dianeseattle
Member
I put on a lovely floor-length gown and black suede pumps with big white camellias on the toes. My ex, who is my best friend, phoned me and I asked him to come over. He's a great writer and like me, worked as a journalist for most of his life, but he apologized because he hadn't gotten me a card. Usually, he goes all out and writes the funniest stories or the most lovely poetry, including the names of people & animals we've loved together. It's a wonderful thing.
He also usually sticks a $100 bill in the envelope. I told him earlier this year I didn't want him to do that anymore because I felt bad that I couldn't reciprocate in the manner he & his wife could. My ex was rich when I met him and got richer before I divorced him. He then moved in with his weird mom and took care of her for 12 years with very few relationships or even dates. I finally found myself in need of a home and wanted to give him a break, so I moved in & took care of his mom, who was 90, so he could follow promising personals ads.
He struck gold his first time out, fell in love and got married, but while he was dating, his mom died and my dad died. His future wife was nice to me, but kind of sneaky and passive-aggressive, bless her soul. She never told me I had to move out, but she started doing her laundry at the house and clearing out closets. Dave & I still did the things we had to do to keep things together and I had my surgery. She watched as I lost 115 pounds in the house where she was going to be living as soon as I moved out. She had a lot more faith in the strength of her relationship than I would have if an ex-wife was in the picture.
She usually has a Hanukkah brunch, but I begged off because I wanted my son to be able to attend and figured he wouldn't come if I were there. But she, too, was hurt by his mental breakdown, as was Dave, and she didn't have her usual brunch. But I made them these round sugar cookies and gave them to them with a card. These are the cookies:
I asked him to come over and told him I'd write me a card from him that he could give to me. That's the kind of jokey thing we do. He did & I busied myself elsewhere while he read the card & added to it. Then he gave it to me & I pretended to be all surprised & we cracked up. I opened the card and read what he had added, and an envelope of cash fell out. He gave me $300 for Christmas and boy, did I need it. I'm so glad he didn't listen to me.
He also brought me some nosh from his wife, who had had a brunch after all, but kept it small with her immediate family. It included latkes and oy, such a bagel with cream cheese and lox! But she cut the bagel in half, used only a tiny amount of cheese & lox and a lot of vegetables, because she knows how I eat. Later I noticed that she had actually drawn & colored a big gift label, which must have taken her an hour to do! She's a mensch!
My ex also brought me a treat:
these are the tiniest petit fours I've ever seen. they are too rich to eat even a whole one, but i ate half of the christmas tree.
Also on Christmas day, my estranged son phoned, two months to the day after he disappeared after having a psychotic break. I wasn't happy to hear from him because he was trying to make it seem like everything was normal, and was bragging about all the accomplishments he had made in the last two months and how proud he was of himself. We came near having a conversation about That Night, but he started sounding angry so we changed the subject. I wasn't playing his game. I just answered his questions, then suggested he call Dave, who thought he was mad at him. He said he'd talk to me soon, but I really am not prepared for that. He asked how I was and I said, "devastated." He ruined my life, on the eve of signing a lease on a house, before I broke my wrist & arm, went off and slept in his car, returned and violently threw everything in the dumpster he'd left behind and just generally left me confused and beyond depressed. I know intellectually he's mentally ill, but emotionally, I'm all wrapped up in love & hate & anger.
anyway, I'm going to pay my credit cards down and use Dave's money to live on, and I have started looking for a 1br house so i can move. I can't do any heavy lifting, but I have a wonderful moving guy I've used a few times and have recommended him to others. He will do everything and I'll be able to pay him cash, as soon as I find a place just for me.
And I have started working on a book about life after bariatric surgery. God knows I've already written enough posts about it to fill a multi-volume encyclopedia. When I get a bit further I may ask some of you for permission to quote you in this book, and will give you whatever credit or compensation you think is right. If you do not want to be included under any circumstance, send me a private message.
And don't feel self-conscious. I already have all the material I need, so I won't be using anything I get from present and future posts. I'm in the same boat with you and I need this group as much as you do, for loving emotional support, not for grist for the writing mill.
Maybe this book will save my life.
He also usually sticks a $100 bill in the envelope. I told him earlier this year I didn't want him to do that anymore because I felt bad that I couldn't reciprocate in the manner he & his wife could. My ex was rich when I met him and got richer before I divorced him. He then moved in with his weird mom and took care of her for 12 years with very few relationships or even dates. I finally found myself in need of a home and wanted to give him a break, so I moved in & took care of his mom, who was 90, so he could follow promising personals ads.
He struck gold his first time out, fell in love and got married, but while he was dating, his mom died and my dad died. His future wife was nice to me, but kind of sneaky and passive-aggressive, bless her soul. She never told me I had to move out, but she started doing her laundry at the house and clearing out closets. Dave & I still did the things we had to do to keep things together and I had my surgery. She watched as I lost 115 pounds in the house where she was going to be living as soon as I moved out. She had a lot more faith in the strength of her relationship than I would have if an ex-wife was in the picture.
She usually has a Hanukkah brunch, but I begged off because I wanted my son to be able to attend and figured he wouldn't come if I were there. But she, too, was hurt by his mental breakdown, as was Dave, and she didn't have her usual brunch. But I made them these round sugar cookies and gave them to them with a card. These are the cookies:
I asked him to come over and told him I'd write me a card from him that he could give to me. That's the kind of jokey thing we do. He did & I busied myself elsewhere while he read the card & added to it. Then he gave it to me & I pretended to be all surprised & we cracked up. I opened the card and read what he had added, and an envelope of cash fell out. He gave me $300 for Christmas and boy, did I need it. I'm so glad he didn't listen to me.
He also brought me some nosh from his wife, who had had a brunch after all, but kept it small with her immediate family. It included latkes and oy, such a bagel with cream cheese and lox! But she cut the bagel in half, used only a tiny amount of cheese & lox and a lot of vegetables, because she knows how I eat. Later I noticed that she had actually drawn & colored a big gift label, which must have taken her an hour to do! She's a mensch!
My ex also brought me a treat:
these are the tiniest petit fours I've ever seen. they are too rich to eat even a whole one, but i ate half of the christmas tree.
Also on Christmas day, my estranged son phoned, two months to the day after he disappeared after having a psychotic break. I wasn't happy to hear from him because he was trying to make it seem like everything was normal, and was bragging about all the accomplishments he had made in the last two months and how proud he was of himself. We came near having a conversation about That Night, but he started sounding angry so we changed the subject. I wasn't playing his game. I just answered his questions, then suggested he call Dave, who thought he was mad at him. He said he'd talk to me soon, but I really am not prepared for that. He asked how I was and I said, "devastated." He ruined my life, on the eve of signing a lease on a house, before I broke my wrist & arm, went off and slept in his car, returned and violently threw everything in the dumpster he'd left behind and just generally left me confused and beyond depressed. I know intellectually he's mentally ill, but emotionally, I'm all wrapped up in love & hate & anger.
anyway, I'm going to pay my credit cards down and use Dave's money to live on, and I have started looking for a 1br house so i can move. I can't do any heavy lifting, but I have a wonderful moving guy I've used a few times and have recommended him to others. He will do everything and I'll be able to pay him cash, as soon as I find a place just for me.
And I have started working on a book about life after bariatric surgery. God knows I've already written enough posts about it to fill a multi-volume encyclopedia. When I get a bit further I may ask some of you for permission to quote you in this book, and will give you whatever credit or compensation you think is right. If you do not want to be included under any circumstance, send me a private message.
And don't feel self-conscious. I already have all the material I need, so I won't be using anything I get from present and future posts. I'm in the same boat with you and I need this group as much as you do, for loving emotional support, not for grist for the writing mill.
Maybe this book will save my life.
Hehe...
