• American Bariatrics is a free online Bariatric Support Group. Register for your free account and get access to all of our great features!

Yearly Doctors Visit

missyinacage

missyinacage

Member
I had my yearly visit today with my weight loss doctor. Here I am, feeling great about where I'm at, the road I've taken to get here and my daily routine that (I hope) will help me maintain this body for the rest of my life. But .. no.

My doctor started by telling me I had lost 17lbs since I was last in, which is a little slow for 5 months and most people continue losing for 2 years. She couldn't find my earliest weight in her computer so just went with 239 as my "heaviest" (it wasn't) and the closest she could find to my surgery date was my 4 week check up so she went with that as my "surgery date" weight. Then she asked what my goal weight is. She asked how many calories and carbs I am consuming daily and if I have eaten any sweets. When I answered that honestly, she went on a tangent about how I should have no sweets EVER, I am eating too many calories and insisted I make an appt with the nutritionist, because I need help immediately.

My day of surgery weight was 238, so there is a pretty big difference in the amount of weight I've lost both overall and since surgery compared to the numbers she is using. My original goal weight was 170. When I passed that, I made a new one of 160. I currently weight 156, which puts me in "normal" weight range according to their BMI/weight guidelines, (which she admitted when asked.)

She was SO great during my early weight loss journey, I am extremely disappointed that this is where we're at now. I feel like her behavior today was basically negligent. By being too lazy to actually find my correct numbers, she made false assumptions about how well I have or have not done. And of course, since she was so great during my early journey, and is an actual doctor, it's hard to not doubt myself. Maybe I am eating too much!? Maybe I should go for 140?! Had she said these things to me AND used the correct numbers to judge me, it would be much harder to convince myself that she is in the wrong here. And yet .. No, I do not eat a perfect, whole food only, plant based diet. No, I do not get an hour of aerobic exercise every day. Yes, I COULD be doing better. And it pisses me off that she's got me thinking that my great job isn't good enough.
 
Oh my god, Missy, that doc is OUT TO LUNCH!!!!

You've done an awesome job. Anyone who started and finished where you did would be proud.

I don't know why a doctor would actually share such negativity, even if a patient fell short. A doctor's job is to monitor and encourage health, not sabotage patients.

You've been inspiring in your journey. Anyone who can't see that must be having problems of her own that are distracting her.

Trust US. We won't judge you on some imaginary scale. We're walking beside you, and you're helping us succeed by example.
 
She actually said people keep losing for two years. I keep reading it is pretty much over before or close to a year.
Beside the fact she treated you poorly and was not even correct on her data.
I felt the same about my clinic, he stopped doing what he said he would do (on scripts, vitamins etc) and was snarky on the telemedicine visits (why did you eat Special K?, because I like it). He also got later and later to arrive for appointments, last one I blew them off after 30min. Forget it especially since they were not helping me.
You are incredible and have been so successful and look fantastic.

I am totally looking up to you as someone whose behavior I can try to model, but I am the worst compliant patient on the planet.
I eat candy and drink Diet Coke, haven't keeled over yet and I am losing weight. And that Diet Coke tastes real good, one habit I was not gonna break. Once I eat the candy I am done and really don't go hog wild, and I count the calories.

Furious that the doctor treated you that way, people treat others so poorly nowadays, what has happened to us as a society?
I am a grouchy old Texan who unfortunately says what I really feel, sorry if it is over the top.

One thing I notice is that when I participate and gain knowledge from this great group, I don't eat as much and as many fattening foods.
So the participation is helping me control my eating habits. Trying to learn to eat like a normal person, not the fatty I was (still am inside).

I want to be like y'all and be successful on my adventure to the new me.
 
YOU ARE AMAZING! Please let this doctors opinion roll off your back and down the sewer where it belongs!! You’ve done awesome things. You have to live your life by your new standards now, you know what you wanted, how you got here, and what you want your future to be. You have done a great job and it’s good enough!
 
Sadly, i have GAINED 10 pounds in 2 months! I'm not surprised. I've been in horrible mental shape for a while. And it's not just how much or what I've been eating; it's what I HAVEN'T been doing and eating.

I'm not going to beat myself up about it. I have been so depressed, so deeply, for so long, I refuse to pile on and make it worse.

There are things I'm still dealing with, including feeling raped by the asshole who sawed off my car's catalytic converter. My sister helped raise about $2k to help offset the cost, and it's in the shop now. I'll still go into debt to pay the total cost, and the world feels evil and scary.

But what can i do about it? Lay down and die? Surviving a trauma can feel worse than the trauma itself. I know better than to make decisions in an abused state of mind.

I don't have a wholesale cure, can't encourage others when I'm suffering. So I'll just reach out to say, hey, I'm in here with you. You're not alone.

I'm not alone.☻ 3749
 
Last edited:
I would tell that doc where to go and file a complaint. Thankfully I have a very supportive doc for the weight stuff. My general doc let's me know in still considered over weight but doesn't say much
..probs because I didn't say anything to her about it before doing it.

I started with a floating weight of 236-240. I had surgery 9-2-20 and am currently at 165. I would like to lose 5-10 more but am currently just focusing on maintaining, especially through camper season, and learning to like my new body which is a significant challenge.
 
Thank you for sharing your experience Missy. Your doctor gave her 2 cents. Your goals are the ones that matter, not hers. You have done remarkably well on so many levels. Don’t let this interaction undo or overshadow all the good work you’ve done. You are an inspiration and mentor to us all!!!
 
From my perspective of just reading your posts on this forum, you seem to be doing great. I would not take her opinion to heart. She's got a narrow view of the process that isn't unusual, even for doctors who deal with obesity.

If you feel good about where you are and what you are doing, that is what is really important.

For what it's worth, I get the impression that you are doing great! Keep it up!
 
That doctor is out of her mind!!! Her focus during your appointment should have been completely on you! And what about some positivity about how far you’ve come and the fabulous progress you’ve made?? Don’t let it get you down!! Keep up the good work Missy!!
 
You guys are all just freaking AMAZING!!, I hope you know that. I know that we ALL struggle with different issues at different times. But literally every single time, this group steps in with true support, advice and no judgement.
Due to the doctor words yesterday, I decided to sit down and take a hard look at where I'm at and what my eating habits are. On paper and everything .. it was serious! lol
Turns out, I'm still okay with what I'm doing. I am on a journey to repair both my health AND my relationship with food. We all know diets don't work due to the restrictive nature of them. 1,000 to 1.200 calories a day is not enough for an active, adult woman.
While I believe I will probably always have to pay more attention to food intake than a person who has never battled obesity, I am striving for as normal as I can get. Everything in moderation, even an occasional freshly baked cookie.
 
dianeseattle said:
Sadly, i have GAINED 10 pounds in 2 months! I'm not surprised. I've been in horrible mental shape for a while. And it's not just how much or what I've been eating; it's what I HAVEN'T been doing and eating.

I'm not going to beat myself up about it. I have been so depressed, so deeply, for so long, I refuse to pile on and make it worse.

There are things I'm still dealing with, including feeling raped by the asshole who sawed off my car's catalytic converter. My sister helped raise about $2k to help offset the cost, and it's in the shop now. I'll still go into debt to pay the total cost, and the world feels evil and scary.

But what can i do about it? Lay down and die? Surviving a trauma can feel worse than the trauma itself. I know better than to make decisions in an abused state of mind.

I don't have a wholesale cure, can't encourage others when I'm suffering. So I'll just reach out to say, hey, I'm in here with you. You're not alone.

I'm not alone.☻View attachment 3749
Click to expand...
Diane, girl, you are literally killing it every DAMN day. 14 years you have just done it, lived it, mastered it. To do that on top of the depression is really a triumph. I am sorry about your car. It's horrible how violated it makes you feel when someone turns you into a victim of their own greed. But you're right, all you can do is keep on keeping on. Never think that you are not encouraging others, even in your suffering. You are a daily inspiration to me. I want to BE you 14 years down the road. The courage you have shown in sharing your personal journey (even those that aren't weight loss related) is a beacon. Hang in there.
 
missyinacage said:
You guys are all just freaking AMAZING!!, I hope you know that. I know that we ALL struggle with different issues at different times. But literally every single time, this group steps in with true support, advice and no judgement.
Due to the doctor words yesterday, I decided to sit down and take a hard look at where I'm at and what my eating habits are. On paper and everything .. it was serious! lol
Turns out, I'm still okay with what I'm doing. I am on a journey to repair both my health AND my relationship with food. We all know diets don't work due to the restrictive nature of them. 1,000 to 1.200 calories a day is not enough for an active, adult woman.
While I believe I will probably always have to pay more attention to food intake than a person who has never battled obesity, I am striving for as normal as I can get. Everything in moderation, even an occasional freshly baked cookie.
Click to expand...


I agree. I do still have sweets here and there and it varies what I have. If its at the camper its usually a drink or a smor (one square of chocolate, half a cracker- same as I give the kids so when they have 2 they think they are getting a lot but really just get a normal one ) ice cream i have bought the mini cones- 110 cals and just the right amount to not end up with too much suger. I have recently stopped physically tracking food but keeping a mental note...this is in part because I acknowledge I need to watch what I eat and even research at times but still allows me some normalcy in dynamics.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top