's a quote from a Buddhist nun.

“Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It's a relationship between equals. Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of others.“
— Pema Chödrön

This describes the dynamic of this support group, and defines what all support groups should be like. We don't need to feel ashamed of ourselves or critical of others. In this group, we've all been through something similar, but outside this group, so many people we love or admire have no idea how broad the range of emotions is. That's why I'm so grateful to you all, and why I've been hanging out here so long.

If you're new to this group, hang in there. Some people are smitten like a meteor hit them and understand everything immediately. But most of us are surprised, then surprised again, and again, as our bodies travel through these steps and stages.

 

[Dee123]

Thank you so much I so needed to hear this, I will be having my surgery on Sept. 20, 2023, (Sleeve), kinda of scare and these two weeks of certain foods is killing me, I cheated a little...Please Pray for me.

 

[FinallyMe]

Thank you so much I so needed to hear this, I will be having my surgery on Sept. 20, 2023, (Sleeve), kinda of scare and these two weeks of certain foods is killing me, I cheated a little...Please Pray for me.

I cheated once during the all VLCLD 2 weeks prior. i had a grilled cheese sandwich even though they warned us not to have "last dinners". I felt a little guilty until I talked to a friend who had surgery a few years before and she said everyone cheats sometimes and it shouldn't matter. It didn't, I lost weight anyway, my surgery went off well anyway, and I was stressing over nothing. I don't mean to say cheating is ok, but don't let it mess with your mental game. After surgery, you won't be able to overindulge without discomfort, so the more you get comfortable with the small portioned liquid diet now, the smoother things will go after as well. Practice tracking your meals in an app or on paper as well. It is invaluable.

 

[dianeseattle]

I cheated once during the all VLCLD 2 weeks prior. i had a grilled cheese sandwich even though they warned us not to have "last dinners". I felt a little guilty until I talked to a friend who had surgery a few years before and she said everyone cheats sometimes and it shouldn't matter. It didn't, I lost weight anyway, my surgery went off well anyway, and I was stressing over nothing. I don't mean to say cheating is ok, but don't let it mess with your mental game. After surgery, you won't be able to overindulge without discomfort, so the more you get comfortable with the small portioned liquid diet now, the smoother things will go after as well. Practice tracking your meals in an app or on paper as well. It is invaluable.

.

First, what's VLCLD?

The people who've come after me and had to go through the six-month routines know better than me, but I think it's really ridiculous to wait that long. So for you people who confess to cheating, please let me say bless you and don't beat yourself up. I've been here forever and I can't think of one person who ended up being denied surgery after the six-month wait, even if they "cheated."

Now, that doesn't mean I don't have respect for that process. I sure do. But if the doctor had made me wait six months, I wouldn't have made it.
So I have mad respect for all of you who hang in there for six months, and please, don't criticize yourself. You are superheroes in my book. If you take a nibble or a bite, what could anyone expect? I couldn't hold out for 2 weeks, let alone six months! You're rockstars!

FinallyMe, thank you for mentioning tracking. It's soooooooooooo important! And I suggest tracking in advance, as if you were designing meal plans for a week and then sticking to them. And always, always, add in a treat, because you're gonna want one. I don't mean a big gooey hot fudge sundae. I mean maybe a little brownie like the ones they put at the checkstand on your way out of the store. It helped me so much. And I still have a treat if I feel one. After all, I had the surgery and that helped so much, but I had it so I wouldn't have to diet. I am not going to deny myself an occasional treat because dieting is still part of my life.

But seriously, if you don't track on paper or on your phone or computer, you are walking on a slippery slope. Plan your meals in advance and then track them for accountability. After you succeed for a week, buy yourself a new blouse or pair or pants or costume jewelry. You deserve as many rewards as you can give yourself after all the agony you've gone through. But remember, the biggest reward is staying fit and healthy.

 

[FinallyMe]

I agree so much! VLCLD = Very Low Calorie Liquid Diet. My bariatric surgery group puts patients on it 2 weeks pre-op, all clear liquids plus protein drinks and shakes, same diet as what they call Phase 1 for 2 weeks after surgery. I had to wait almost a year. I sought out the steps to get this done about October of 2022, I didn't meet my surgeon until Jan. 30 2023, then found out insurance approval had to happen before they would set a surgery date and I had only done 1 thing wrong, I didn't do 3 months consecutive PCP visits for MD supervised weightloss. So I had to wait another 3 months before they would submit my file to insurance. Then I had to wait while the paperwork was mismanaged (a fax filed wrong or not sent, for example) for another 3 months before they finally got me approved and scheduled. I had so many doubts creep in, but I had the support of friends who were in as much disbelief as me and I just decided to trust God's timing. I knew that there was a reason these stupid delays kept happening but I couldn't lose weight during the wait bc of stress and anger eating due to the frustration. I didn't gain weight either thank goodness. i have already witnessed benefits to have had to wait, and I am thankful, I persevered, and that I have had an excellent post-op experience so far.

 

[CNL04321]

I asked my surgeon about a pre op diet and he said he does not put his patients on a pre op diet because he finds that they go into surgery malnourished. He just made me eat light 2 days before surgery and then of course nothing after midnight the day of the surgery. Believe me, 2 weeks prior to surgery I did load up on all the things i would no longer be able to eat after surgery!!! I know this is not recommended but I felt I had to do it and I'm glad i did!