I had surgery on 11-4-2020 I was 512 when I started and I’m down to 395. I can’t seem to lose anymore weight. I have given up on myself and I don’t know how to get my drive back. Any suggestions or advice would help tremendously. Has anyone else have this issue. My surgery was BPD-DS
Stuck at same weight for 2 years
- Thread starter Bj252011
- Start date
dianeseattle
Member
Congratulations on your enormous weight loss. That's more than 20 percent of your body mass! Anyone would be proud of that. I think the key phrase in your post is "I' have given up on myself." Not to get too pop-psych, but that sentence is full of context, indicating that you have a certain bent toward self-destruction that got you to 500 pounds in the first place, and will fight to gain superiority again. But you know better. You can beat it.
If you can give up on something, you can do the opposite--advocate and fight for yourself. It's a struggle but I've done it, so I know it can be done.
I found a book that simply took negatives and turned them into positives by allowing the argument to happen. If I thought, "I'm so ugly," I immediately shouted, internally, "I'm so beautiful!" I know it sounds kind of silly, but the thing is, you have a habitual consciousness and a manipulatible subconsciousness. When the negative habit tries to knock you down, stop. Immedicately say the opposite, and keep saying it until the negative quiets down. It's kind of like a form of self-hypnosis.
Another way to think of it is to ask yourself the simplest question: Why do I do this to myself? Why don't I decide to be a beautiful fairy princess who has magic powers and is filled with love? Why negative when there's so much positive available? Look at what you did already! Don't you believe you can do that again? If you can regain weight, you can surely re-lose weight.
I know as I grew up I was constantly criticized and told I was ugly. The first time I tried to commit suicide I was 17. I struggled with self-destruction for many years. But people and ideas and therapies came along and I was drawn like a magnet.. My life changed, and little by little I was able to take in positives.
If all this therapeutic self-care doesn't work, then just stop eating so much. Period. If you want to quit smoking, you do it by not smoking cigarettes. Duh. Simple. I know the agony, but you just have to fight. Swap your current pain for the pain of fighting toward a goal. Part of fighting isn't violence: it's love.
If you can give up on something, you can do the opposite--advocate and fight for yourself. It's a struggle but I've done it, so I know it can be done.
I found a book that simply took negatives and turned them into positives by allowing the argument to happen. If I thought, "I'm so ugly," I immediately shouted, internally, "I'm so beautiful!" I know it sounds kind of silly, but the thing is, you have a habitual consciousness and a manipulatible subconsciousness. When the negative habit tries to knock you down, stop. Immedicately say the opposite, and keep saying it until the negative quiets down. It's kind of like a form of self-hypnosis.
Another way to think of it is to ask yourself the simplest question: Why do I do this to myself? Why don't I decide to be a beautiful fairy princess who has magic powers and is filled with love? Why negative when there's so much positive available? Look at what you did already! Don't you believe you can do that again? If you can regain weight, you can surely re-lose weight.
I know as I grew up I was constantly criticized and told I was ugly. The first time I tried to commit suicide I was 17. I struggled with self-destruction for many years. But people and ideas and therapies came along and I was drawn like a magnet.. My life changed, and little by little I was able to take in positives.
If all this therapeutic self-care doesn't work, then just stop eating so much. Period. If you want to quit smoking, you do it by not smoking cigarettes. Duh. Simple. I know the agony, but you just have to fight. Swap your current pain for the pain of fighting toward a goal. Part of fighting isn't violence: it's love.
One of my classes for social work aka counseling people stood out beyond all other information. It takes 10 positive affirmations to counter 1 negative remark. Whether it is self talk, rotten coworkers, mean people or even people who say they love you saying that one negative remark. Read Diane’s book learn how to turn negatives into positives. It took nearly 15 years of counseling for me to get beyond…if your own mother doesn’t love you how can you love yourself?
dianeseattle
Member
I love that 10 to 1 concept! I want to suggest a way to make it work even better. Does anyone here find themselves constantly stuck in the same self-lies? This is referred to as obsessive rumination disorder, and it's literally the basis of brainwashing. The beauty part is that it's a mirror image of itself, so you can flip it back on itself and watch your self-esteem soar. This is a disorder I have struggled with all my life because I was constantly being brainwashed by my mother. Ultimately I realized that she saw herself in me--my figure, my hair color, my eyes, my constant crushes on boys but being too shy to talk to them. One day I was talking to her and somehow she ended up saying if she had it to do over, she never would have married my dad and had 8 kids. That hurt so bad, I didn't speak to her for a year. Thank you, Roni, for this insight.
Loops
Member
This can happen and it might be time to change some routines around. You can't knock yourself too much it has been two years and usually at the two year mark our bodies tend to reach a plateau. 117 lost is a big accomplishment and you might just need to give your system a boost. some of the weightless shots have been helpful in kickstarting the wight loss again. I would suggest talking to your PCP and asking some questions. Changing your workout routine and going back to basics might also be an option. Good luck on your journey.
KristiLyn
Member
I get what you're saying. I know I'll hit a plateau and the thought of that is a little daunting because I know I can get discouraged easily. I see the back-on-track programs have people go back to full liquids for a time to take you back to the time of the best weight loss and easier to follow daily. If I'm having a bad day I go back to full liquids and it gives me a feeling of control. Please know that I have not given up on you. I'll stand in the gap until you can stand too.