Surgery 04/17- undecided between sleeve and bypass HELP

[kayshaee]

Hi all,
I am new to this group and was reccomended from my insurance to join.
At the beginning meeting with my surgeon he let me know he would be fine doing either surgery and that it was up to me to decide.
He said that with the bypass I would lose more with longer lasting results.

I am still undecided.
I wrote down pros and cons of both.
-The sleeve interests me because it feels like the safer option to go with.
I know a couple people that have had a lot of success with the sleeve.
I guess I am just stressed out because all of us are different and cant anticipate how it will go for us individually.
and if the sleeve does not give me the results i want i will regret it.
- do not want the weight to stall for long periods, I am the type of person that loses motivation without results.

Interested in the bypass
-because of the success rate being higher long term with keeping weight off.
-I also do not want to have a second surgery in case the sleeve does not work out.
which I have heard happens quite often.

-Do not want to have complications- and also cant afford really to be out of work for so long.

I am truly scared for the surgery itself and there being a problem during it, that maybe they looked over prior to going in surgery.

I recently had a friend pass away (unrelated) and it has caused me so much stress that I have not quite vaping.
I am about 3-4 weeks away and I'm nervous this will be an issue of having nicotine in my system.
Its freaking me out.
But also hard to stop..

I have heard so many different perspectives and opinions that I just feel lost and have no idea which will be best for me.

I just needed to let this out. and possibly be given feedback

thank you all happy to be in this group,
any advice is so appreciated
thank you

 

[dianeseattle]

Welcome to the group, K. Sounds like you've done a great job of researching the possibilities.

The only thing is, why are you still fearful?

Assuming you have access to an experienced surgeon and/or bariatric center, you should have been told the surgery is safe, with virtually no complications, and you should only miss a few days of work if you choose a laparoscopic procedure.

ah, but let me quote you here:
I recently had a friend pass away (unrelated) and it has caused me so much stress that I have not quite vaping.
I am about 3-4 weeks away and I'm nervous this will be an issue of having nicotine in my system.
Its freaking me out.
But also hard to stop..

In my opinion, having had the surgery 15 years ago, being a "social" smoker (tobacco) and diagnosed OCD/PTSD, you can handle what has to happen next. You need to stop vaping, stop smoking (or vaping nicotine), and turn toward developing post-op support behaviors.

I have had five deaths in my life in the last two months. I've picked up and put down nicotine, off and on. I take meds related to my incurable stress and trauma.

However, I didn't smoke or vape when I had surgery, even though lots of people indulge daily and do just fine.

I encourage you to wean off your obstacles starting now, without feeling shame or guilt about them. Try very hard to remove sugar from your foods. Start habitually drinking water all day. Allow yourself to grieve hard and often, as much as you need to to match the size of your losses.

Ask yourself: Am I afraid? Or am I worried? Those are two completely different things and they have different solutions. However, neither of them should stop you from having the surgery. You've done your research, your doctor approves, you know the trade-off between being obese and developing cardiovascular disease and being healthy and working to strengthen your heart and breathing and digestion. So you shouldn't be worried. "Worrying is like paying a debt you don't owe." That quote is attributed to Mark Twain and many others in various iterations.

Fear is healthy to an extent, but given all your findings, there is very little reason to feel afraid.

You see these challenges and perceived obstacles. Okay. What about the obsessions, the cravings, the loss you'll feel when you have to go without various sugars and fats after surgery? This isn't a choice you get to make. Your digestive system will rebel against unhealthy indulgences and you'll experience "dumping," and if there was ever something you desperately want to avoid, it's THAT.

So the facts are all out there, and the fear is typical, but the odds everything will go fine and your life will change and fill with joy are also higher than the possibility of anything going wrong.

Try deep breathing, meditating, praying (if you do that), positive thinking, reading about success, BELIEVING. Self-sabotage is the biggest driving force that leads to failure. Be good to yourself, wrap your arms around you and close your eyes and love yourself. Why not? There's no reason to believe you're going to fail. All signs point to success.

 

[dianeseattle]

Oh, I forgot to mention... in my opinion, if you're going for it, go bypass.

 

[Healthier Me]

I vote bypass. It’s considered the gold standard of weight loss surgery. I was originally going to do the sleeve, but I know 4 people that had sleeve & ended up having the bypass later. I didn’t want to risk doing surgery twice. I’ve not regretted my decision to change to bypass. I was at my target weight at my 3 month appt. Still losing some, but things have gone well for me overall.

 

[MelbaM]

One big reason I decided on bypass over the sleeve is that my surgeon said that the sleeve can make GERD (reflux) worse and that the bypass virtually cures it. Big deal for me as I've been on Rx Nexium FOREVER and want so bad to be off of it! I've found that so many people on here did the sleeve first, then had the bypass. Good luck to you!

 

[Loops]

Hello Kayshaee,
So being one of those people who had a sleeve and just had a revision let me give you my two cents based on my outcome. I was extremely successful with the sleeve and had wonderful results. The recovery was not horrible and two years out I had lost more than my goal weight. You probably have heard this before, but surgery is a tool we still need to make sure we eat right and maintain a balanced lifestyle. I started to indulge in foods were bad, but since I could tolerate them I ate them. I relaxed on my workouts and justified pregnancy weight as why I was ok. I made so many excuses for myself and then one day I stepped on the scale and was the weight I was before the sleeve. I realized those tiny slips I let myself have added up and I put my health last. The sleeve can stretch and you can overeat no-one can stop what we put in our bodies. If you are in for the commitment and the longterm understanding the the sleeve is a tool and you make the adjustments you will do fine. The bypass is more intense and restricts more how you eat but again you can cheat the procedure if you really look for ways to do so. Ask the questions take the nutritional classes, but it seems like you are leaning toward the bypass, which Is a well known procedure with also long term success. As far as the nicotine my surgeon recommended no smoking prior to surgery it inhibits healing. So if you can kick the habit now it will be best for you in the long run.

 

[Karen D]

I originally thought I’d get the sleeve. Never even considered the bypass. After reading everything I could get my hands I spoke to my dr as well as my gp and cardiologist. They all agreed the bypass would be a much better plan. Everyone needs to make a decision that is right for them. I am 100% happier having the by pass.

 

[ThisOldJenn]

the deciding factor for me on which to have was that I am a sweets addict. I really didn't overeat, except sweets. My surgeon said I was more likely to have dumping syndrome from indulging in sweets with the bypass. So I chose the bypass to have the extra incentive to not slip and eat things with sugar. I'm managing with Splenda and sugar free flavorings for my water. I think if I had done the sleeve, I would eventually be testing the waters on the sweets and fall off the wagon.

 

[kayshaee]

hi all thank you so much for all of your feedback. It definitely calmed down a lot of anxiety I was having.
Has anyone experienced lack of staff support in this process?
I feel alone :'( like i am in over my head.

help

I had my pre op appointment today, I went in with a list of questions.
I left super frustrated and confused


this process has been really confusing for me. in the beginning I remember being so confused and did what they suggested
which was 12 appointments with a pa. doctor.
she has been the most supportive. However, we didn't talk much about the surgery itself because she was not
a bariatric doctor.

I would call the surgeon nurse line and they would sound so irritated that I was asking questions and would refer me to my paperwork
but that's what I was calling about that I was CONFUSED it was not making sense to me.

I have had so much anxiety leading up to this appointment and told myself that I would have clarity after this appointment.
I feel like i have more questions now rather than before.

I only met with my surgeon once in a year and that was at the beginning.
The nursing staff on his team have not been helpful at all, if anything they made it worse.

I have a lot more fear, and I dont feel supported by this staff and my surgery date is in a WEEK.
so its like????
I am so close but I'm scared more of the staff not supporting me.

They make it seem like I'm not a person with feelings.


I'm just going to share a little my experience today because I feel mind-fucked honestly.

I have had this thought in my mind that I had a choice for sleeve or bypass. that's what my surgeon said my first appointment. he also asked how much i wanted to lose- and I said i would be happy to be down ehhh like 180. and he was like ok well what is your DREAM weight.
and i said it seems to far for me to even dream about.
and he said just shoot me your number.

i said 150.

he said "oh EASY"
with the bypass I could get there.
so gives me a high dose of hope.

TODAY--

My appointment was at 3:30pm- arrive by 3:15
I live a hour away right.

They call me at 1.
" Can you come in 2:30-2:45, it snowed... blah blah.. we want to go home early.
the appointment wont take long."
me-
"well we live a hour away, and we would have to leave soon soon to make it but we will try.
she said okay well call if you cant"

So we are on the road at 2:10
looked up the address in my portal and saw the appointment was changed to 230 arrive by 215.
I call and im like "hey your office asked me to come in early instead of 3:30 im calling to let you know we can be there at 2:45-50"
she said " oh nooo worries that will be only 5 mintues late and we could work with it.
me- "No I am not late- im early."

She said "oh no worries its fine that you get here then"

like WHAT,
I get there dont even sit down- rushed to the room
the ma or whatever comes in with us and right off the bat pulls out a paper and reads over it in like 1 minute.
I said woah woah, what are you saying i dont know what that means.
she keeps talking
I said can I look at this paper she shows it to me i look at it for 5 seconds and she takes it

im like ?????
she said im giving this to the surgeon.
and walks out fast.
didnt even get this girls name

You guys I am so frusturated

The surgeon comes in
he asks me how i am ( thats a first since ive been there)

He then proceeds to talk..
and I say "I do have a lot of questions and I brought them in here I have a list of questions"

He says
"oh okay let me tell you my shpeal.. first"

he talks for 30 minutes and would not let me say anything during his speech.
and it is word.for.word. what he said in the first appointment.

I finally was able to squeeze in the question of which surgery he suggests i get
and hes like oh of course the sleeve that seems healthier for you because you smoked before
and i said well no I vape
-no answer
he already knew this in the beginning, and he first suggested the bypass.

So all of this time (months over this year) I spent contemplating which surgery to get.
when, all this time I did not have a choice.

Like why didnt he tell me this right off the fucking bat.

I then ask him, okay with the sleeve do you think i could hit my goal weight- 150.
he said no. straight up no.
and that I could maybe maybe get to 200.
im 260.

like what
he said i could get to 150 in our first appointment.
-bullshit- gave me all this hope just to tell me that im going to go through this invasive surgery that i have spent a year of my life planning to "maybe lose 60 pounds"

I mean its better then nothing.. but damn. I hear everyone lose more. I had a friend that was 340
down to 170 with the sleeve in 8 months.
he said well shes a a+ student.



I am stressed beyond words yall.
I am so close to my surgery date but don't feel supporhted by the staff.
the surgeon is experienced and feels safe and calm. which I liked.
but it just is throwing me off
how rushed these appointments have been and I feel like I don't matter and I am just 1 of thousands of people that get this
it seems like its just money to them
but this is my life.

:'(

I also want to drink.. so bad. because of this stress.
but haven't drank in 2 months

Has anyone experienced lack of staff support in this process?


I feel alone :'( like i am in over my head.


I'm so scared..

help

+

 

[Loops]

hi all thank you so much for all of your feedback. It definitely calmed down a lot of anxiety I was having.
Has anyone experienced lack of staff support in this process?
I feel alone :'( like i am in over my head.

help

I had my pre op appointment today, I went in with a list of questions.
I left super frustrated and confused


this process has been really confusing for me. in the beginning I remember being so confused and did what they suggested
which was 12 appointments with a pa. doctor.
she has been the most supportive. However, we didn't talk much about the surgery itself because she was not
a bariatric doctor.

I would call the surgeon nurse line and they would sound so irritated that I was asking questions and would refer me to my paperwork
but that's what I was calling about that I was CONFUSED it was not making sense to me.

I have had so much anxiety leading up to this appointment and told myself that I would have clarity after this appointment.
I feel like i have more questions now rather than before.

I only met with my surgeon once in a year and that was at the beginning.
The nursing staff on his team have not been helpful at all, if anything they made it worse.

I have a lot more fear, and I dont feel supported by this staff and my surgery date is in a WEEK.
so its like????
I am so close but I'm scared more of the staff not supporting me.

They make it seem like I'm not a person with feelings.


I'm just going to share a little my experience today because I feel mind-fucked honestly.

I have had this thought in my mind that I had a choice for sleeve or bypass. that's what my surgeon said my first appointment. he also asked how much i wanted to lose- and I said i would be happy to be down ehhh like 180. and he was like ok well what is your DREAM weight.
and i said it seems to far for me to even dream about.
and he said just shoot me your number.

i said 150.

he said "oh EASY"
with the bypass I could get there.
so gives me a high dose of hope.

TODAY--

My appointment was at 3:30pm- arrive by 3:15
I live a hour away right.

They call me at 1.
" Can you come in 2:30-2:45, it snowed... blah blah.. we want to go home early.
the appointment wont take long."
me-
"well we live a hour away, and we would have to leave soon soon to make it but we will try.
she said okay well call if you cant"

So we are on the road at 2:10
looked up the address in my portal and saw the appointment was changed to 230 arrive by 215.
I call and im like "hey your office asked me to come in early instead of 3:30 im calling to let you know we can be there at 2:45-50"
she said " oh nooo worries that will be only 5 mintues late and we could work with it.
me- "No I am not late- im early."

She said "oh no worries its fine that you get here then"

like WHAT,
I get there dont even sit down- rushed to the room
the ma or whatever comes in with us and right off the bat pulls out a paper and reads over it in like 1 minute.
I said woah woah, what are you saying i dont know what that means.
she keeps talking
I said can I look at this paper she shows it to me i look at it for 5 seconds and she takes it

im like ?????
she said im giving this to the surgeon.
and walks out fast.
didnt even get this girls name

You guys I am so frusturated

The surgeon comes in
he asks me how i am ( thats a first since ive been there)

He then proceeds to talk..
and I say "I do have a lot of questions and I brought them in here I have a list of questions"

He says
"oh okay let me tell you my shpeal.. first"

he talks for 30 minutes and would not let me say anything during his speech.
and it is word.for.word. what he said in the first appointment.

I finally was able to squeeze in the question of which surgery he suggests i get
and hes like oh of course the sleeve that seems healthier for you because you smoked before
and i said well no I vape
-no answer
he already knew this in the beginning, and he first suggested the bypass.

So all of this time (months over this year) I spent contemplating which surgery to get.
when, all this time I did not have a choice.

Like why didnt he tell me this right off the fucking bat.

I then ask him, okay with the sleeve do you think i could hit my goal weight- 150.
he said no. straight up no.
and that I could maybe maybe get to 200.
im 260.

like what
he said i could get to 150 in our first appointment.
-bullshit- gave me all this hope just to tell me that im going to go through this invasive surgery that i have spent a year of my life planning to "maybe lose 60 pounds"

I mean its better then nothing.. but damn. I hear everyone lose more. I had a friend that was 340
down to 170 with the sleeve in 8 months.
he said well shes a a+ student.



I am stressed beyond words yall.
I am so close to my surgery date but don't feel supporhted by the staff.
the surgeon is experienced and feels safe and calm. which I liked.
but it just is throwing me off
how rushed these appointments have been and I feel like I don't matter and I am just 1 of thousands of people that get this
it seems like its just money to them
but this is my life.

:'(

I also want to drink.. so bad. because of this stress.
but haven't drank in 2 months

Has anyone experienced lack of staff support in this process?


I feel alone :'( like i am in over my head.


I'm so scared..

help

+

You always have the right to request to meet with the surgeon instead of the PA when you schedule make sure they know that is what you want. I was asked what my goals were and from there I told them what surgery I had interest in as well. They should have been clear if your plan changed. Most places consider capping as smoking so once reviewing they could have changed the plan. You can still call for an appointment with the surgeon and say you want to discuss you surgery. It hasn’t happened yet so there is still time. As far as your questions bring them up to your PA mine has been good at explaining. If you still don’t like things find another surgeon

 

[kayshaee]

You always have the right to request to meet with the surgeon instead of the PA when you schedule make sure they know that is what you want. I was asked what my goals were and from there I told them what surgery I had interest in as well. They should have been clear if your plan changed. Most places consider capping as smoking so once reviewing they could have changed the plan. You can still call for an appointment with the surgeon and say you want to discuss you surgery. It hasn’t happened yet so there is still time. As far as your questions bring them up to your PA mine has been good at explaining. If you still don’t like things find another surgeon

Thank you so much I see my PA on the 11th I really appreciate it.
Hopefully she can give some peace of mind, she has been so helpful already.
Today I spoke with my nurse case manager from my insurance company and she is going to call the office with me tomorrow to
speak to the surgery nurse to clear things up.
Im praying this helps

 

[kayshaee]

z

Welcome to the group, K. Sounds like you've done a great job of researching the possibilities.

The only thing is, why are you still fearful?

Assuming you have access to an experienced surgeon and/or bariatric center, you should have been told the surgery is safe, with virtually no complications, and you should only miss a few days of work if you choose a laparoscopic procedure.

ah, but let me quote you here:
I recently had a friend pass away (unrelated) and it has caused me so much stress that I have not quite vaping.
I am about 3-4 weeks away and I'm nervous this will be an issue of having nicotine in my system.
Its freaking me out.
But also hard to stop..

In my opinion, having had the surgery 15 years ago, being a "social" smoker (tobacco) and diagnosed OCD/PTSD, you can handle what has to happen next. You need to stop vaping, stop smoking (or vaping nicotine), and turn toward developing post-op support behaviors.

I have had five deaths in my life in the last two months. I've picked up and put down nicotine, off and on. I take meds related to my incurable stress and trauma.

However, I didn't smoke or vape when I had surgery, even though lots of people indulge daily and do just fine.

I encourage you to wean off your obstacles starting now, without feeling shame or guilt about them. Try very hard to remove sugar from your foods. Start habitually drinking water all day. Allow yourself to grieve hard and often, as much as you need to to match the size of your losses.

Ask yourself: Am I afraid? Or am I worried? Those are two completely different things and they have different solutions. However, neither of them should stop you from having the surgery. You've done your research, your doctor approves, you know the trade-off between being obese and developing cardiovascular disease and being healthy and working to strengthen your heart and breathing and digestion. So you shouldn't be worried. "Worrying is like paying a debt you don't owe." That quote is attributed to Mark Twain and many others in various iterations.

Fear is healthy to an extent, but given all your findings, there is very little reason to feel afraid.

You see these challenges and perceived obstacles. Okay. What about the obsessions, the cravings, the loss you'll feel when you have to go without various sugars and fats after surgery? This isn't a choice you get to make. Your digestive system will rebel against unhealthy indulgences and you'll experience "dumping," and if there was ever something you desperately want to avoid, it's THAT.

So the facts are all out there, and the fear is typical, but the odds everything will go fine and your life will change and fill with joy are also higher than the possibility of anything going wrong.

Try deep breathing, meditating, praying (if you do that), positive thinking, reading about success, BELIEVING. Self-sabotage is the biggest driving force that leads to failure. Be good to yourself, wrap your arms around you and close your eyes and love yourself. Why not? There's no reason to believe you're going to fail. All signs point to success.

This hit home for me, and was so inspiring. Your kind words touched my heart, and I shared with my Fiancee just because it uplifted me so much.
Please continue to offer words of wisdom to others because it eased a lot of my fear and stuck with me.

thank you so much