There are so many reasons why one's energy shifts. Don't discount the effects mood has on energy.
But if you're 100 pounds overweight, you might as well be carrying a monkey on your back, as addicts describe their habits. Like, a gorilla, dudes.
I still remember vividly the sensations of carrying all that weight. It was like walking through 6 inches of wet clay.
One day I was waiting outside a store and a morbidly obese employee came out for a break. He walked away, then turned around and walked back. I blatantly stared at him because his eyes were cast down. Eye contact is hard when you're cloaked in shame.
I studied anatomy in art school and the work of da Vinci independently. So my observations were deep, ligaments, tendons, muscles, fat layers and how they worked in concert and opposition. There was so much going on there, soft tissue versus skeletal frame. Every sweaty, red-faced, huffing and puffing step looked excruciating.
The root of the word "crucifixion" is "excruciation." I once edited a book about crucifixion. The writer described in cinemascopic detail the process. It's the stuff of nightmares.
And yet, in a very similar way, a person weighing hundreds of extra pounds is mirroring the agony of that long, painful death, in small patches of his body's real estate, telegraphing pain and exhaustion along nerve endings straight to the center of his self-esteem.
This was not a cosmetic judgment of him. It reminded me of a time when I watched a huge woman straddling a boat trailer, being backed down a launch, floating off in the water. On land, everything was imprisoning her. Once in the water, she was weightless and liberated from Fat Jail. She was free.
The point of my ramble is hard to articulate. It's so painful to witness cruelty and abuse. PTSD is just as powerful for the witness as the perpetrator. Morbid obesity is a mental locale where all these evil and lesser demons live together as if one lived in a Hieronymus Bosch painting of hell.
I guess I was wondering why I chose hell over earth for a while. These days, life is just redefined. I prefer love over judgment.