good luck, Mamabear. It seems like your post-surgical life has been filled with strife, whereas before, your kids doted on you and your husband was pretty supportive. Aside from your obviously organic physical pain, do you think your family might be trying to sabotage your success? This happens all the time because a) people hate change and b) they want your focus to be on them, not on yourself.
Most kids don't even know what they're doing to a parent when they start acting out. Seems they wait until you're at your weakest, or you are least able to defend yourself, and then they get loud and you have to pay attention. How's your sweet little baby boy? Isn't he the one who always brought you stuff and tried to take care of you before surgery?
Your postings before and after surgery are radically different. I'm glad to see that you are sticking to your goals, but my uninformed opinion is that your old support system, which you told me you were counting on, is deteriorating. Do you think your family system is contributing to your physical problems?
You had such a hard childhood and when I met you back in March, you were so enthusiastic about the new family you'd created, and your long-desired goal of losing hundreds of pounds. You were on that road and you stayed on it. I just don't understand why some of your kids seemed to turn on you when you were at your most vulnerable. Please don't let them get to you. They, and your hubby, owe you everything. You did and did for them and now they should be treating you like a queen. You've done nothing wrong.
I hope this hospitalization gives you some peace and some rest, and that whatever's going on is remedied soon. You know that obesity comes with a huge host of problems, many of which are solved when your health improves and your weight goes down. You're doing really well right now, in terms of staying on track. I hope you can just ignore those others, because you can't control them, and you can only control your plan to meet your goals. To give them your attention and have your health suffer is to submit to a fresh method of abuse. You've come too far to go back to that kind of life.
I'm not worried about your physical symptoms as much as your emotional health. I know you have anxiety & take meds, and I seem to recall you finding some supportive talk therapy, also. Girl, if you never do anything else, stick with your plan to love yourself. Your kids & hub have already gotten oceans of love from you and you have devoted your entire life to taking care of them. I hope you're turning that love-bomb on yourself now.
I know many of us here would encourage you to focus on your breathing and silent meditation. Do you know and believe that affirmations work? They do, but only through constant repetition. And it doesn't happen overnight. But for every good thought you have, a bad thought is expelled from your mind. I give the same advice to myself as I'm giving to you. I have an estranged child, my only child, and it's killing me. My arm & wrist bones and ligaments are causing me constant pain. I have a Christmas tree in my living room that I haven't even decorated and it's been there for two weeks (artificial). I quit smoking after Thanksgiving and all I want to do is buy a pack of cigarettes. And it's coming on the anniversary of the death of my best friend, my 16yo cat Isabelle, who died shortly before I joined this group. Then there's the pain of having no family and no friends, and staying in my house all day, not even doing housework, ashamed of my life. This is depression and yes, Taxman, depression is a thing many of us suffer before and after, no matter how successful our weight loss is. Depression is an illness, as real as diabetes. It's incurable, but treatable. But it requires a lot of outside help.
These are the days when it's dark longer than it is light outside. We all need light & warmth to grow. I don't know how you're going to get better, Mamabear, but I am going to take my advice even if you don't! I probably need it more than you do. Get better and please, love yourself first, because if you don't, you really can't completely love anyone else.
