Unsure if this is really what I want

[amrogers2004]

So... the truth is that I have never been very supportive of having surgery for weight loss. I've always thought If I can lose the weight without surgery, why have the surgery. Or at least I thought that was my reason.

But bariatric surgery has been thrown in my face repeatedly by different people in my life and doctors. And after going to the doctor last month and finding that I have hypothyroidism, my doctor asked me why I was opposed. I told her that I felt like if I was going to maintain long term weight loss I needed to struggle through and overcome my habits of disordered eating. She suggested that I go through the bariatric program for support, and she told me if Im doing well losing weight without the surgery, they will encourage me to keep doing what Im doing instead.

Well, I went to a bariatric seminar on Sunday, and I feel like I was tricked. I was told there is no "bariatric program" and that the meetings and appointments were to dot all the i's and cross all the t's to prep for surgery and to make sure my insurance will cover the surgery.

And then I got very upset during the seminar because I was getting told that only 6 percent of people are capable of losing weight through diet programs and maintaining the weight loss.

Although it was encouraging that they seemed to really understand the struggle it is to lose weight, it also made me feel incredibly hopeless and heartbroken.

I spent most of Sunday a tearful mess while talking about it to my parents and siblings. Both of my parents think I should have surgery. They feel that having PCOS and hypothyroidism are going to be too many obstacles working against me. My brother and sister in law were a bit more neutral in saying only I could decide what is right for me, but they reminded me how hard I worked and lost over 100 pounds following Ideal Protien protocol and kept it off for three years. Although, I did gain the weight back following a very stressful few years. They also reminded me that my mom, who had weight loss surgery 38 years ago, although she gained weight again, she never gained back more than half of it and she weighed 600 pounds.

I decided to be open to it and ive been trying to research, but I feel like I'm not getting anywhere. I want to know the good, the bad, the ugly. I want to know if people regret it or had complications. I want to really know what i would be getting in to if i chose to go this route.

I feel like all im getting is medical websites and I even searched specifically for negative reviews on bariatric surgeries.

For me this feels like a life or death decision. I have to decide whether to permanently surgically alter my body and the way it was designed to function (but then i guess I have to ask... is it really functioning properly if Im struggling this badly with my weight?)

I am terrified of this decision! I see people saying "I cant wait for my surgery" and i don't know.... maybe they've reached a point that the fear of the surgery is outweighed by their desire for life change...

Anyway... off point, but I feel like societies view of people who are obese is so negative and skewed that even if there was something gravely dangerous about bariatric surgery they would promote the surgery anyway just to make people thinner and I feel as though I will never get an unbiased answer.

My mind is fighting, surely there has to be a way to maintain permanent weight loss without resorting to surgery. But im so tired and Ideal Protien is so expensive and i honestly just don't even feel like i have the energy to meal prep the way I need to with IP anymore.

I feel lost. Completely lost. I don't know what to do.

 

[dianeseattle]

What is PCOS?

You're going to hear a lot of stories here & a lot of conflicting opinions. The fact that you have a family member who's almost 40 years out from what must be RYGB surgery puts you in a unique position. Is she available to advise you?

I had metabolic & lipid panels on Tuesday & all my numbers were good. 15 years ago my cholesterol was 370. Now it's 209. The healthy range for calcium is 8.7 - 10.3 mg/dL. Mine is 10.2. Blood sugar is 87, sodium 143, protein 6.7 g/dL.

My liver/kidney levels could be better but I've been having a problem with nausea & vomiting that may be related to the RYGB, like strictures, a known side effect.

I'm almost 68 and had my surgery 12 years ago. I'm nowhere near dead or at risk for anything. Most people in my family die from diabetes or cardiovascular disease. I've lost my mom, dad, a sister & a brother. They all died slow, complicated deaths that included surgeries & amputations.

Weight loss surgery is not a hallelujah moment accompanied by sunshine & lollipops. As you say, it's life and death. So is every decision you make related to the grave illness of obesity. While I sympathize with your frustration, I also see it as a symptom of your disease. There's nothing your gremlins would like more than your failure to act.

What did Yoda say? Do or not do. There is no try. Poll your feelings and decide. If people don't agree, tough. You're in charge. Once you believe that, you'll have your answer.

Welcome. You'll be supported here like we support each other. But this IS a bariatric support group where we all decided on surgery.

 

[MamaBearOf4]

I choose to do the surgery because as a mother I want to play with my sons. Weighing 600lbs don't get me no where. I have struggled with weight loss for years. I was so worried to have the surgery years ago. I was afraid of the down time because like I said I have kids. But then I see my boys wanting to do more things and I want to do it with them. I really cant say it is because of my health because I really do not have any health issue. But I have trouble moving around. Both sides of my family was big. So I have been hit double time. I push my self not to ride the seats in the stores and I push myself to move. I have to fight with pain everyday because the pain from the weight on my body. This surgery will help lose this weight. I know it will have effects on me and I am will to live with those. Because at the end I will be healthier. I will have a better chance not have any of the stuff that runs in my family. No one can choose if it is best for you. You have to look at what you want in life. But after years of fighting with weight loss and losing every time I have decided to give it a chance. You have to ask your self are you really going to be able to fight your weight without help from the surgery. You have to ask your self are you ready to make the change in your life. You are the one making that change. Yes it will take some of the extra pressure from the other stuff off of your weight are you willing to go for that. Are you willing to let your self relearn how to eat healthy and make better decisions. If you are willing to change your diet and stick to a strict diet then why not have the extra help. I have been on a strict diet since 2015 and it is so easy to slip even more when depression hits or when you have stressful times. But it is just my thoughts on the matter.

 

[Kmrose]

I hear you. I have gotten a few really good books off Amazon that talk about the surgery in detail and also talk about what to expect before and after. Also the book I am reading now by psychologist Cynthia Alexander the Emotional First + Aid Kit is blunt and doesn't pull any punches but I think it will help you have a better understanding. Remember what works for one person doesn't work for others. And you can go through the program and then pull the plug if you are not ready at least I can do this here in NH. Another book I ready was Obesity Its not a Character Flaw by a doctor who gives you some of the science behind obesity. This was helpful. And finally The WeightLoss Surgery Workbook. There are many more.

It is a lifelong commitment if you want to be successful. What I like about the first book she basically says if you have the surgery and think that that alone without any work is going to be enough, you are kidding yourself. Exercise will be key for maintenance. They also recommend starting some of the behaviors prior to surgery so as to get used to them.

For me I need to get on the other side of diabetes and high blood pressure. This is really the only way I'm going to do it. If you are having a strong reaction, maybe find a support group and listen in to what they are all saying. Do the research. Knowledge is power.

K Rose

So... the truth is that I have never been very supportive of having surgery for weight loss. I've always thought If I can lose the weight without surgery, why have the surgery. Or at least I thought that was my reason.

But bariatric surgery has been thrown in my face repeatedly by different people in my life and doctors. And after going to the doctor last month and finding that I have hypothyroidism, my doctor asked me why I was opposed. I told her that I felt like if I was going to maintain long term weight loss I needed to struggle through and overcome my habits of disordered eating. She suggested that I go through the bariatric program for support, and she told me if Im doing well losing weight without the surgery, they will encourage me to keep doing what Im doing instead.

Well, I went to a bariatric seminar on Sunday, and I feel like I was tricked. I was told there is no "bariatric program" and that the meetings and appointments were to dot all the i's and cross all the t's to prep for surgery and to make sure my insurance will cover the surgery.

And then I got very upset during the seminar because I was getting told that only 6 percent of people are capable of losing weight through diet programs and maintaining the weight loss.

Although it was encouraging that they seemed to really understand the struggle it is to lose weight, it also made me feel incredibly hopeless and heartbroken.

I spent most of Sunday a tearful mess while talking about it to my parents and siblings. Both of my parents think I should have surgery. They feel that having PCOS and hypothyroidism are going to be too many obstacles working against me. My brother and sister in law were a bit more neutral in saying only I could decide what is right for me, but they reminded me how hard I worked and lost over 100 pounds following Ideal Protien protocol and kept it off for three years. Although, I did gain the weight back following a very stressful few years. They also reminded me that my mom, who had weight loss surgery 38 years ago, although she gained weight again, she never gained back more than half of it and she weighed 600 pounds.

I decided to be open to it and ive been trying to research, but I feel like I'm not getting anywhere. I want to know the good, the bad, the ugly. I want to know if people regret it or had complications. I want to really know what i would be getting in to if i chose to go this route.

I feel like all im getting is medical websites and I even searched specifically for negative reviews on bariatric surgeries.

For me this feels like a life or death decision. I have to decide whether to permanently surgically alter my body and the way it was designed to function (but then i guess I have to ask... is it really functioning properly if Im struggling this badly with my weight?)

I am terrified of this decision! I see people saying "I cant wait for my surgery" and i don't know.... maybe they've reached a point that the fear of the surgery is outweighed by their desire for life change...

Anyway... off point, but I feel like societies view of people who are obese is so negative and skewed that even if there was something gravely dangerous about bariatric surgery they would promote the surgery anyway just to make people thinner and I feel as though I will never get an unbiased answer.

My mind is fighting, surely there has to be a way to maintain permanent weight loss without resorting to surgery. But im so tired and Ideal Protien is so expensive and i honestly just don't even feel like i have the energy to meal prep the way I need to with IP anymore.

I feel lost. Completely lost. I don't know what to do.

So... the truth is that I have never been very supportive of having surgery for weight loss. I've always thought If I can lose the weight without surgery, why have the surgery. Or at least I thought that was my reason.

But bariatric surgery has been thrown in my face repeatedly by different people in my life and doctors. And after going to the doctor last month and finding that I have hypothyroidism, my doctor asked me why I was opposed. I told her that I felt like if I was going to maintain long term weight loss I needed to struggle through and overcome my habits of disordered eating. She suggested that I go through the bariatric program for support, and she told me if Im doing well losing weight without the surgery, they will encourage me to keep doing what Im doing instead.

Well, I went to a bariatric seminar on Sunday, and I feel like I was tricked. I was told there is no "bariatric program" and that the meetings and appointments were to dot all the i's and cross all the t's to prep for surgery and to make sure my insurance will cover the surgery.

And then I got very upset during the seminar because I was getting told that only 6 percent of people are capable of losing weight through diet programs and maintaining the weight loss.

Although it was encouraging that they seemed to really understand the struggle it is to lose weight, it also made me feel incredibly hopeless and heartbroken.

I spent most of Sunday a tearful mess while talking about it to my parents and siblings. Both of my parents think I should have surgery. They feel that having PCOS and hypothyroidism are going to be too many obstacles working against me. My brother and sister in law were a bit more neutral in saying only I could decide what is right for me, but they reminded me how hard I worked and lost over 100 pounds following Ideal Protien protocol and kept it off for three years. Although, I did gain the weight back following a very stressful few years. They also reminded me that my mom, who had weight loss surgery 38 years ago, although she gained weight again, she never gained back more than half of it and she weighed 600 pounds.

I decided to be open to it and ive been trying to research, but I feel like I'm not getting anywhere. I want to know the good, the bad, the ugly. I want to know if people regret it or had complications. I want to really know what i would be getting in to if i chose to go this route.

I feel like all im getting is medical websites and I even searched specifically for negative reviews on bariatric surgeries.

For me this feels like a life or death decision. I have to decide whether to permanently surgically alter my body and the way it was designed to function (but then i guess I have to ask... is it really functioning properly if Im struggling this badly with my weight?)

I am terrified of this decision! I see people saying "I cant wait for my surgery" and i don't know.... maybe they've reached a point that the fear of the surgery is outweighed by their desire for life change...

Anyway... off point, but I feel like societies view of people who are obese is so negative and skewed that even if there was something gravely dangerous about bariatric surgery they would promote the surgery anyway just to make people thinner and I feel as though I will never get an unbiased answer.

My mind is fighting, surely there has to be a way to maintain permanent weight loss without resorting to surgery. But im so tired and Ideal Protien is so expensive and i honestly just don't even feel like i have the energy to meal prep the way I need to with IP anymore.

I feel lost. Completely lost. I don't know what to do.

 

[amrogers2004]

Thank you taking the time to reply. I am going to check into the books you said you are Reading. Ive had a long week to think about this.

Even though Im not 100 percent sure what I'm going to do, I went ahead and set an appointment to get things started. I can always back out if i feel it's not for me, right?

 

[Kmrose]

That’s what I understand. It’s your life.

 

[Texnoble]

Hello Amrogers-
I'm also reading the book, "The Emotional First+Aid Kit," as suggested by Kmrose. The Bariatric dietician said that it was the best book for before and after surgery.

It's possible that if you are inclined to emotional eating you will find this weight loss harder. If you've used protein shakes to lose weight before, you will adjust to this more easily. I know that many of the shakes out there only have 10-12 grams of protein. The post bariatric diet starts you out with 20-30 gr. protein shakes.
I am 65 years old with worn-out knees and hips. My weight has been such a source of embarrassment in many different situations. I can't step up or down curbs on the street. Having the opportunity to tackle it medically seems like the best solution for me.

Obesity is an insidious passenger to carry around. After one month, I am pleased with the reduced appetite, and the mood uplift that I am now experiencing.

Give the surgery serious consideration. But..."To thine own self be true."

 

[Kmrose]

Hello Amrogers-
I'm also reading the book, "The Emotional First+Aid Kit," as suggested by Kmrose. The Bariatric dietician said that it was the best book for before and after surgery.

It's possible that if you are inclined to emotional eating you will find this weight loss harder. If you've used protein shakes to lose weight before, you will adjust to this more easily. I know that many of the shakes out there only have 10-12 grams of protein. The post bariatric diet starts you out with 20-30 gr. protein shakes.
I am 65 years old with worn-out knees and hips. My weight has been such a source of embarrassment in many different situations. I can't step up or down curbs on the street. Having the opportunity to tackle it medically seems like the best solution for me.

Obesity is an insidious passenger to carry around. After one month, I am pleased with the reduced appetite, and the mood uplift that I am now experiencing.

Give the surgery serious consideration. But..."To thine own self be true."

I like protein shakes and I made one the other day with Premier Protein liquid and blueberries and ice. My face got so red like a hot flash. I tested my sugars and they were low. I’m waiting on surgery. Has anyone had reactions to smoothies.

Another book recommended by my doctor is Exodus from Obesity.

 

[Texnoble]

Kmrose- Was this the first time you had a Premier Shake? It might have an ingredient that you are allergic to. Bad blueberries? There is a high vitamin and mineral count in the Premier Shake. Maybe you had a "Niacin Rush." Some people get flushed and get a palpitation as a side effect of taking Niacin (B3). It doesn't last long and after a couple days I didn't get it. Change vitamins if you take too much B3. More importantly, check in with your doctor if it continues.

 

[Romas]

I understand and probably for the most part most of us understand. It took me aprix 6 months to decide if this is what I wanted. I did lots of praying. I really didn't have a choice if I wanted to extend my life. I only have 30% lung compatibility. I was on oxygen 24/7. High blood pressure, dietbic, I lost count on the medicine I had to take every day. My fear was making it through the surgery. My health condition was bad, this isn't counting the obisty on top of everything else.
I am here to tell you that I walked out of the hospital without oxygen, my med were almost eliminated, I still had a few I was taking.
I no longer take prescription drugs. Vitamins have replaced them. But that is ok. This was the best decision I made.
Embrace this life changing experience. It's so worth getting your life back.

 

[MamaBearOf4]

I like protein shakes and I made one the other day with Premier Protein liquid and blueberries and ice. My face got so red like a hot flash. I tested my sugars and they were low. I’m waiting on surgery. Has anyone had reactions to smoothies.

Another book recommended by my doctor is Exodus from Obesity.

When I started to drink Premier Protein my sugar raised a little and my calcium as well. I don't do anything else different but they said it was not a big change just a slight one

 

[Kmrose]

I just read and joined the Bariatric Mindset group on Facebook. Worth looking into. Can’t have enough support. Book is good too.

 

[MamaBearOf4]

I am in it too. I have the app to help track what I eat and everything. I spend time on both chats because I have found good people on here and my facebook is always going to be there.

 

[Kmrose]

Oh do tell about the app?

 

[Karen Bullock]

What is PCOS?

You're going to hear a lot of stories here & a lot of conflicting opinions. The fact that you have a family member who's almost 40 years out from what must be RYGB surgery puts you in a unique position. Is she available to advise you?

I had metabolic & lipid panels on Tuesday & all my numbers were good. 15 years ago my cholesterol was 370. Now it's 209. The healthy range for calcium is 8.7 - 10.3 mg/dL. Mine is 10.2. Blood sugar is 87, sodium 143, protein 6.7 g/dL.

My liver/kidney levels could be better but I've been having a problem with nausea & vomiting that may be related to the RYGB, like strictures, a known side effect.

I'm almost 68 and had my surgery 12 years ago. I'm nowhere near dead or at risk for anything. Most people in my family die from diabetes or cardiovascular disease. I've lost my mom, dad, a sister & a brother. They all died slow, complicated deaths that included surgeries & amputations.

Weight loss surgery is not a hallelujah moment accompanied by sunshine & lollipops. As you say, it's life and death. So is every decision you make related to the grave illness of obesity. While I sympathize with your frustration, I also see it as a symptom of your disease. There's nothing your gremlins would like more than your failure to act.

What did Yoda say? Do or not do. There is no try. Poll your feelings and decide. If people don't agree, tough. You're in charge. Once you believe that, you'll have your answer.

Welcome. You'll be supported here like we support each other. But this IS a bariatric support group where we all decided on surgery.

If this is strictly a bariatric support group then shouldn't we be supporting people who aren't sure? I am not sure about surgery either, that's why I'm here, to learn.

 

[Kmrose]

My therapist told me once that if you are not 100% clear on something then err on the side of caution. For me the tipping point was joint pain all the time and diabetes. I'm scared of the consequences with diabetes. That's not to say that I don't have hesitancies. But I am arming myself with as much knowledge beyond the hospitals training to be fully aware. Good luck to you!
.

 

[Karen Bullock]

My therapist told me once that if you are not 100% clear on something then err on the side of caution. For me the tipping point was joint pain all the time and diabetes. I'm scared of the consequences with diabetes. That's not to say that I don't have hesitancies. But I am arming myself with as much knowledge beyond the hospitals training to be fully aware. Good luck to you!
.

Please keep in touch, Kmrose. I have two types of arthritis and diabetes! That's my reason for wanting surgery.

 

[MamaBearOf4]

Please keep in touch, Kmrose. I have two types of arthritis and diabetes! That's my reason for wanting surgery.

Surgery will help with diabetes and the pain will ease up from arthritis. But you have to be willing to go through the diet and the pain and everything that comes with the surgery. Which surgery was you thinking about going for

 

[dianeseattle]

If this is strictly a bariatric support group then shouldn't we be supporting people who aren't sure?

From "Forum rules and guidelines" in our administrative section:

Welcome to the American Bariatrics forums! American Bariatrics is an online community and social network for gastric bypass, adjustable band, and all other bariatric surgery patients. Weight loss surgery is a major decision that requires motivation, emotional support, and friendship. Whether you have already undergone surgery or just researching for your weight loss journey, you will find the information and assistance that you need right here. Feel free to ask questions and share your experiences with other people who are going through a similar process as you.
(End)

Your question seemed to insinuate that I was not being supportive. That's not true, and if you got that impression, I invite you to read the post again.

I said everyone here has had the surgery and that is true. We are a support group for after surgery, or for people who have scheduled surgery or want to have surgery. We can only speak to that which we have experienced. I listed many pros and cons so she would have a lot of points to add to her decision making process.

If someone is agonizing, to the point where she said "I feel lost. Completely lost.", she is indicating that she needs help far beyond what we can give her. We are not allowed to advise medically, but we are all allowed to express our opinion. And we do.

Everyone here should read the guidelines in the administrator forum before posting. I noticed you posted less than an hour after you joined, which means you didn't read very many posts. If you had, you would have seen a broad spectrum of answers from all of us. I think among the thousands of posts that are here, every question a person could have about bariatric surgery has probably already been answered. In the population of the group that is currently active, we have followed people's journeys from pre-surgical to post, and serve as safe friends, I think. We have one really big thing in common, and a lot of smaller things as well.

When I said that all of us had elected to have the surgery, it was a statement of fact. We are here for "gastric bypass, adjustable band, and all other bariatric surgery patients."

I hope you will read my posting again so you can see that there are a lot of pros and cons to the decision of whether or not to have surgery. But we will not advise you. That is a decision you make entirely on your own.

 

[Karen Bullock]

From "Forum rules and guidelines" in our administrative section:

Welcome to the American Bariatrics forums! American Bariatrics is an online community and social network for gastric bypass, adjustable band, and all other bariatric surgery patients. Weight loss surgery is a major decision that requires motivation, emotional support, and friendship. Whether you have already undergone surgery or just researching for your weight loss journey, you will find the information and assistance that you need right here. Feel free to ask questions and share your experiences with other people who are going through a similar process as you.
(End)

Your question seemed to insinuate that I was not being supportive. That's not true, and if you got that impression, I invite you to read the post again.

I said everyone here has had the surgery and that is true. We are a support group for after surgery, or for people who have scheduled surgery or want to have surgery. We can only speak to that which we have experienced. I listed many pros and cons so she would have a lot of points to add to her decision making process.

If someone is agonizing, to the point where she said "I feel lost. Completely lost.", she is indicating that she needs help far beyond what we can give her. We are not allowed to advise medically, but we are all allowed to express our opinion. And we do.

Everyone here should read the guidelines in the administrator forum before posting. I noticed you posted less than an hour after you joined, which means you didn't read very many posts. If you had, you would have seen a broad spectrum of answers from all of us. I think among the thousands of posts that are here, every question a person could have about bariatric surgery has probably already been answered. In the population of the group that is currently active, we have followed people's journeys from pre-surgical to post, and serve as safe friends, I think. We have one really big thing in common, and a lot of smaller things as well.

When I said that all of us had elected to have the surgery, it was a statement of fact. We are here for "gastric bypass, adjustable band, and all other bariatric surgery patients."

I hope you will read my posting again so you can see that there are a lot of pros and cons to the decision of whether or not to have surgery. But we will not advise you. That is a decision you make entirely on your own.

I wasn't insinuating anything, I did read several posts before I signed up and I was simply asking a question to determine if I was in the wrong place. I think you have jumped to conclusions about me without knowing me at all.